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I thought I was reading The Onion.  From AF Times,

https://www.airforcetimes.com/off-duty/military-culture/2023/07/11/1864-letter-recounts-confederate-soldiers-masturbation-addiction/

"The poor soldiers forced to bear witness to Charles’ ailment were no doubt scarred, their visages imprinted with thousand-yard stares well before ever being baptized in the fires of armed conflict.

To this day, desperate cries of “It’s Johnny Reb, not Johnny Rub!” echo throughout the South, particularly in Pitts’ home state of Virginia, which labels itself as “for lovers” instead of for onanism."

 

Ain't gonna lie, I had to look that last work up.  Yep, Dictionary.com says it means:

  • 1.
    masturbation.
  • 2.
    coitus interruptus.
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10 hours ago, disgruntledemployee said:

Editing room of Military Times one Friday afternoon:

Editor - What have we got to publish?

Perky Young Journalist 1- Well Boss, we could publish a story on the lack of PCS and Bonus money.

Crusty Journalist 2 - I've got a story ready for the reserve call up to Europe for Ukraine support.

Editor - Both of y'all get the fuck outta here with that nonsense...I want 10% more adds from Juul and Monster, and run this story about Civil War masturbation as filler.  We got keep that click count up!

 

Any military times pub is only good for house breaking to dogs...and since the switch in paper quality, it's not even good at that.

Edited by GKinnear
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I would have been a Johnny Rub.   “I’ll jerk off all over your house James Franco” - D. McBirde  

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14 hours ago, M2 said:

 

That's how they keep those Russian war machines running.  Lol.  Chinese advanced composites.  

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6 minutes ago, arg said:

 

Lol.  That dude got a second chance at life.   

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Speaking of the CIA.......

There I was - RFO (relief pilot for 2-man crew) flying MD-11 from Taipei to Anchorage.  I've since learned the CIA presence in Taiwan is significant - more on that later.  Deadheaded into TPE about 24 hours before departure, arriving about 19:00L and basically crashed.  I had enough fun on the trip up to that point and was ready for some rest.  Met up the the CA and FO at hotel pickup time the next night and headed to the AP for the flight. 

They had pushed it up the night before at a local watering hole called Canegies.  Wed night, ladies night.  In the car, they were exchanging recaps of the night and were also apologetic to me for not contacting me prior to heading out.  I was cool with that since I was dragging, so no biggie.  I just stayed in listening mode.  The left seater was an old school dog and found his standard-one-each Filipino LBFM for the evening.  The FO had ended up with an American chick who he later discovered was CIA.  I'm pretty sure our driver didn't speak English since I saw absolutely no reaction to some of the rather graphic stories being shared.  They both wrapped up the stories detailing the difficulties of getting their companions to leave the next morning.  The LBFM wanting to clean the bathroom and organize toiletries and the American wanting to lounge around over coffee and room service.  A good time was had by all in the end.

So, a few hours into the flight.  The CA is in the bunk and the FO and I are just chilling somewhere over the Pacific.  I had a thought as I was listening to their stories that I couldn't keep from bringing up at that point.  "Hey, I'm not judging or anything.  I'm a huge fan of strange pu$$y.  But do you think stepping out on your old lady with a chick from the CIA was the best move?  I mean, if she turns out to be a Glenn Close/Fatal Attraction type, she's got some resources to possibly track your ass down."

My man was visibly shaken for a minute and then said quietly - "You know, that's a valid point.  Let's hope it doesn't come to that." 

I didn't mean to freak him out, but i always think of him any time I'm Taipei.  Actually heading there on my next trip.  Every round-eye I see there now is a potential spy. 😁

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5 hours ago, brabus said:

Have to hand it to the three letters, they do hire some exceptional talent. 

Quote that for posterity...and all the new three letters have definitely learned that lesson...

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1 hour ago, M2 said:

It's nothing new...

I bet every single one of them thought they’d be in some European posting out of movie, but instead they all get assigned a complete shithole surrounded by a bunch of dudes. Suckers! 

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14 minutes ago, brabus said:

I bet every single one of them thought they’d be in some European posting out of movie, but instead they all get assigned a complete shithole surrounded by a bunch of dudes. Suckers! 

Sounds strangely familiar to a military carrer lol. 

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On 7/27/2023 at 10:58 AM, Biff_T said:

Lol.  That dude got a second chance at life.   

Not exactly.  His wife survived the attack.  

The woman that ran up to help out didn't survive.  

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6 hours ago, HuggyU2 said:

Not exactly.  His wife survived the attack.  

The woman that ran up to help out didn't survive.  

The woman that ran up to help was her mother...

"The incident is real, but it is not new. The tiger attack happened in 2016, at China’s Badaling Wildlife World. The incident occurred at a tiger safari park where visitors can drive through and view various exotic animals in a more natural setting. The 32-year-old woman, identified only by her surname, Zhao, reportedly got out of her car after an argument with her husband. Security camera footage captured the moment a tiger pounced on her, dragging her away from the vehicle.

In the video, we can see that Zhao steps out of the right side of the car, walks around the front of the car, and opens the left-side door. Then, startled, she looks behind her and within seconds, a huge tiger pounces on her, dragging her out of view of the camera. A man jumps out of the car, looks confused and tries to run after the woman. A woman – the woman’s mother jumps out of the rear seat and runs after the tiger and her daughter.

We do not know exactly what happened afterward, but Zhao escaped (maybe because her mother distracted the tiger). Zhao’s 57-year-old mother, surnamed Li , however was attacked by another tiger when she was outside and seriously injured. We can see park rangers arriving at the scene in the video immediately aftewards, but Li died from her injuries before medical help could be provided."

More at...

https://www.cartoq.com/woman-attacked-by-tiger-when-she-stepped-out-of-car-after-argument-video-fact-check/



 

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9 hours ago, HuggyU2 said:

Not exactly.  His wife survived the attack.  

The woman that ran up to help out didn't survive.  

Bummer.  

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