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I'll add something a bit different here. The above advice is solid, especially not drinking. Remember that everyone you deal with other than your wife and kids has seen this a million times. When a judge/lawyer/mediator asks what you want, it's just a test. You're getting half. If that's what you ask for, they know which party is acting in good faith. "I want my children to have a great relationship with both of their parents going forward, and to split the assets we accumulated while married right down the middle." Don't date for now. You have kids, I didn't. But they won't understand I'm guessing, and it sounds like the soon-to-be-ex will tell them if she finds out. You're going to get so much ass it'll make your head spin, so be patient. Write down everything that was wrong in your relationship. You determine the detail, but it should include what she would do that you didn't like, why you didn't like it, and how it made you feel. For bonus points, also write down the things that she didn't like about you. Trust me on this. When you meet that flight attendant that turns your stomach into butterflies, if it ain't written down, you won't remember it. Make sure the woman you decide to make into your kids' second mom isn't a recycled script. Do not trust this to your memory alone. The smaller brain is always an optimist. Think about how many people you know. Then think about how many of them are good friends. Then think about how many of those are best friends. The friend you can go on a month long backpacking trip with and not get annoyed with or tired of once. Pretty rare, huh? Now add sexual compatibility to that. If you find your forever-mate after 3 months and a few tinder dates, you'd better be buying lottery tickets too...

Duck, one other thing I forgot to mention earlier is I also got out of a significant amount of alimony by offering to pay off some of her debts. It did hurt me a bit financially at the time, but in the long run it paid off as it gave me more bargaining room for other things. Just an idea for ways to get more time with the kids or to pay less alimony.

Sorry to hear about the struggles, Duck. As a kid of divorce, I might be one of the weirdos that thinks it was a great thing. Not seeing my parents fight in front of me, not learning how relationships work from watching 2 dysfunctional people who didn't really like each other try to coexist, and actually forming 1 on 1 relationships with them was huge and well worth not having the two of them under 1 roof. As a couple others have stated, don't let the fog between you and her creep in between you and your kids. It seems like your daughter already knows the deal by moving out of her room and choosing to be closer to you; just keep being an awesome dad and don't bring them into the fight. They'll know the deal. Secondly, just from what you've said about some actions, it sounds like the relationship hasn't been a partnership for awhile. As many others brought up, this could be the start of your new life and your ability to find someone who is truly your partner in life and compliments who you are now. Take care of yourself, keep being a great dad, and don't hit the booze too hard. It'll get better.

Take detailed notes.

Great... now I suddenly hate my wife. Thanks, asshole!

You can’t get involuntarily sent to safety/IPC or any other school that adds an ADSO if you don’t want it. Any ADSO you take us voluntary at this point. And no unit will send you if they know you are bailing on that short a timeline anyway. Just my experience. And yeah, continuous orders is how the reserves roll. Takes a while to start, but once you do, it doesn’t stop.

Ha! No, I'm not a stocks guy, but I browse the site for the comedic value. There's some funny shit in there.

I'd love to know if you have ever taken investment advice from reddit wallstreetbets before?

(slight spoilers to follow) Generally, I dislike prequels, it always feels rushed and parts are shoehorned in. "Ooh, look, this is the connection to that other film you like!" It felt forced and the character development and emotional hook/connection with the audience is non-existent, both of which are why Marvel movies are good. It isn't as bad as Thor 2 or Iron Man 3, I'll put around Dr. Strange. However, I, the wife, and the kids all enjoyed the movie. I disagree with @17D_guy (noted above). One scene involving a random nameless background actor I thought was unnecessary. It could have been resolved the same way to advance the story without that particular dialogue (little too close to current feminist complaints of being patronized). Some of the interactions between Captain Marvel and Nick Fury felt choppy. Probably a rushed editing job and my dislike of prequels. The soundtrack was the soundtrack of my Middle and High School. "Just a Girl" by No Doubt was too on the nose though. Additionally, I don't understand some of the decisions made regarding the Mar-Vell character itself nor the Skrulls. I'll have to wait for more movies to see if thy will eventually resemble their traditional role in the Marvel canon. I enjoyed the visual theme of the hero always standing back up. It was consistent throughout the film and a good metaphor for real life. I will also caveat all that by saying that while not near as bad as it's been reported in some outlets, I thoroughly enjoyed it, there were some issues...however I don't think I would have noticed half of them if it's media relations had been handled different. Just my opinion, but the controversy is mostly self induced. It's a good popcorn flick whose faults would have been passed over had the public not been keyed in to look for them. Overall: Solid B+. Go see it as a matinee.

In 2007, did you take into account TAMI21 and the near zeroing of 11F production in the name of reasons?

Went thru this last year, no kids thankfully. Lots of people have mentioned it already but stop drinking, I didn't adhere to this and said/did some pretty stupid things, thankfully none have come back to haunt me (yet). Get yourself around some good bros and as much as you may want to shit talk her with them, I don't recommend it, too many people are intertwined between you and her and you can burn more bridges than build that way. Military One Source was a great resource, they hooked me up with a counselor and 10 free visits, and I'll be honest, talking to the counselor and getting my emotions out there and not elsewhere was probably the best move I made. I've had mixed results with the Family Advocate or whatever they're called on base, but all the people I've talked to off base have been amazing. As far as money and assets, I went to the ex and had her write down a list of everything she wanted as far as furniture, plates, linens, personal stuff, pictures, etc and what she thought was fair. This turned out to be very helpful as what she wanted was actually less than I was willing to give her so I made out decently. Now we did do some minor negotiating over alimony, but again, in the end I walked away paying less than I was prepared to because I let her make the first move (never show your cards if you can help it). Being civil is going to be the hardest part of all of this. You'll want to scream and lose control, but don't do it. Bite your tongue so hard it bleeds if you have to, but do not give her ammo to take more than she already is. It'll hurt now, but in a year you'll be proud of how you acted. As far as kids go, I grew up in a divorced family. Saw my parents fight, got used as a pawn once or twice. In the end that's not what I remember. I remember the good times with my dad (he passed a few years ago) and how he was always there for me at concerts, sporting events, graduations, you name it. Every chance you can make your kids feel loved, don't spoil them, be the parent they need in their lives and they'll turn out okay. You need anything, we're all here to help.

Captain Marvel was pretty good. Wasn't man hating and well done female empowerment. Plus, lots of "vintage" AF stuff all over it.

Harrumph. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

What I REALLY want to know is how/why Slife was creeping on my linkedin about 2 weeks ago. Of all the people, you'd think he'd know how to use Private Mode . . . I've been completely out since July.

So word around the camp fire is that it’s official that the next AFSOC CC is the one and only Jim Slife. My interactions with him were very minor, but the reputation is atrocious. Anybody have any better info or is this news appropriately placed in the “What’s Wrong with the Air Force” thread?

This sort of thing has been standard for a decade or longer. And management wonders why people are bailing to the airlines in droves...and those that stay (or can’t leave yet) are stuck working for the dregs that are left. This may be my new rule for an air force career: RUN! Fucking run!! Management doesn’t deserve your sacrifice. (the old rules being: 1. Timing is Everything 2. Life isn’t fair 3. There is no justice)

In this day and age on Baseops I’m really surprised no one has brought up MGTOW or Men Going Their Own Way. YouTube it. If I could go back in time I would have told my younger self to listen to Tom Leykis in the mid 2000s. Here’s a more recent offering Best of luck bro. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Why don’t we start with not requiring military members to pay federal and state income tax? That’s an easy pay increase across the board with no perceptible reduction in tax revenue.

A good squadron buddy of mine went through this last year... if I could give you one piece of advice from the observer POV..even if you think you can do everything amicably, still get a lawyer.. his started out with her being reasonable and agreeing to things but devolved into some awful shit and ended up involving lawyers

So, she's a diehard supporter of the "grab-em-by-the-pussy boss, to include voting for Brett Kavenaugh, because you know, that crazy bitch obviously made it all up. 😒 But now she's a victim that deserves to be believed because it really did happen to her? Unlike Kavenaugh's accuser, with her seat in Congress, she won't have to hide, move and deal with death threats. What a total piece of shit. Unless she names the person, I don't believe a word that comes out of her mouth.

Sorry to hear that, Brother. Wrap your brain around the concept that she will get half of everything you ever earned while you were together. If you're able to come out better, then it's all gravy. Do everything you can to remain civil and professional with her. Never let your kids hear you say anything bad about her. Ever. Not once. As strange as this sounds, moving forward your relationship with her, and it's failure are none of their business. No matter how badly she may behave, she's their Mom. If you can sit down at the kitchen table with her and put it all on a legal pad, you'll save yourself a lot of angst and attorney fees. If you can "give in" to certain things she wants in order to facilitate a quick agreement in return for certain things you want, it's worth every penny. People will give you advice like: "Roll in on that cunt and fight her tooth and nail!" Ask those people to compare what they think they "won" in court financially to what it cost to litigate it. It isn't worth it. Moving forward, your relationship with her is going to be jointly parenting your kids. That relationship will be healthier for the kids if the two of you can agree to act like adults ad settle as amicably and quickly as possible. Now; You. You're a pro. Compartmentalize like a MF and work your way through indoc and IOE. When you get a chance, take some time for yourself. Nonrev to Hawaii and put it all out of your mind for a few days. Exercise is your friend - the more the better. At some point in all of this process, you'll have come far enough and gotten past the anger enough to look at what happened a little more objectively. When that happens, the single most important thing you can do is forgive her and yourself for what happened. Let it fucking go. You're also about to re-learn who your real friends are. Lean on those folks. Bigtime. Don't medicate with booze or food. That's it. The day you have to tell your children is the worst day of your life. Everyday after that will be just a little bit better. Good luck, chum. Those of us who've been through this are rooting for you. Hell, you can at least call yourself a real airline pilot now!

Lawyer up, delete Facebook, and hit the gym is the popular mantra on Reddit. Look at it this way, you don’t have an AD retirement she can take half of, and you might as well move to whatever base you get to make sitting reserve easier. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Is SewerRat one of the new AIs that make posts to sound human or is he really semi-literate? The world may never know.

The MiG may have survived if he would have used the Defensive Egg