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Whats the funniest thing you've heard over the radio?


Gravedigger

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I gathered that, I guess I just don't see the humor in it.

Oh, okay...me neither. Here's one:

Wizard Male Controller: "Merkin 69, Wizard"

Wizard Female Controller: "Merkin 69, this is Wizard, go ahead."

<obvious silence>

Edited by booze
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Ok everybody is familiar with the British or Aussie sounding guy over at Bahrain center who works the sector towards Kuwait. Well we were transiting his airspace a couple of days ago and this is what we heard go on.

Bahrain center - Indian flight ### (you know really Bad Engrish)

Indian flight ### - no reply x4

Bahrain center - Indian flight ### I have been calling you 4 times, if I had wanted to be ignored I would have stayed home today.

Edited by cragspider
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Ok everybody is familiar with the British or Aussie sounding guy over at Bahrain center who works the sector towards Kuwait. Well we were transiting his airspace a couple of days ago and this is what we heard go on.

Bahrain center - Indian flight ### (you know really Bad Engrish)

Indian flight ### - no reply x4

Bahrain center - Indian flight ### I have been calling you 4 times, if I had wanted to be ignored I would have stayed home today.

Dam*it, after I typed it all out and posted I see the story has already been told...

Edited by boggsie
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Hint...it has to do with max airspeed below 10K...

Wow... What's the max speed under 10K again? Hint: it's not 200. What's the max speed under class B? Hint...somewhere around 200. It pains me that the grammar Nazis pounce in seconds but THIS went unchecked for over 12 hours...

Hint, I can only speak for myself, but I care more about that shit than the latest SNAP pissing contest.

OH, and in order to validate this post and keep it on topic...I've heard funnier shit on the radio than that (the post I'm referencing).

Edited by zrooster99
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Wow... What's the max speed under 10K again? Hint: it's not 200. What's the max speed under class B? Hint...somewhere around 200. It pains me that the grammar Nazis pounce in seconds but THIS went unchecked for over 12 hours...

Hint, I can only speak for myself, but I care more about that shit than the latest SNAP pissing contest.

OH, and in order to validate this post and keep it on topic...I've heard funnier shit on the radio than that (the post I'm referencing).

Nobody said 200 below 10K. Nobody said shit about class B. Oh, and here's one more hint...I'm not a SNAP in real life. But thanks for the airspace briefing.

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Nobody said 200 below 10K. Nobody said shit about class B. Oh, and here's one more hint...I'm not a SNAP in real life. But thanks for the airspace briefing.

Hint, I can only speak for myself, but I care more about that shit than the latest SNAP pissing contest.

I wasn't saying THIS was a SANP pissing contest and I wasn't saying that YOU were a SNAP. I was just saying at least the subject was aviation related.

If I misunderstood your post, my bad. As for Class B. I introduced that to the conversation because I assume the controller had the AC slow from 250 to 200 because of the Class B speed limit not the speedlimit below 10,000. Might be wrong, I wasn't there...

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"2"

Herb intercom humor is not "funniest thing you've heard over the radio".. Unless of course this was all with a stuck mike, then it's only mildly funny.

"3" Not funny, but BQ NOT Herb. Unless BUFF's are somehow now Herbs? That's just unnecessary name calling. :beer:

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All joking aside, did you guys ever find that sperm bank at home station? It would be a legendary squadron fundraising opportunity.

Maybe the 23d BS guys, but the 69th BS guys would probably turned down by the dozen... :-)

"3" Not funny, but BQ NOT Herb. Unless BUFF's are somehow now Herbs? That's just unnecessary name calling. :beer:

?? Not really sure how BQ got thrown in there, but Herbs?

herbs.JPG

Edited by BQZip01
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  • 2 weeks later...

So back in Phase II my buddy is departing out to a MOA and approach asks for a PIREP:

Approach: "Hey KnifeXX, where are the tops of those clouds?"

Stud: " Uhh, I would say about 1,000 feet below me."

Approach: Say that again?

Stud: 1,000 feet be-low me

Approach (after a pause to keep himself from laughing): Above or below you?

Stud: Be-low me, I said be-low me

IP: Shutup and get off the radios.

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Two more, within two minutes on T-1 cross country:

Female IP over interplane: Hurry up and get off cause I'm coming right behind you.

Approach: Delta ###, do you see the Cougar?

Delta: Roger, Cougar in sight

Approach: Delta ###, follow the Cougar to final

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I always enjoy reporting "traffic in sight, blow me" when presented with the opprotunity.

Getting to report a Fokker in sight is great. It's pretty rare these days and if you can combine it with below me, you win. "I've got that Fokker insight, blow me."

Edited by slacker
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Getting to report a Fokker in sight is great. It's pretty rare these days and if you can combine it with below me, you win. "I've got that Fokker insight, blow me."

Shame on me but a golden opportunity missed one night downrange when a Fokker landed, did a 180 and back taxied to park. We were cleared to back taxi after him and report the Fokker in sight. I kick myself every time and am reminded about it whenever I go there. Self critiquing fail.

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Aussie controller in Kuwait last night was on a roll.

Kuwait: Emirates328 maintain mach .80

Emirates: We are maintaining .70

Kuwait: I understand that, but if you don't accelerate to .80 you will have an EA6 up your APU.

Kuwait: ****25 say mach.

25: .70

Kuwait: ****17 say mach.

17: .85

25: Kuwait, we can push it up to .82

Kuwait: SOLD! To the man in the funny hat! ***25 accellerate and maintain .82 break break ***17 slow and maintain .82

Maybe not as funny when you read it second hand, but he was giving us some good laughs.

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  • 2 months later...

UAV holding out to follow a KingAir on final, UAV has picked up their speed quite a bit in a descent.

UAV****37:"approach, how much longer do you need us to hold?"

Approach:"Standby sir, you'll be given a vector shortly, traffic you're follwing is blah blah blah speed indicates blah"

***37:"Copy no problem, we'll hit the brakes he'll fly right by"

-After being vectored to follow KingAir-

Approach: "Maverick37 contact tower."

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Two of my favorites from T-6's were one on cross country enroute to KEFD, the guy ahead of me was talking to approach:

Approach: Speck 92, Approach

Speck 92: Go ahead approach

Approach: Speck 92, we are having transmitter problems, will you give us a 5 count for us to check this transmitter?

Speck 92: Wilco.

Speck 92: 1.. ah ha ha.. 2 ah ha ha...

And as Wing during a Form Solo where the solo had a pressurization malfunction:

Alamo 21 was over pressurizing and was told by the IP flying wing over discrete to select RAM/DUMP on the Px controller. When the IP asked how the stud was doing He replied over uniform: "Alamo 1 is feeling better after the dump."

Edited by BamaPilot08
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  • 1 month later...

heard today, while sitting in the FARP...

Helicopter coming in to land on the runway, requests to exit at Taxiway Charlie.

Brit TWR: "Cleared to land RWY at Charlie"

about 15 seconds go by

Brit TWR: "XXX, as impressive as that was, you've just missed Charlie"

Helo: "Uh, I meant Delta"

Brit TWR: (Laughing in the background) "Roger, exit Delta"

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