Hey Duck,
Wish things were better, but they are the way they are. I've not been divorced myself but I have had at least 20 of my peers, subordinates, and superiors in my Army time. Here are my insights added to what has been posted and I hope that are helpful:
1) Do not date until after your divorce is finalized. Especially if you are subject to UCMJ (which it doesn't appear is the case for you now?) as it is still adultery, even if legally separated, until divorce is final. Even outside the UCMJ you do not want the other party to muddy the process with "evidence" as well. You probably already know this, but there have been some fairly senior folks that were blindsided by this. I had a spouse who was encouraging girls to make passes at her soon to be divorced husband so she could "win" at the divorce.
2) The divorce process will corrupt even the nicest people sometimes. There are people who will see her behavior and see her honestly as the victim due to having the toughest job in world. In their eyes, her actions are just a symptom of the duress the military life put on her. They will coach her to do irrational things. Another spouse was coached to claim physical threat and even violence to get restraining order for "points" in the divorce proceedings. When they found out that path would lead to a Lautenberg amendment discharge, no retirement to get 50%, and a much reduced income to siphon off of when the Soldier exited the Army, they complete recanted. Be prepared for insanity to ensue due to coaching to lawyers, friends, and others and protect yourself from whatever accusals may come your way.
3) Watch what you say, write, text, email, post, snapchat, instagram, facebook, myspace, charge to your card, etc... It is all subject to discovery and usable as leverage. If you don't want the whole world to see it, including your children, do not do it.
4) Hopefully you have a lawyer and they understand your wishes. Some lawyers are really good at "winning" and burying the spouse. Just make sure you see eye to eye on the outcomes you want. As others have said, if you need to change lawyers midstream - do it. The wrong lawyer can be more wrong than no lawyer. No lawyer is pretty bad.
5) As others have said -- find positive activities and people to surround yourself with. With one caveat, if you do need to vent about the process -- suggest doing that with someone that has some sort of client/patient privilege and is obliged not to share information with other parties.
Hope for a smooth path and tailwinds for you -- your posts have been very helpful in my move to the Air Force.