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Cosmo UPT stud/Cosmo F-15 pilot


Steve Davies

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  • 11 months later...
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Guest LocoF16

Had to reopen this thread because it's damn funny, and apparently there's a C-model dude out there that won Mr Virginia for this year. There's a pretty funny email going around the CAF that started with him asking all his bros to log on and vote for him. The subsequent chain of pain that's resulted has probably found it's way back to him already. I'm not gonna post the email here because it has alot of names attached to it, but one of the first to get the email was one "Major Giggy." I wonder what he thought of it...

Derive whatever lessons learned you want, kids. And no, I ain't posting a link to cosmo, go find it yourself.

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Sure..you fly 16's, but you still know how to take names out of an email, right?

Or has the automation fried your brain?

BENDY

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lazy...done.

BENDY

EDIT: I'll try to post the email after I get it all sanitized...loco's too lazy.

Or, it may just be too boring to bother, and I'll try and remember to mention that too.

Or, what would be really funny is not to sanitize it at all...kidding. Seriously.

Edited by Bender
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lazy...done.

BENDY

EDIT: I'll try to post the email after I get it all sanitized...loco's too lazy.

Or, it may just be too boring to bother, and I'll try and remember to mention that too.

Or, what would be really funny is not to sanitize it at all...kidding. Seriously.

Please post it. I'm a heavy guy in a fighter wing and my boss is an eagle guy and oh man, could I have fun with that.

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Here's the text of the original message, although the reply chain is more funny than the original email. Doesn't rank as high as the infamous "Lt MonkeySex" email in my book (and the chick was pretty hot, too), but still worth a chuckle.

Yes, you might think this is a little gay, but what the hell.

I was selected to be the Virginia Bachelor for Cosmos annual bachelor issue. They chose me for Virginia.

Each state has a bachelor and the winner is chosen by who gets the most online votes. The voting starts tonight at midnight (9 Oct at 12:00 AM) and ends on Thursday at 11:59 PM. There are only 3 days to get as many votes as possible and then the winner is chosen. The magazine comes out on the 16th of October and the winner is announced on the 18th.

I would appreciate you help by voting for me on the website. Here is the web

address: (you can view this at work)

https://subscribe.hearstmags.com/subscribe/...tan/11643\ <https://subscribe.hearstmags.com/subscribe/cosmopolitan/11643/>

You can vote 1 time per day per email address you have. Feel free to tell your friends if you are so inclined. Thanks for the help.

Spears, comments, Bullshit flags.all welcomed and expected for doing something like this.

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Since Bender’s too lazy to include some of the humorous forwards, here you go, compiled from the three separate email forwards I’ve received.

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You have to wonder for every C-model guy who outs himself like this, how many are still 'in the closet?' I imagine that these guys will keep doing this act until they finally put the Zamboni in the Boneyard. Some stuff just never gets old...

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Dude, this guy has balls. Unfortunately, these ego driven pretty boys give the E model community a bad name by association. Passing out man surveys to get guys to vote for him? Only a C-model driver would think of something like this. Thanks for the air support, you got my vote

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I hate being associated with C-model pilots......

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Wedge theory in action!!

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There's something not right with those eagle boys...

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Sorry dudes, but one of your young ones went Stupid - - again.... Please scroll up from the bottom - you just can't make this stuff up!! Am surprised this didn't hit the WS Bro net earlier...

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I had actually heard this story before, but I didn't know that the dude asked his own bros to vote for him!

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Most heinous Eagle buffoonery yet again. Pile ons all the way from UPT to Checkmate. The guys at Tyndall are looking forward to his IPUG . . . not sure why . . .

Yet again, we wonder, is it nature or nurture . . .

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Unbelievable. These guys are un-trainable!

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Normally I wouldn't forward anything derogatory about my own community, but I decided this might boost Detroit's morale. Heinous.

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I think you guys need to start doing some sort of screening down at Tyndall w/some of these guys so they don't drag your whole community down (again)...

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Just when I thought I could quit making h0m0 jokes about the Eagle guys...

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I'm throwing all my 71st shit away tonight......

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"Build bridges your whole life, and ..."

Hopefully IFF didn't fail this young captain somewhere along the way. More likely blinded by the Eagle aura. We're now adding this to the "don't" list in Wingman 101.

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I'm not saying to check your 6 around C-model guys or anything but if you've wondered about the gay jokes.....this email chain might explain a bit.

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Your beloved Eagle community will never get all the way BACK IN the closet with guys like this! Unbelievable... read from the bottom up for clarification.

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You've got to see this. I know I'm not a fighter pilot anymore, but there's nothing close to this gay going on in bombers. I actually threw up in mouth just now.

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WOW!

Dude do you really want to win if it is based on votes from dudes? If you win that means you are just H MO of the year. If you won and no fighter pilot ever heard about that is one thing. In fact I will ensure every girl I meet votes for someone else because I fear for your life on behalf of all Eagle bros everywhere. I think the 94th in protest of the sumpreme gayeteee of this is scoffing roll call in the Iron bar tomorrow as it has now been tainted by you and instead should have roll call here until each Ironman Eagle driver gets to kick you in the balls for fucking up their name.

Wait....I can win a pink IPOD? Disregard! Being an H Mo must be cool

Choke Yourself

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YGBSM! This is heinous!

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No, DOLLAR, I do not think this is a little gay at all.

It is obviously a purely heterosexual thing to do to ask a bunch of dudes to vote for you as bachelor of the year for cosmo magazine. I'm not sure how you figured anyone would think that was gay. It's unfortunate that I only get one vote per day.

Do I need to write a rule for everything, or can some things just go without saying?

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Wonder how he got the name Detroit?

Based on the e-mail chain, the original Cosmo dude's callsign is "Dollar" (see the post at the very bottom, which is the first one in the chain).

Mr Mayor, point of order.....replot!

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Un-f***ing-believable

AF Times article on Cosmo F-15 pilot

You'd think that if your name is being dragged through the mud in the fighter pilot community at the speed of e-mail, the best thing you could do is just shut your piehole. Apparently "Cosmo" doesn't seem to think so, he had plenty to say to the AF Enquirer, including:

As an F-15 pilot, Capt. Dustin Ripley is a powerful and intimidating foe in the skies. But if you play with his hair, he’ll “turn into a puddle.”

Fortunately, appearing in a salacious women’s mag didn’t cost this guy’s guy too much in the way of reputation. “All your buddies are gonna rip you a little bit,” Ripley said. “It’s all in good fun, and there were some pretty funny comments that got thrown around the ol’ e-mail chain from different buddies.”

Right, you've only been cited with reviving the pilot-on-crew-chief homosexual stigma that C model community might have one day overcome.

Simply stunning.

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Guest xtndr50boom

In his defense, he owns the world's "manliest microwave" right next to his better homes and garden cookbook. :rainbow:

Also nice to see he's never heard of warming up a motorcycle before riding, and that he doesn't wear a helmet.

Way to set the example, sir! :salut::rainbow:

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Did you catch the audition tape linked on that article?

He hasn't taken nearly enough sh*t for that! Why didn't he show them his hot pink flight suit while he was at it? (Edit: As a matter of fact he might just be a member of the Airworlf team.)

"Never talk to the media." - Rainman

Check. That was sadly very gay.

Edited by egochecks
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Guest Matt Damon

At first I was thinking that you all were being too hard on him (sts), for being in Cosmo. But then I saw that video, my opinion did a 180. And all I could think of was the hilarious situations that could arise from him making this video:

-What if some new guy to the SQ unknowingly walked into frame when he was giving his hero shot and the young Lt is like "WTF, are you doing?" "Oh no this is totally more manly then you think"

-What happens if he is captured and the bad guys get the video? That would make my cheeks red, and hard to dispute!

Anyway, in the end I hope he got laid a ton off of this Cosmo trip. Because that is the only way that I would be able to put up with all of the harassment and embarrassment that it would bring to my family.

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if some new guy to the SQ unknowingly walked into frame when he was giving his hero shot and the young Lt is like "WTF, are you doing?" "Oh no this is totally more manly then you think"

Who do you think the camera man was! Guarantee is was another eagle driver...I'm pretty sure a "Lead you are FLAMING" call should have been made in there somewhere.

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