Infamous Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 (edited) Here are my 2 favorites from OTS. We were marching to class, probably on the exact same sidewalk, and here comes this chubby major, with half his front shirt untucked. We were almost late so there is nothing to do but salute and say "Good Morning Sir!", he responds with no salute and a "Hi Guys!" Number 2 is the first day for the new batch of COT(OTS for Chaplains, Lawyers, Docs) after we'd been there 6-7 weeks. I enter the latrine and there is a new guy in there in a state of utter confusion. He has his canteen belt on upside down and is trying to get his canteen in there, being defeated by gravity each time. I helpfully point out that he has his belt on upside down, thus resolving the situation. 2 days later I see this dude in the hallway wearing LtCol rank. Hope he's better at being a surgeon than getting dressed. hahaha hilarious! I loved watching COT, they were awesome. I got saluted by a Major once while I was walking down the sidewalk, that was kinda funny haha. I thought it was funny that they had a maid service to clean their rooms every day and the yelling portion of the program was over in about 1 week... I just remembered another one. I was marching to the academic building and we walked past a Captain and Lt Col just staring at each other holding a salute in front of the dining facility. He was yelling "SIR! YOU HAVE TO DROP YOUR SALUTE AND THEN I CAN DROP MINE!!!" but the Lt Col was so scared he couldn't react so they held the salute for like 15 more awkward seconds while the Captain kept trying to explain how it works. One of them pissed me off though when I was changing the Flag Condition signs in all the buildings for weather. I was in the COT dorm building and a female LT was sitting at the CQ, she was talking to me asking me questions and she asked why she doesn't get to train with us because our "training looked more fun." Some Captain that was a lawyer said "He's just going to be a line officer, that's why they're in BOT (basic officer training) and we're in the professional careers of the Air Force." I wanted to punch that smug f***er in the face. So what class were you? I was in 10-06 Edited March 21, 2012 by Infamous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arg Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 KRT BX parking lot. Some chick with a med badge saluted two LM Contract Insructors because she "thought they were Thunderbird pilots." How she mistook two old fat bastards for Thunderbird pilots is beyond me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Infamous Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 KRT BX parking lot. Some chick with a med badge saluted two LM Contract Insructors because she "thought they were Thunderbird pilots." How she mistook two old fat bastards for Thunderbird pilots is beyond me. When in doubt... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 KRT BX parking lot. Some chick with a med badge saluted two LM Contract Insructors because she "thought they were Thunderbird pilots." How she mistook two old fat bastards for Thunderbird pilots is beyond me. To be fair, there's probably no eye exam to be a doctor. Some Captain that was a lawyer said "He's just going to be a line officer, that's why they're in BOT (basic officer training) and we're in the professional careers of the Air Force." I wanted to punch that smug f***er in the face. My almost-insatiable-desire-to-punch-a-noncombatant moment came 3 days in. We had been getting our balls busted all day by the TIs and our upperclass. Hadn't had anything to eat but baloney sandwiches and cereal the whole time. The intercom says "Captain xxxx, you're pizza is here." Ugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Some Captain that was a lawyer said "He's just going to be a line officer, that's why they're in BOT (basic officer training) and we're in the professional careers of the Air Force." That's when you say "That's funny, I thought the only reason anyone was a Lawyer in the USAF was because they did too shitty in Law school to compete in the civlian sector with the smart law students." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Palangi Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 That's when you say "That's funny, I thought the only reason anyone was a Lawyer in the USAF was because they did too shitty in Law school to compete in the civlian sector with the smart law students." Its the same as the old joke, "what do you call a guy who graduated first at Medical School? Doctor. What do you call the guy/gal who graduated last? Capt." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matmacwc Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Those who cannot do, teach; those who cannot teach, administrate; this who cannot administrate, coach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 To be fair, there's probably no eye exam to be a doctor. My almost-insatiable-desire-to-punch-a-noncombatant moment came 3 days in. We had been getting our balls busted all day by the TIs and our upperclass. Hadn't had anything to eat but baloney sandwiches and cereal the whole time. The intercom says "Captain xxxx, you're pizza is here." Ugh. ba·lo·ney 2 also bo·lo·ney (b-ln) Slang n. Nonsense. interj. Used to express disagreement or exasperation. bo·lo·gna (b-ln, -n, -ny) n. A seasoned smoked sausage made of mixed meats, such as beef, pork, and veal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ram Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 ba·lo·ney 2 also bo·lo·ney (b-ln) Slang n. Nonsense. interj. Used to express disagreement or exasperation. bo·lo·gna (b-ln, -n, -ny) n. A seasoned smoked sausage made of mixed meats, such as beef, pork, and veal. douche (doosh) n. Someone who gives a shit about the difference between balogna and baloney. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceman Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Mmmmmm... bologna... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 Those who cannot do, teach; those who cannot teach, administrate; this who cannot administrate, coach. Slight variation: Those who can, do Those who can't do, teach Those who can't teach, teach PE Those who can't teach PE, teach PME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shortbus Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 douche (doosh) n. Someone who gives a shit about the difference between balogna and baloney. Well played. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Freshwater Posted March 22, 2012 Share Posted March 22, 2012 douche (doosh) n. Someone who gives a shit about the difference between balogna and baloney. haha literally saw that one coming from a mile away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted March 29, 2012 Share Posted March 29, 2012 And yet ANOTHER Douche... "When he lived in Las Vegas, Jacob R. Cruze used fake military documents to obtain license plates reserved for wounded Nevada war veterans." http://www.lvrj.com/...-143287936.html "The charge in Virginia pertaining to a fictitious military ID, in Cruze's case, carries a fine of up to $100,000 and/or two to 10 years in prison. That's a lot more than the $399 in traffic ticket fines he paid in Las Vegas for illegally driving with Purple Heart plates." This is why I love being from VA! I'm from the area, and with the amount of military personnel (active, reserve, ret.) in the area, the Loudoun County Sheriff's office doesn't take these incidents lightly (especially since many of them are veterans themselves). 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeloDude Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 That's when you say "That's funny, I thought the only reason anyone was a Lawyer in the USAF was because they did too shitty in Law school to compete in the civlian sector with the smart law students." Believe it or not (and to be fair), I know a couple of the the JA types, and they told me that within the last couple of years it's been much tougher to get selected for AF JA. The reason given is the overage of folks attending/graduating from law school, poor economy, etc. I'm not saying the AF is getting the #1 grad of a top law school, but I don't think it's as bad as it once was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PapaJu Posted March 30, 2012 Share Posted March 30, 2012 Believe it or not (and to be fair), I know a couple of the the JA types, and they told me that within the last couple of years it's been much tougher to get selected for AF JA. The reason given is the overage of folks attending/graduating from law school, poor economy, etc. I'm not saying the AF is getting the #1 grad of a top law school, but I don't think it's as bad as it once was. My understanding is that it's generally been tough to get accepted simply because the military isn't taking in a ton of JAGs every year. Oh, and both of our posts probably warrant a Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M2 Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I posted two AFOSI reports on the BaseOps SIPRNET Intellipedia page that deal with individuals posing/impersonating as military... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBock Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 And another, although just a lowly "LT", not a two star... https://www.facebook.com/pages/1LT-Michael-Wilson/260504527380439 This was by far my favorite post: "so the FBI and Cid just stopped by, let me know there's a bunch of jelly pogs and skanky dependents all in a fuss online over my awesomeness, wanted to make sure I'm OK, then the Pres called and asked me to reconsider my retirement and accept a new commission as a Maj had to tell potus "niggs, I'm good, but thanks too many s***bags in the army now " then he offered me the moh had to decline that too, if I got a medal for all my badassery I wouldn't be able to put my blues ob due to excessive weight of my rack, any ways, eat a d*** haters" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mp5g Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 And another, although just a lowly "LT", not a two star... https://www.facebook...260504527380439 This was by far my favorite post: "so the FBI and Cid just stopped by, let me know there's a bunch of jelly pogs and skanky dependents all in a fuss online over my awesomeness, wanted to make sure I'm OK, then the Pres called and asked me to reconsider my retirement and accept a new commission as a Maj had to tell potus "niggs, I'm good, but thanks too many s***bags in the army now " then he offered me the moh had to decline that too, if I got a medal for all my badassery I wouldn't be able to put my blues ob due to excessive weight of my rack, any ways, eat a d*** haters" I don't know, I think this one can definitely contend even though he didn't write it: Yea thanks for your service to ######ing Ebay where you bought the uniform bitch... The only place you have served was in your boyfriend bedroom where he shot a load in your mouth and called it a war zone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 That has to be trolling. Noone could actually say "I love saluting the flag in the morning while all you poopdicks are still sleeping safe in your beds." and be serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Grind Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stolen-valor-steves-exiles/260880083978562 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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