Dupe Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Last friday, I got the opportunity to fly in the Good Year blimp. After a long discussion about dirigible technology and how to pick up chicks at bars, the pilot exclaimed "So you guys are the reason people keep constantly asking me if the airship gets folded!" It turns out they really do fly it at 35 mph indicated when they take it cross-country. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hacker Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Last friday, I got the opportunity to fly in the Good Year blimp. After a long discussion about dirigible technology and how to pick up chicks at bars, the pilot exclaimed "So you guys are the reason people keep constantly asking me if the airship gets folded!" It turns out they really do fly it at 35 mph indicated when they take it cross-country. Excellent work, my friend. Next stop: dolphin trainers and professional bowlers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
usaf36031 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 (edited) A buddy of mine was getting away with being a backup linebacker for the Miami hurricanes for a few hours while bar hopping in Austin a few years back...until we ran into the REAL University of Texas Defense in a bar and a chick asked if them if we knew each other. We left that bar quickly. But remember, if you're ever backed into a corner, "SpecOps fighter pilot" always gets the job done. Edited May 18, 2009 by usaf36031 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HercDude Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 But remember, if you're ever backed into a corner, "SpecOps fighter pilot" always gets the job done. Real SpecOps fighter pilots, like me, would never let you get away with that. You can never tell anyone in public that you are SpecOps fighter pilot - only on your youtube page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf424 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Real SpecOps fighter pilots, like me, would never let you get away with that. You can never tell anyone in public that you are SpecOps fighter pilot - only on your youtube page. You can use the super secret SpecOps fighter pilot handshake if you run into someone who is a poser. (that thread never gets old) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donkey Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Anyone every try Professional 9-Volt Battery Tester? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf424 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 What about "Monoped Footwear Engineer"? Building shoes for poor people with one foot doesn't really roll of the tongue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toro Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 ....doesn't really roll of the tongue. Try, "I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination." If you can get through that sentence in a bar, you probably haven't been drinking enough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf424 Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 Try, "I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination." That's good, but I don't think the ladies would appreciate that as much.. (/sarcasm) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cell Dweller Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Try: Exotic automobile importer Contemporary Folk Art Dealer Private Investigator (sts) Ice Cream Distributor Also this line always helps: "If you are nice to me, I might let you take me home." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
war007afa Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I always ask in return: "What's the right answer?" That or: "Tell your fat friend over there that she can buy me a pitcher if she wants to." No shame in having a fat chick buy your beer, boys. Let her buy all of it for you that she wants to. Just remember you can always bail at the end of the evening with: "Thanks for the beer. I have to go, my wife is leaving now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawman Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Im an architect, it pays the bills. Really, it's only a side thing for my true passion. I work with retards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MKopack Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Im an architect, it pays the bills. Really, it's only a side thing for my true passion. I work with retards. Isn't that a little politically incorrect? Mary Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Davies Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 (edited) Two known to have gone down well: 1) Diver working for the Dolphin Alert Rescue Team (DART), responsible for going out and rescuing Dolphins that get caught in the nasty fishermens' nets! 2) North Sea diver, diving into the abyss to weld gas pipes on the sea floor Edited May 20, 2009 by Steve Davies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Davies Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 "Bullshit, youre not a pilot." Apparently not that uncommon in Vegas - another fellow who frequents these boards was unable to convince a chick that he was a fighter pilot. ISTR that she did believe he was a professional bowler, however. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I personally like to state that I run a funeral home... this usually hooks em at first because 1- funeral directors make great money and 2- what's a better topic starter than dead people. When pressed for more details about my job I usually say that I don't actually run a funeral home, I mostly just sweep up and vacuum. Always good for a laugh to see the change in expression and attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolf424 Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 Two known to have gone down well: 1) Diver working for the Dolphin Alert Rescue Team (DART), responsible for going out and rescuing Dolphins that get caught in the nasty fishermens' nets! Used a version of that this weekend while running wingman for my friend. Worked like a charm. Conversation of the night: Chick 1: That a really interesting career choice! My Friend: Yeah, it pays the bills I guess. Chick 2: I didn't even know jobs like that existed. It's almost unbelievable. Me: Yeah, I never know if I should tell people, because most don't believe us. So I just go with something else like, I fly planes or something. Chick 1: Haha, yeah, but we would've never believed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brabus Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 I think it's hilarious that chicks will believe shit like DART, but not that you're a pilot. I wonder why it's so unbelievable to be a pilot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Day Man Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 because janitors and animal masturbators use that line when they go to vegas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B*D*A Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 because janitors and animal masturbators use that line when they go to vegas. Ha, I think you just added two to the list. My buddy likes to use Traveling Librarian. You travel the country implementing your system of book organization which of course is superior to Dewey decimal. One night I used this line and this chic says, "BS, we've already met the town librarian, he's over there" and points to my bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jinnyt_00 Posted May 26, 2009 Share Posted May 26, 2009 Professional Deep sea welder Blimp folder work wel l I think it's hilarious that chicks will believe shit like DART, but not that you're a pilot. I wonder why it's so unbelievable to be a pilot. Its unbelievable because there are douche bags out there that claim to be a pilot and make the come up with worst stories. I talked to a dude this weekend that claimed to be a eagle pilot at Vandenburg. He also claimed to have taken a staff job at Scott because the Raptor was just too hard. If his story wasn't bad enough his goofy ass USAF hat in desert camo hat in a bar sure gave him away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brabus Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Its unbelievable because there are douche bags out there that claim to be a pilot and make the come up with worst stories. Man, now I actually feel kind of bad for blimp folders. They get no respect because of us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summe32c Posted May 27, 2009 Share Posted May 27, 2009 Professional Deep sea welder Blimp folder work wel l Its unbelievable because there are douche bags out there that claim to be a pilot and make the come up with worst stories. I talked to a dude this weekend that claimed to be a eagle pilot at Vandenburg. He also claimed to have taken a staff job at Scott because the Raptor was just too hard. If his story wasn't bad enough his goofy ass USAF hat in desert camo hat in a bar sure gave him away. Had a guy tap me on the shoulder and ask me if I was a TOMCAT pilot because I was wearing a tomcat shirt. (it was a shirt for the final flight in sept. 2006 mind you..in big bold letters) I replied with "no but I fly competition kites" his response was "oh i was just wondering because I saw your shirt, I fly f-15's" this "incident" occured in 08' If he was an eagle guy..he attention to detail was pitiful. great occupations: jet ski rental associate (perfect when I live at the beach) ergonomic chair tester My personal favorite : The Main Stevedore (ship loader) -summers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outbreak Posted May 28, 2009 Share Posted May 28, 2009 "I sell beer and beer accessories. Kinda like Hank Hill, but I travel all over the country and sell beer instead of propane." It works great with bartenders and its not even a total lie. A friend of mine is working up a prototype for some new bar technology in his spare time and I'm a "freelance salesman" for it. I've actually gotten a few bar owners interested in it, but I digress. Its an easy job to bullshit about if you hang around bars enough (which most of us do) and its obscure enough that they don't ask many questions anyway. Doesn't work as well when you have to come up with something for the whole crew. Also, when you're in Utah, "I'm not Mormon" works wonders. I tried it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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