Traveling pet peeves!

[Techsan]

I just got back from Christmas vacation visiting family in Texas. My wife and I loaded up the car with the kids to make the 20 hour drive. I couldn't get over how much people in CA suck at driving on highways! Do people not know that the left lane is for passing, not cruising. The speed limit on I-5 is 70, and I was only averaging 60 because of all the morons in the left lane. That has to be one of my biggest pet peaves on the road.

I also recently flew commercially and couldn't get over just how rude the f-ing TSA security folks are. This one chick with tight ass pants, creating a muffintop-like effect with her love handles, told me "Take off your jacket!" Not, can you take your jacket off. Or, sir, can you please remove your jacket. I couldn't believe it! I then qualified for the advanced screening option where they proceeded to frisk me and empty out my whole carry on bag. I thought that if I used my mil ID that I may be able to bypass the additional screening harrassment. I'm just glad I don't fly commercially on a regular basis. Oh yeah, the airline mangaged to lose my luggage on the trip there. Sweet!

Anybody else have any travel troubles this holiday season?

[Vandal]

I have yet to meet a TSA dunce that treats anyone with any kind of respect. All of those assholes are on a power trip as they "protect" us from terrorists by digging through our shit. Supposedly if you use your mil ID at check in you get freed from the extra federally mandated groping; that is a crap shoot though.

My personal pet peeve is the people who, as you're loading the plane talk on their phones from the line to get on, down the jetway, onto the plane then get pissed when the flight attendant/stewardess (what ever happened to the hot chicks on planes?) tells him to turn off the phone.

I also hate the pre-flight safety briefing, I for one don't hold out much hope for survival if I am in a pressurized metal tube that goes hurtling into the ground. If you can't figure out the seat belts on your own then you deserve to have your ass thrown around the cabin in turbulence.

[M2]

Reminds me of the story told by the Homeland Defense guy at the JSOU Terrorism Course...he had a letter permitting him to carry his duty weapon aboard the plane, but the TSA inspectors wouldn't let him take a set of fingernail clippers onboard. He noted he was carrying the weapon, to which the TSA person replied, "But you have a permit for it, you don't have a permit to take nail clippers aboard!"

As for the pre-flight briefs, have you ever actually seen anyone paying attention to one? I will actually read the safety card and be sure I know where the nearest exits are, but beyond that I have flown enough to what to do if I even get the chance. But you are right, you'd be lucky to survive the impact...

Cheers! M2

[Hacker]

I just traveled on the Eurostar and TGV trains this weekend. Never had the chance to travel much by train, but I will say that the travelling experience was SOOOOO EASY compared to all of that TSA airline sh*t.

Plus, trains that go 150 mph are pretty cool.

[osulax05]

By far the most annoying thing to me is people who try to get huge suitcases to fit in the overhead bin. They then complain that it is "carry on size". If the airlines really cracked down on people with carry on luggage that is too big, it would definitely make boarding and exiting the a/c much easier and might even create more on time flights.

Edited December 30, 2007 by osulax05

[Guest Bender]

When I worked at the munitions directorate, we were issued memos that explain that our baggage may contain trace amounts of explosive materials.

I never cared to show that letter ahead of time, nor was I ever attempting check luggage that I had transfered anything onto...but, wouldn't that have been fun!

"You see, this is all just a misunderstanding...I have a memo!"

Although, with as much griping as people do about TSA, I for some reason, still don't feel the need to show up to the airport hours ahead of time.

I remember driving accross into the eastern timezone to catch a flight once...totally forgot about the hour lost. I show up to the desk thinking I'm an hour early and the chick was like, "Don't you think you're cutting it a bit close?" "What, I have an hour." "Where you coming from?" "Oh shit." "I'll hurry." "Thank you."

Through security in what must have been a record...still made the plane, not that I cared...back then I wasn't ever going anyplace that couldn't wait for me until tommorrow. Ahh...them were the days.

BENDY

[Guest SATCOM]

When I worked at the munitions directorate, we were issued memos that explain that our baggage may contain trace amounts of explosive materials.

We were never issued such letters (our bags would contact C-4/Plastique/Dynamite/PETN) and it routinely caused the extra "anal retention" from TSA.

Earlier this year while flying commericial for a TDY, a TSA operative told me to remove my shoes (which I knew to contain NO metal). I said that the sign three meters back says "Recommend that shoes be removed for screening", and that there was a difference in the meaning of the words mandatory and recommended."

He didn't find my comments to be accurate or humorous....

Edited December 30, 2007 by SATCOM

[Guest Bender]

We were never issued such letters (our bags would contact C-4/Plastique/Dynamite/PETN) and it routinely caused the extra "anal retention" from TSA.

Maybe there a "an incident" or something. I am happy to report that I did not cause this incident. EDIT: But, sounds like you guys probably did! ;)

Mandatory, recommended...sometimes I get confused too. Foutunately for me, there always seem to be someone right around to clear things up for me. :D

BENDY

Edited December 30, 2007 by Bender

[gimmeaplane]

My traveling pet peeve: fat people. So fat they go straight to the flight attendant (acting all sheepish) to get a seatbelt extension before they even try to sit down. If they know they're morbidly obsese--and I can't imagine how that would come as a surprise--they should buy two seats or upgrade to business class.

I hate that shit.

[Techsan]

One of my favorite pictures...

[HuggyU2]

Just travelled this week.

I-5: too many HGV/18 wheelers. I'd like to know why I-5 is only two lanes each way. It's the only good north/south artery on the west coast.

SFO airport: the TSA folks look like something out of a Wes Craven horror flick. It was a freak show (typical for anything in San Fran, though). How about grooming standards, thank you?

As for the shoes: correct me if I'm wrong, but as of last year, it is now mandatory to remove them.

[Crog]

By far the most annoying thing to me is people who try to get huge suitcases to fit in the overhead bin. They then complain that it is "carry on size". If the airlines really cracked down on people with carry on luggage that is too big, it would definitely make boarding and exiting the a/c much easier and might even create more on time flights.

When told by the flight attendant/crew that the mega-Samsonite just won't fit, the inevitable reply:

"Well, it fit on the last airplane!" (really, I didn't know you were connecting from a C-5?!)

My favorite: Irate female/business-type passenger demands to see the Captain during boarding

Capt: "What's the problem, Ma'am?"

Pax: "(Angrily) I was forced to check my carry-on, and I just saw the baggage handler drop it! It contains my very valuable crown jewels/crystal/Jarvik heart/etc.....!"

Capt: "OK, Ma'am, can you describe the bag? I'll (get the FO to) check on it"

Pax: "Oh yes! (genuinely excited), you can't miss it!.....It's a black Travel Pro!"

[Guest Matt Damon]

My traveling pet peeve: fat people. So fat they go straight to the flight attendant (acting all sheepish) to get a seatbelt extension before they even try to sit down. If they know they're morbidly obese--and I can't imagine how that would come as a surprise--they should buy two seats or upgrade to business class.

I hate that shit.

Oh, man. Just this last weekend I was flying Southwest, you know to see if there are any inappropriately dressed young women on board, but instead I see a whale of a woman and her dumb-as-a-post husband. Well of course she was required to buy two plane tickets and received priority boarding because it was a full flight and what if she couldn't find two seats together? She then takes my prime seating area in the front row on the right side of the jet. So I sat behind her and watched as the plane slowly filled, thinking 'shit, Jabba the Hut is going to make two people miss their flight...

Thankfully there were enough seats but still I had to listen to them talk and argue on the whole flight about the dumbest shit you could ever imagine.

[M2]

I just traveled on the Eurostar and TGV trains this weekend. Never had the chance to travel much by train, but I will say that the travelling experience was SOOOOO EASY compared to all of that TSA airline sh*t.

Plus, trains that go 150 mph are pretty cool.

Yep, I do miss the EuroStar. The Brussels to London run was a blast! Actually, for short trips I almost like it more than flying commercial! A lot more comfortable, you can easily get up and walk around, the scenery is a helluva lot better. Too bad fast trains have not caught on in the States...

This past April, A modified version of the TGV set a new record for rail travel of of 574 KMH (or about 357 MPH)! There is a longer video of it here.

Cheers! M2

[Guest Boom]

When TSA forces you to put your all aluminum laptop in their ing dirty bins to scan it (can't put the laptop sleeve on the bottom anymore, even though it's going through an xray machine) and when it jostles on and off the rollers and scratches the shit out of the bottom of it.

TSA and their GED's.

[JarheadBoom]

I also recently flew commercially and couldn't get over just how rude the f-ing TSA security folks are.

...

I thought that if I used my mil ID that I may be able to bypass the additional screening harrassment.

I won't even get started on the TSA. Decent idea, piss-poor execution.

I've tried using the mil ID as well... to no effect.

Pet peeves:

- Mr. & Mrs. 8-pieces-of-carryon-luggage.

- The FA's who stand there zip-lip as they smash/grind/force their shit into the overheads.

- People traveling in coach who don't shower.

- The jackass in the window seat of a 3-abreast row who insists on getting into his carryon (which is, of course, in the overhead) 5 times in a 2hr flight.

- Parents who don't stop their demon-spawn from kicking the seatback in front of them.

[Whitman]

Reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld's standup.

"Short heavy set woman up front with skin tight uniform, that's your first line of defense. You want the pants so tight the flap in front of the zipper has pulled itself open, you can see those metal tangs hanging on for dear life!"

"Then you got this genius sitting at X-ray security, this einstein has chosen to sit in front of an x-rays for 14hrs a day. I've looked in that thing and I can't make out one object. He's standing there........what is that a hair dryer with a scope on it? Ya, I'm good with that. Some sort of bowling ball with a candle on it, keep it coming, don't wanna hold up the line."

http://youtube.com/watch?v=qY5AVBSjTAQ

Seinfeld sums up airport security and life pretty well, as usual.

[Vertigo]

Had to join in on this one- been lurking for a few weeks now.

Deployed for an AEF rotation to ORAT last year. Our CC decides she wants everyone to wear their DCUs on the commercial flights to Norfolk before we get on the rotator. We check our weapons and excess bags in, receive our boarding passes and head to the gate. Every single one of our 15 man team got pulled aside for the "special treatment". Umm hello? We're heading to Iraq! Joe Unabomber over there in his hoodie mumbling something about the apocalypse just breezed through the TSA checkpoint but the freedom fighters have to disrobe to our jockies to make sure we don't endanger the flight.

[Ram]

My traveling pet peeve: fat people. So fat they go straight to the flight attendant (acting all sheepish) to get a seatbelt extension before they even try to sit down. If they know they're morbidly obsese--and I can't imagine how that would come as a surprise--they should buy two seats or upgrade to business class.

I hate that shit.

Yeah, these are the same people that like to sit with the armrest up.

I was traveling to Charlotte for a wedding and this fat woman sat next to me. Just as she sat down, she said "hi there...do you mind if I put the armrest up?" I said "yes."

I thought that was going to be the end of our interaction, but she asked me why I wouldn't put the armrest up.

In my answer I was much nicer than I thought I'd be: "I paid for my space and you paid for yours. The armrest is down to make sure you don't end up taking up space you didn't pay for."

It was a pretty quiet flight.

[outbreak]

I had what I thought was two obnoxious youngsters and a mother that couldn't control her young sitting behind me. Turns out it was one well behaved kid and an obnoxious woman and her equally annoying kid. She was making the stupid noises that I thought were coming from the other kid. As for the airport security nazis, they must have Scotty in that x-ray tunnel beaming my shit out. I lose a lighter every time i fly, but they never ask about it. it just disappears. Then they harass me about 2oz of toothpaste in a tube marked 8oz and a couple bags of Kona my folks brought back from hawaii. The bastards took the toothpaste but let me keep the coffee.

[Mike Honcho]

This one's always fun: I carry on a nalgene to have some water to drink and not pay out the ass for the bottles they gouge you on. The TSA goons always say something about it until I point out it's EMPTY and just a piece of plastic. The blank stares are almost worth the price of a ticket.

[osulax05]

I hate the garbage that comes out of people's mouth in the gate area after any sort of announcment from the gate agents:

Gate Agent #1: "We are going to have to switch crews due to the fogged in conditions at CLT that this crew can't fly into."

Joe Schmuckatelli: "You mean these pilots aren't qualified? They just said these pilots aren't qualified to fly the plane!"

OSULAX: "Sir, all pilots have WX Cat's that restrict the type of WX they can fly into"

Joe Schmuckatelli: "No she said he wasn't qualified"

OSULAX: "Have a great flight!"

or

Gate Agent #2: "Announcing departure time change #2 for Flight 69 to DTW, departure time is now 1215.

Sally Rottencrotch: "Great more delays"

OSULAX: "Ma'am, that is actually a good thing, they just moved up the departure time by 20 min."

Sally Rottencrotch: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh"

[HerkFE]

I hate the garbage that comes out of people's mouth in the gate area after any sort of announcment from the gate agents:

Gate Agent #1: "We are going to have to switch crews due to the fogged in conditions at CLT that this crew can't fly into."

Joe Schmuckatelli: "You mean these pilots aren't qualified? They just said these pilots aren't qualified to fly the plane!"

OSULAX: "Sir, all pilots have WX Cat's that restrict the type of WX they can fly into"

Joe Schmuckatelli: "No she said he wasn't qualified"

OSULAX: "Have a great flight!"

or

Gate Agent #2: "Announcing departure time change #2 for Flight 69 to DTW, departure time is now 1215.

Sally Rottencrotch: "Great more delays"

OSULAX: "Ma'am, that is actually a good thing, they just moved up the departure time by 20 min."

Sally Rottencrotch: "Ohhhhhhhhhhh"

2

I can't stand sitting around waiting to get on a plane listening to all the dumbshits who don't know a 172 from the space shuttle and their quippy little comments.

[PirateAF]

My wife and I promised each other that we would NEVER travel with an infant...whenever we do have kids. A recent USAir flight from CLT to SFO with like 14 separate wailing little gremlins, including one that wouldn't stop kicking my f'ing seat, convinced us that common courtesy to other human beings would preclude us from subjecting others to one of the worst flights I've ever sat through. (And I've been on a KC-135 rotator for 12+ hours!!)

Thankfully I've never had to share my seat with an obese passengers. Ick.

And my opinion of TSA? Don't get me started.

[bomber1]

My wife and I promised each other that we would NEVER travel with an infant...whenever we do have kids. A recent USAir flight from CLT to SFO with like 14 separate wailing little gremlins, including one that wouldn't stop kicking my f'ing seat, convinced us that common courtesy to other human beings would preclude us from subjecting others to one of the worst flights I've ever sat through.

Wait till you have children and have to fly cross crountry. Sometimes there's no way around it.