Advice with parents?

[Guest ***JET***]

Hello everyone I am new to Baseops and I have been a long time reader. I find this website to be one of the greatest resources anyone can come across if one is to pursue a flying career in the military. Kudos to everyone for the great work!

I need some advice from those who wish to reply. I am currently a freshman in college studying electrical engineering. I have previous college experience with sophomore credits, but because I changed schools and majors, I am now a freshman….again. I chose engineering because I was involved with an engineering club in high-school. The subject really interested me. But, the real reason why I majored in engineering is because of my mom. Since my eighth grade year, I had a military flying career planned out. I was really excited to pursue this career as the next guy, but my mom on the other hand was not so enthused. My mom didn’t want to risk losing me to war and such you know how mothers can be. I was sitting in class one day (pre-calc) and I was thinking about what I was doing here, did I really want to major in engineering? No, I wanted to be a pilot and recently I have been trying to talk with my mom about going for my wings once again. I am having difficulties with engineering now, and I don’t want to risk my GPA doing something that would harm my chances of going to UPT. My major choice when I was planning my military career was either going to be Communications or Political Science. I understand how competitive you need to be to get UPT, (I heart search button) and I wanted to study something that I would enjoy and do very well in. Now that I am trying to break the news to my mother, she seems to keep pushing me off from the conversation. It really bothers me that she doesn’t want to hear me out about my lifetime dream. I want her to know how passionate I am about flying in the military. I just don’t know how to explain things to her. I have one student loan that I will have to start repaying before I graduate (because I transferred) and my grandfather recently cosigned another loan for this school year. The loans may also have something to do with it. I’m sorry if this sounds vague, but I don’t know how my mom really feels because she won’t talk to me about it. I just need some basic advice to get the topic going smoothly. I know they say that once you are 18 you can make your own choices and I respect this rule, but I just want my mom to understand what I want to do with my life. I greatly appreciate any responses.

(Note: I am 19, and currently not enrolled in ROTC)

[Toro]

Unfortunately, I’ve got your first answer, so here goes. Don’t take any of this personally, because it’s all sincere.

First off, present your topic in a more coherent matter. Seriously. Your entire topic could have been summed up with the sentence, “How can I convince my mother that being an Air Force pilot is what is best for me?” I don’t care where this epiphany was bestowed upon you, just get to the point.

That being said, let’s get to the matter at hand…

“My mom didn’t want to risk losing me to war”

Have your mom read anything about recent conflicts and she’ll realize that an extremely low number of pilots have been lost in combat - this isn’t Vietnam. That aside, tell your mom that you’re more likely to be killed driving into work than you are flying an AF sortie.

“you know how mothers can be”

I sure do…my mom loves what I do. She could not be more proud of me for the job I do, and she takes every opportunity to brag to everybody she knows about me. Mothers are mothers – I’m sure yours would do the same if you starting flying.

“I don’t want to risk my GPA doing something that would harm my chances of going to UPT. My major choice when I was planning my military career was either going to be Communications or Political Science.”

Okay…I’m totally missing something here – how are your thinking that either of those two choices will harm your GPA? If you can cook toast and count your toes you should be able to be a comm major…this is coming from a guy who was a comm major.

The loans may also have something to do with it

What loans? Do you realize that when you enter the military, your loan interest is deferred?

“Now that I am trying to break the news to my mother, she seems to keep pushing me off from the conversation.

Sack up and grow a pair…seriously, if you want to be a pilot, you’ll need them. Push your mother into a corner and make her talk to you about it. You want to fly jets and potentially kill people for a living and you can’t even talk to your mom? Yikes.

[Buddy Spike]

Pics of mom? (or sister [AS REQUIRED])

[hindsight2020]

My advice to you as someone who spent 7 years of his life getting engineering degrees to end up a pilot is, change majors. You are on the correct train of thought by safeguarding your GPA. The AF doesn't care about technical degrees or what school they came from, they care about you having a degree and having a good GPA. As long as you have a pulse and a good GPA, categorizing as a pilot on ROTC shouldn't be a problem (medical pending of course).

I'll let ya do a search on your own about how much "piloting" you'll actually do as an AF pilot in some airframes/communities.

Good luck in college and whatever you end up doing.

[Spartacus]

Dude,

Toro is right! Grow a set! I was in almost your exact same situation. I wanted to do engineering but found out that technical degrees didn't matter so I did poli sci. Sure it's a piece of crap degree that won't get you anywhere in and of itself but it's a degree and that is all that matters. And from my experience in ROTC those who were doing the harder degrees didn't do so well in ROTC because they couldn't spend the time at the Det and activities that they should have been to stand out. (Just my experience though) Those who did easier degrees were at the Det more getting seen by the cadre and they tended to be the ones who got ENJJPT or whatever they wanted. You have to decide if you want to have a technical degree that MIGHT make it harder for you to put in the time in ROTC or if you want an easier one that will allow you to be the go to guy.

My Mom gave me a lot of crap about the military too. You will probably never convince her that this is best for you. You need to make a decision and stick with it and at some future time she will be proud of you like Toro said and will at least come to terms with what you are doing. She is your mother and they tend to worry a little too much. I am an only child and that made it really hard for my Mom to accept what I was doing because all she could think about was me getting shot down. Highly unlikely, but she doesn't understand that. Anyway, grow a set, become a man, and make your own decisions or else you will resent your Mom down the road for not doing what you wanted to do. Don't get to that point. It is your life and you need to do what you want to do with it because you are the one who has to sit in the cubicle or in the cockpit. Not your mom. It's your choice.

[Bishop]

What loans? Do you realize that when you enter the military, your loan interest is deferred?

Whoa.. I never knew this how long has that been in effect?

Is this what oyu are talking about?

http://www.flyingsquadron.com/forums/index...hl=college+loan

I did come across a thread I started about 4 years ago that discusses ROTC paying for your School, but this is a little bit different subject

Edited November 15, 2007 by Bishop

[VFR800]

You can request a military deferment. All payments will be deferred but interest will still accrue. You can also use the SCRA to get the interest rate reduced to 6% if you received the loan prior to entering the military.

Edited November 15, 2007 by VFR800

[Guest EN_STUD]

I was able to defer my Stafford Loan payments AND interest for 36 months. If you plan on doing this, make sure you consolidate your loan to lock in an interest rate before you defer it. Read here, pg 2. http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/attachme...8_deferment.pdf

[BADFNZ]

I was able to defer my Stafford Loan payments AND interest for 36 months. If you plan on doing this, make sure you consolidate your loan to lock in an interest rate before you defer it. Read here, pg 2. http://studentaid.ed.gov/students/attachme...8_deferment.pdf

It says if you are "active duty during a war", which isn't the same as deployed. Did I read that right? So basically anyone on active duty right now can defer for 36 months w/o interest being accrued?

[HerkDerka]

1) Don't major in something just because your mom wants you too. If your head's not in it, you'll most likely end up flunking. Study something you enjoy.

2) Your life is not your mom's life.

3) If being a pilot is your dream and you never pursue it, you will regret it for the rest of your life.

I'm not sure if your mom is paying for your college at all, but it doesn't matter either way. If she is paying part of your tuition, you'd be better off paying your own way to being a pilot than to live off her money and be what she wants you to be. If you go that road, you will be regretting in when you are an old fart engineer wondering what your life could have been had you decided to become a pilot.

If you chose to become a pilot and are successful in that endeavor, your mother has no reason to not be proud of you. If she isn't, then she has problems.

Pursue your dream, not mom's.

HD

Edited November 15, 2007 by HerkDerka

[Guest salokin]

Just called my bank, they said you have to be "deployed/mobilized." Being active duty alone isn't enough, even though it's during war time.

[Bishop]

Just called my bank, they said you have to be "deployed/mobilized." Being active duty alone isn't enough, even though it's during war time.

In reading the thread I posted, it appears that according to that legislation, any debts (well not all but most apparently) that you have before entering military service is subject to 6% loan interest, I dunno if im reading that right, but apparently thats not what Toro was talking about so im still confused by this defferment thing as well.. and now some people are giving mixed experiences.. perhaps this should be made into a different thread?

[FallingOsh]

The AF doesn't care about technical degrees or what school they came from, they care about you having a degree and having a good GPA

Unless you're concerned about an ROTC scholarship. Maybe it's changed in the past two years, but my class was the last to have any non-tech scholarships. That being said, I completely agree with choosing a major you enjoy. Many of my friends would've rather paid for college than be a 5 year engineering major.

[Guest]

First, tell her you want to enlist in the Army. Then when you tell her what you really want to do, she will be relieved.

[brabus]

My brother got a full scholarship last year w/ a Psych major, so non-tech is definitely doable, but not easy. Either way, doing engineering just so you can get a scholarship fails 95% of the time. In my 4 yrs I don't think I saw more than maybe 2 people make it through commissioning and an engineering degree that did it for the scholarship. Sure the scholarship may have been an incentive for the engineers, but the majority of those who made it did engineering b/c they wanted to for reasons other than just a scholarship.

[Guest ***JET***]

I want to thank everyone for their posts. Ha! You guys are right I need a pair. I'll let everyone know how things go within the next few days.

P.S. Sorry for the long post. I'll keep everything short and sweet next time.

[Guest C-21 Pilot]

I hate to say it...

....but any dude who claims he knows he "needs to grow a pair" is definately in the wrong line of work.

[LT4Life]

I think you should listen to your mother. It worked for this guy, it should work for you.

[Guest ***JET***]

I hate to say it...

....but any dude who claims he knows he "needs to grow a pair" is definately in the wrong line of work.

Would assertive be a better word then?

[M2]

***JET***

Don't worry about your mother; it's your future wife that you should worry about!

Seriously, as an old guy, I kinda understand your mother's point-of-view. My kids are still pretty young, and I worry about them all the time. Just watching my older son, who is 10, try some new skateboard trick puts a knot in my stomach. The kid already has already banged himself up pretty back on several occasions, which is exactly the same way I was at his age, so I know that is only gonna get worse as he gets older. But that is the payback that is life. When I think about the things I did as a teenager and later an adult, I never thought about how my parents must've worried.

So, despite the claims to "grow a pair," I think your concern is OK. Despite the macho responses, it is OK to be concerned over how you mother will take you career. The difference is how it will effect your decision...if you let it stop you from doing something you want, then it is wrong. What you have to do is talk with her, explain your desires, and reassure her that you will do everything in your power not to get hurt or killed. Not that it can't happen, and the odds do go up in this line of work; but if you convince her you will be smart about it, it may calm her fears a bit.

Bottom line, take it from a guy who jumped out of Mi-2 HOPLITES with the Slovak Special Forces, it is OK to be a bit worried. It is whether that fear stops you from jumping that is the difference. Don't let it, address it and move forward with your dreams.

Good luck! M2

[HuggyU2]

...but any dude who claims he knows he "needs to grow a pair" is definately in the wrong line of work.

Are you sure it's a "dude"? "Dudettes" also fly jets nowadays.