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TRUE UPT buffoonery


Guest Bender

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Guest KoolKat

It's come to my attention that some think UPT students to be perfect, with only minor flaws...

I know I don't fit this mold and still "somehow" to managed to make it through...

What have you done in training that is true, no shit, baffonery...

None of this, "I broke the wrong way," or "I made a goofed up radio call" bull shit.

A true picture of, I did this and it was alright because I admited I did that, I was wrong and understand how not to let it happen again.

Mine:

I was told by lead to take space in the wing T-37. I chose to lag roll. I was 1000' below the MOA. I made it about 89 degrees before..."I have the controls."

At first I thought, WTF? However, it only took one question from the IP.

"You know your not in the MOA, right?"

Hmmm...maybe that's why I fly a crew aircraft, I don't know...if so, I'm glad now, I like it.

BENDY

[ 10. November 2006, 17:11: Message edited by: Toro ]

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I have a couple, one from t-37s, I was in the area screwing around and basically just seeing how many g's I could pull. I decided 6 was my limit, I believe, anyways, as I was pulling these g's I noticed that the red light in the handle came on. I came back and debriefed my flight and was told I was pulling the gear doors partially open. I was lucky to not hook that flight because I met a dude here at Dyess who hooked a ride at ENJJPT for it.

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Guest Hydro130

Early in Tweets, I was taxiing at CAFB going from the ramp to taxiway "A". I was doing the flight controls check and somehow managed to mash the NWS (yes, while checking the rudder) in my haste to impress the IP with my mad "Before Takeoff" skeellz. Exit taxiway RIGHT (meow!) into the grass, one each T-37. Doh!

I can laugh now, but that one took a loooong time to live down. I like to think that it was the young dirt lovin' Herk driver in me starting to show :D

Good times, good times...

Cheers, Hydro

[ 10. November 2006, 17:04: Message edited by: Hydro130 ]

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Guest croftfam

I didn't realize that the pins in my seat were still in the seat until I was taxiing back to parking. Luckily the IP didn't notice either. I slyly pulled them and slid them into my pocket without letting on to the fact that I would have been screwed if we'd had to eject.

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I forgot my pins, in the seat, on at least 3 different occassions in the Tweet. The best, however, was back in Tweet formation. It was just like Bender's incident, but at about 1,000' AGL.

We were heading out of Woodring, at Vance, after a formation approach and heading to the MOA. I don't remember why, probably for traffic, but Tower wanted us to hold at 2,500 MSL, roughly 1000 AGL. We were fingertip and lead kicked us out for spacing. I wanted to show my ability to lag roll... so I did. I got the plane inverted before the IP took the jet with the proverbial "What the !@#$%, I've got the aircraft!" It took me two questions from the IP to understand what an idiot I was though.

IP: "What were you doing?"

Me: "I was performing a lag roll to take spacing."

IP: "Do you happen to know your current altitude?"

Me: "...., oh !@#$%."

IP: "Ya, oh !@#$%; you've got the aircraft."

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Guest 92T0Jackal
Originally posted by Beaver:

I G-Loc'd in Tweets when I was solo. Not recommended. At least I know what it feels like.

Sweet Jesus. There has to be more to this story!
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I left my pins in during a formation....hooked. Balls.

I was solo in the area and hadn't flown aero in a while (it was at the end of tweet and I got a free solo ride). I decided to do a split S as I was coming to the end of my area, and thought that the parameters were 220 Knots and 0-90 on the throttle. Its actually 120 knots. Well, I did the maneuver, and Immediately almost G-loced myself, and ended at teh dead bottom of the area. That was pretty retarded

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During my pattern solo, I had such a death grip on the stick that I was actuating the trim button nose down.

As I turned crosswind passing about 400 AGL, the plane started feeling real heavy. Since I wasn't climbing as fast, I was accelerating, and started slowly descending at the same time at mil power. I'm sure the people in Sunridge were happy with my lower than normal pass over their houses, but I figured it out before I flew myself into the ground.

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First area solo in the mighty Tweet...wanted to see how many aileron rolls I could do. After 7, I was so nose low I decided to stop. Turns out I was 20 degrees nose low, throttles nearly in mil, and 325 knots and accelerating. Dumb.

I have been trying to think of a good buffoonery story from the tanker, but I guess the "crew save" concept is alive and well, because I can't think of anything really dumb I've done in this jet. Probably the worst is forgetting I was cross feeding fuel between 1 and 4. I looked down and we had 4k in one tank and 10k in the other. Again, dumb.

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T-38 Buffoonery...

1. The Hwy-90 Touch n Go Club...allegedly.

2. Thunderbird Audition ride checklist;

A. Start at 13,000’, select full blower, and unload to zero G.

B. Kiss Mach one at 9,000’ and start a pull to the vertical.

C. Once vertical, begin aileron roll record breaking attempt.

D. Going through 15,000’ take a second to think…”This is cool”.

E. Going through 20,000’ take a second to think… “Holy Crap, this thing is still going like a banshee”.

F. Going through 21,000’ realize the top of the area is 23,000’, initiate panic checklist, and start pulling on the stick.

G. Going through 23,000’ demonstrate only airmanship of the day by selecting Mode C OFF.

H. Going through 24,000’ realize nose is not tracking and airspeed is decaying rapidly.

I. Apogee at 26,000’ and initiate forbidden T-38 tail-slide maneuver.

J. Falling through 25,000’ take a second to think “This is the stupidest thing I have ever done.”

K. Falling through 24,000’ say silent prayer that nose is starting to track towards ground, follow up with no-spin prayer.

L. Falling through 20,000’ see 100 knots on airspeed indicator, begin to think “I might actually live.”

M. Recover at 14,000’, turn Mode C on and spend next 15 minutes flying straight and level.

N. Tell no one.

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Originally posted by Riddller:

What's a 'lag roll'?

To get from a relatively close, admin formation to a further spaced travel formation, lead flys s&l while the jet on the wing does a big barrel roll around lead, thereby flying a longer 'string' and ends up again co-altitude/airspeed, but much further aft, typically btw a 3-wood up to a mile if its done right.
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Guest rotorhead

The "demo" performed by my Guest IP ended as a class B crash...could have easily been an A.

[ 10. November 2006, 20:43: Message edited by: rotorhead ]

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Guest jaybird141

I love the old Mode C off, My Flt CC in Tweets called it the "hook" switch. It was my second ride in final contact phase, first ride in bad wx. I saw an open space in the clouds, and did a Split S right back into the clouds. After some dash poundings from my IP, I thought I would be cool and pulled up for a loop right out of the top of the block to a nice Mode C "Hook"!!

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Guest nghtswmng2

Definitely followed that T-38 checklist on my first solo. Mode C and all. Burned the rest of the gas doing a little Border Patrol. It had to be done once; not to be done ever again.

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Apparently, there was a guy here at Laughlin that just graduated that had a little buffoonery in the T-6. From what I hear, he forgot to attach his parachute risers to his harness the entire mission. That would have been an interesting dilema if he would have had to eject. At least he would have had his SSK all the way down to the ground... no parachute though.

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Guest kottlows

Tried to test the 30 sec inverted ops limit on my initial Tweet area solo. I found myself in an uncomfortable negative 1.5 G dive towards the earth and didn't think about a nose low recovery until I was completely vertical. I pulled to avoid screaming out of the bottom of the MOA and went completely grey. I held onto the pull for a few more seconds and let go of it; regained my vision to find myself 20 nose low and 260 knots accelerating. Remembered to G-strain after that and finally recovered. I also spent the next 10 minutes flying straight and level trying to figure out WTF I just did to myself. Did 5 A-rolls in a row and headed home. Incredibly stupid but fun overall.

-WARHAWK-

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On his return from an area solo in one of the Western MOAs at CAFB, a buddy of mine somehow got a 150 heading from approach confused with a descent to 1500'. Forty+ miles from base. After buzzing the football stadium at Mississippi State and getting chewed out by the controller, he returned to find he was a recipient of the ever-popular RAPCON-directed "unsat".

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It was always funny to hear guys checking-in on their area solos inverted, particularly when all the freqs were busy.... "SIRE......51......(A-GASM).....ESTAB....(A-GASM).....LISHED.... AREA 3.....(A-GASM).... LOW"

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