I need help thinking of my retaliation against the guys in my class next week. I received the "tool" award this week during my fourth week at UPT. Basically, the class presented a case for me because of comments I made about the tuna fish I ate and talked about. When I referred to my "tuna" and the way it "smelled," you can just IMAGINE what that did for me. Yes I am a female. Yeah, never living that comment down. Even though I rocked my solo and there were other guys who did some really stupid things on their solos, I still get the "tool" award for my comment. Soooo- I have to carry around a big metal wrench with a chain on it all next week and they have to steal it from me and try to hide it. All this while I am trying to get ready for my mid-phase check ride. Part of the humor here at UPT.

Now- what are some good things I can come up with when I have to "retaliate" next week? I have to go in front of the class and make a poem or rhyme about someone and come back so that someone else has to wear the tool. I am thinking of making fun of stupid things they do all day or the food they bring, or all the sick things they "so to speak." I could start it with "I may eat my starkist, but when I eat my Starkist at least I don't do this or that....." I can't hink of anything more creative! Help!

Even though I rocked my solo and there were other guys who did some really stupid things on their solos, I still get the "tool" award for my comment....

Based on this comment I think it was a valid award...no need for retaliation.

Pics may help.

Pics may help.

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Pics may help.

3.

Based on this comment I think it was a valid award...no need for retaliation.

Amen! First some tips that'll help you get through UPT:

- Only your parents are impressed when you say you "rocked" something. Not even your UPT friends (or we) are.

- It's not just "UPT humor." Think of these shenanigans as part of the tradition that goes with being a military pilot.

Now to answer your question: you're on the right track. Try to come up with something that rhymes, and try to roast each person once, saving the last (and best) one for who you're trying to pass the wrench off to. Make fun of their dumb mistakes, or if you've got nothing on 'em, make fun of their dumb hobbies, looks, etc...just keep it harmless. For example, you can say: "Lt Studly thinks I'm a dolt for not saying so to speak, but at least I didn't hook for forgetting to pin my seat," NOT "at least my significant other didn't have an affair with the USEM last week." This stuff isn't meant to get in the way of getting ready for mid-phase; it's meant to lighten the atmosphere so mid-phase doesn't seem so overbearing...so have fun with it!

Oh yeah...and pics usually help.

-Hugo

Pics may help.

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I love eating tuna, enjoy talking about it with strangers on the internet, and love sharing stories about the tools guys in my class gave me.

Great first post! I see nothing wrong with your comments, perhaps if you expressed this to your class they'd be more amicable. Good luck at UPT.

Since you have to come here to get funny ideas, why not just cook your class a nice dinner?

Make one of them fall in love with you. Move in together after graduation, then get married. After a few years leave with half his stuff, but leave a can of tuna and the wrench. It'll be great; you could even get his mother in on the joke.

It's tradition, don't take it personally. A lot of these traditions help to develop the thick skin you will need as a military pilot, so try to have fun with it. Just keep your eyes open for the next person to do or say something stupid and keep it to yourself until next Friday. Try to stick with the ROE and don't get upset if you end up keeping it for another week...eventually somebody else is going to shine their ass, it's just a matter of time in UPT. Also, try to stay away from terminology like "rocking" your solo or anything else that my 12-year old daughter would say, and never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. Sounds harsh, but it has helped more than a few UPT students.

Pics may help.

Word

I smell a troll.

And tuna.

Me too. Pics or it didn't happen.

It's tradition

Be careful, if you label something as a tradition Big Blue is going to swoop in and take it away...

If you're getting butthurt about getting made fun of for tuna jokes, you have a long and painful career ahead of you. I strongly suggest you grow a thicker skin.

Also the fact that you allegedly "rocked" your solo doesn't count for shit. Not in UPT, not ever. You are EXPECTED to be a good pilot, I don't care if you're a UPT stud or a gray beard IP. If you fall short of the excellence that is expected of you that's a whole different matter, but "rocking" a flight is never a good defense against buffoonery and clownism.

Carry your tool with pride. Display it when it is appropriate, conceal it when necessary. Don't assume everyone wants to see it, but don't be shy to wave it around either. Wait.... wat?

Greatest UPT advice I ever got. "Never pass up the perfect opportunity to shut the f#$k up." I still find myself failing to follow it, and the doofer book is always listening.

Make one of them fall in love with you. Move in together after graduation, then get married. After a few years leave with half his stuff, but leave a can of tuna and the wrench. It'll be great; you could even get his mother in on the joke.

Dammit I already ran out of positive votes before I got to this post.

+1

If you're getting butthurt about getting made fun of for tuna jokes, you have a long and painful career ahead of you. I strongly suggest you grow a thicker skin.

Also the fact that you allegedly "rocked" your solo doesn't count for shit. Not in UPT, not ever. You are EXPECTED to be a good pilot, I don't care if you're a UPT stud or a gray beard IP. If you fall short of the excellence that is expected of you that's a whole different matter, but "rocking" a flight is never a good defense against buffoonery and clownism.

Carry your tool with pride. Display it when it is appropriate, conceal it when necessary. Don't assume everyone wants to see it, but don't be shy to wave it around either. Wait.... wat?

There it is. I can't believe it took almost a page for someone to express the hard truth.

1. You are a student, you WILL fuck up.

2. When you are a CO/wingman you WILL fuck up.

3. Your job is to learn when 1 and 2 happen.

4. Grow some thick skin and learn to laugh at yourself.

5. Don't waive your tool around in public.

All of the above are from personal experience (except the wingman part).

If you're getting butthurt about getting made fun of for tuna jokes, you have a long and painful career ahead of you. I strongly suggest you grow a thicker skin.

Also the fact that you allegedly "rocked" your solo doesn't count for shit. Not in UPT, not ever. You are EXPECTED to be a good pilot, I don't care if you're a UPT stud or a gray beard IP. If you fall short of the excellence that is expected of you that's a whole different matter, but "rocking" a flight is never a good defense against buffoonery and clownism.

Carry your tool with pride. Display it when it is appropriate, conceal it when necessary. Don't assume everyone wants to see it, but don't be shy to wave it around either. Wait.... wat?

This is truth...especially the part about carrying your tool with pride

Well, I think we've effectively scared kitty26 off! I hope she got her shit straight before departing...

You should retaliate by having some tuna sandwiches ready for them.

It needed to be said.

I could start it with "I may eat my starkist, but when I eat my Starkist at least I don't do this or that....." I can't hink of anything more creative! Help!

I still can't get past how one can "rock" and ungraded flight.