sky_king Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 <snip> you are a large, slow, non maneuvering high RCS target, and deserve the hits you take. I don't need Air Force PT gear to be large, slow and non-maneuverable at the gym. I handle that just fine on my own. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Napoleon_Tanerite Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I don't need Air Force PT gear to be large, slow and non-maneuverable at the gym. I handle that just fine on my own. you and me both, but my point remains (STS). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danny Noonin Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Is it me, or was that story neither funny nor really impressive in any way? Is telling some geek he's out of regs somehow a victory of some sort now? Did it even require any balls? Maybe I'm missing something. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LockheedFix Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 (edited) Is it me, or was that story neither funny nor really impressive in any way? Is telling some geek he's out of regs somehow a victory of some sort now? Did it even require any balls? Maybe I'm missing something. I agree. I kept waiting for this one to be as funny as the one from Balad where the guy punched a shoe in the face for reaching into his shower (which this guy was clearly trying to imitate) but it just never happened. Edited February 4, 2012 by LockheedFix 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Freshwater Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Received through numerous forwards ----------------------------- Subject: A 100% true story Fellow Warriors, The story I am a about to tell you is 100% true. If you don't want to hear an inspiring, moving account of out-shoeing a shoe, then delete. However, if you're ready to put on your black socks and fight the man, then read below. So I went to the gym yesterday to run. I just took off my running suit, changed my shoes, removed my life preserver belt, combed my hair, trimmed my mustache, put my socks to the proper level, folded my jacket the proper air force way, and prepared to run. There was only a spare few seconds of adjusting the treadmill when I spotted a nearby shoe eyeing me down. "Oh boy," I thought, "just give a damn second to get set up here and I'll do a thorough uniform check". Too late, the nerd got me. He said, "Hey, make sure you tuck that shirt in fully before you start. Just looking out for you". I swear, a tiny portion of my shirt was not 100% fully in and I just removed my jacket 10 seconds prior. Well, this is where my training kicked in. I did not get upset or flustered like I may have in the past as a newbie to war. Those days are over. I'm prepared, hardened, studied, and ready for the shoe enemy and his tactics. The first thing I did, as anyone should, is sarcastically laugh in his face and give him the "are you serious?" look. Then I slowly (and still sarcastically) tucked my shirt in extra high, pulled up my socks extra high, and (sarcastically) said "thank you so much for correcting my uniform appearance. I promise it will NEVER happen again". But I did not stop there. I knew a good defense was a strong offense. It was time to execute Operation Two-Shoe policy! I patiently hawked and observed this dork of nature looking for any violation I can think of. I had to peruse the list of shoe-rules on the wall just to refresh my memory. So as I'm doing sit-ups, I see what appears to be the same person riding the bike. But after careful observation (of which he is getting real nervous now), I see the shot I've been looking for! On his pasty white thin legs, next to the spot where his penis used to be, I notice this guy has short, grey spandex on under his shorts. Not the "dark air force blue or black" ones that are required as per AFSHOE 69.69 policy. I was no longer going to be victim. I was going to stand up for the long-forgotten combat pilot! I learned that how can I be trusted to lead a combat sortie if I have a logo that is too large on my sock. So I thought, how can I trust this guy to do my finances or clean my toilet if he can't follow simple regulations. But a dilemma entered my brain. Was war changing me? Was I becoming the evil shoe I fought so hard against? He looked different, and I was not 100% sure it was him. Was this even the same person...I didn't have 100% PID because I was so shocked and was laughing so hard during his attack. I began to sweat and panic. What had Shoe-War done to me? But then I went back to my training. "Have a plan", "don't be afraid of the Shoe", "he's just as afraid of you as you are of him". So I mustered up all my confidence and proudly walked up to him. "Hey, are you the guy that was running next to me? (giving myself an exit if he said "no). "Yes", his fat face mumbled. "Were you the one you helped me out with my uniform appearance?". "yes". Here was my shot. Here was the moment I've been waiting for so long... "Well, Buddy, let me help you out. You're wearing the wrong color spandex. It has to be black or blue. Good luck finding one too because they're hard to find. Just looking out for you, Bro". The little snail didn't know what to do. For once, the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak. It was Luke Skywalker turning the tables and making Darth Vader his b!tch. It was like watching the bully O'Doyle station wagon go flying over the cliff! He stammered, sputtered, got confused, tried to hide his shorts, "um, uh, well, the thing is, my laundry, uh actually, it's not technically a..., uh, ok, sure, I'll fix it next time" was all he could muster. I felt proud, similar to the feeling Robin Olds must have had returning from a successful mission from deep North Vietnam. Fellas, I don't use the word "hero" too often, especially when referring to myself. But Anchor, I think you have more than enough info here for a medal. Remember your training! Stand proud! Fight the man! Stick your black-socked foot in the mouth of the Shoe! It's one of those "hunter becomes the hunted" type things... I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 It's one of those "hunter becomes the hunted" type things... I like it. More like the "normal guy becomes the douchebag he hates" type thing... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I agree. I kept waiting for this one to be as funny as the one from Balad where the guy punched a shoe in the face for reaching into his shower (which this guy was clearly trying to imitate) but it just never happened. I heard this happened at Manas when a chief took it upon himself to ensure people didn't exceed the allotted 3 minutes for showers and someone broke his face for violating their personal space and then had the SA to call the SARC on him for "sexual assault" as the cherry on top of a beatdown sundae. Urban legend or epidemic, take your pick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
matmacwc Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 I heard this happened at Manas when a chief took it upon himself to ensure people didn't exceed the allotted 3 minutes for showers and someone broke his face for violating their personal space and then had the SA to call the SARC on him for "sexual assault" as the cherry on top of a beatdown sundae. Urban legend or epidemic, take your pick. THAT story is on here somewhere and not false. Welcome to the forums. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BQZip01 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 THAT story is on here somewhere and not false. Welcome to the forums. Check the Deid thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Check the Deid thread Sweet, I'm a big fan of people getting what they deserve, especially when what they deserve is a proper jollystomping. I passed thru Manas twice last year whilst coming and going to OAKN and heard the story with slight variations each time. I'll invest some time sorting through the Deid thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cap-10 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Are you REQUIRED to wear the gay PT "uniform" when working out at a stateside gym at some places? I never have understood those idiots who wear the PT "uniform" of their own free will. Shoes can't say a damn thing to you when you're wearing whatever you want at the gym. My take is that if you intentionally wear the PT "uniform" when it isn't absolutely required, you are a large, slow, non maneuvering high RCS target, and deserve the hits you take. We've been told that if we are using the aircrew gym during the workday, then we have to be in PT uniform. Cheers, Cap-10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BQZip01 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 We've been told that if we are using the aircrew gym during the workday, then we have to be in PT uniform. Cheers, Cap-10 That sucks. Just tell them you are off-duty and not in your "work day" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HU&W Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Sweet, I'm a big fan of people getting what they deserve, especially when what they deserve is a proper jollystomping. I passed thru Manas twice last year whilst coming and going to OAKN and heard the story with slight variations each time. I'll invest some time sorting through the Deid thread. The Deid thread is an excellent place to invest time. However, if you're strapped for time PM BQZip. He has an excellent powerpoint that summarizes the high points of that thread. If I remember right, the Chief slap story is on slide 69. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JarheadBoom Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Are you REQUIRED to wear the gay PT "uniform" when working out at a stateside gym at some places? Once upon a time, it was WG/CC-directed policy at KWRI (but no longer). Gotta support the warriors downrange, you know. No bullshit, the memo actually referenced deployed folks having to wear PTs....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BQZip01 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The Deid thread is an excellent place to invest time. However, if you're strapped for time, just make a joke about BQZip and powerpoint. It doesn't matter how lame it is. If I remember right, you should also include the number 69 in all posts. FIFY 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C-21.Pilot Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Said story of shoe being punched for reaching into the shower was authored by a T-6 IP w/ prior B-52 time here at Columbus during his last deployment. It's even funnier in person... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noodles Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Once upon a time, it was WG/CC-directed policy at KWRI (but no longer). Gotta support the warriors downrange, you know. No bullshit, the memo actually referenced deployed folks having to wear PTs....... He speaks the truth! Thankfully the next WG/CC (actually the new ABW/CC) changed that back week one. Not often do you see dumb policies reversed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duck Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 He speaks the truth! Thankfully the next WG/CC (actually the new ABW/CC) changed that back week one. Not often do you see dumb policies reversed. It will be interesting to see if Blues Monday is gone after Schwartz is gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaded Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 It will be changed to flight suit/ABU Monday. Every other day we'll wear blues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BQZip01 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 It will be changed to flight suit/ABU Monday. Every other day we'll wear blues. SHUT! THE! HELL! UP!!! Don't give the damn shoeclerks any more ideas!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Texan Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I vote for Hawaiian shirt Fridays. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 If they give us casual fridays, we will all have to have at least 38 pieces of flare on our reflective belts like Jennifer Anniston in Office Space. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vertigo Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 I vote for Hawaiian shirt Fridays. And Pantless Wednesdays Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guineapigfury Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 And Pantless Wednesdays Pretty sure the 2903 only specifies the height of the upper zipper on the flightsuit, so we may be closer to this than you think. But I hope not. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rusty Pipes Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Once upon a time, it was WG/CC-directed policy at KWRI (but no longer). Gotta support the warriors downrange, you know. No bullshit, the memo actually referenced deployed folks having to wear PTs....... I agree... we should support our warriors downrange. Last time I checked, I don't remember anyone downrange wearing blues! On a side note... I was deployed to the CAOC when all that was happening and there was a post on here that went viral over there that took said Wing CC's bio and ran through his assignments line by line as the perfect example of how Big Blue promotes guys into "leadership" positions based on box checking with virtually little to no actual proven leadership ability. They took his name out and it wasn't a specific "hit piece" on him, just an example of how the system is broken. I can't seem to find it, but it is buried on here somewhere... it was brilliant! BTW... that guy is a 1 Star now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now