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The Officers Club


Champ Kind

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Air Force O'clubs have sucked since I've been around. However, the Navy was still doing it right down in Corpus when I was there in 98. I stumbled out of there and slept in the bushes on more than one occassion. They also opened the gates to the local talent, so there was usually some women looking for a pilot to take them out of TX. I lived a short Par 3 from there, good times.

Since the basement of Maxwell was brought up, here's my story-

Ended up at maxwell from a WX divert from dobbins. Crappy day, so took the crew to the club and started drinking before we even went to billeting. There were a ton of 2Lts (JAG students) playing crud in the corner. One of the students came to our table and said, "Hey, we've got some O-6s playing crud and we feel a lot better if someone in a bag would ref."

My response, "We don't understand your lawyer games." She went on and on about how it was a pilot game, we said we've never heard of it, etc. She finally left us to our beer.

I went to the bar to buy the next round and I see a bird col's hat on the bar. No shit. So I hand the hat to the bartender and order a round on the col. I tell the bartender to give our regards to the col.

5 minutes later, a red-faced JAG col is steaming towards our table. I thank him for our drinks, we toast his generosity, and he starts accusing me of stealing his hat and placing on the bar. I laugh it off, thank him again, but he will not let it go. He is really pissed. I said, "sir, first of all I didn't steal your hat, ask the bartender, secondly, anything else out of your mouth will be quibbling and we'll take another round. I could see the vains in his forehead. He stormed off to his lawyer minions.

We're finishing up our last round, heading to billeting and here comes the col with a tray of shots. He said, "well, you got me so, here you go, this is the cheapest tequila they got, cheers." I said, "sorry col, we're in our window, and we walked out." I think he about lost it but we didn't stick around.

Crazy JAGS.

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The club at Laughlin was pitiful during my time spent there in T-6s. You could tell it had once been a great place, but when we got there, the beers shown as on tap most of the times didn't even exist. We were told there was always free food on Friday afternoons...until of course parties were being catered in another room and the bar was somehow "closed" for those events (WTF???), and no food was made. Then they closed it down for a while to "renovate" it...never went back to check it out, but probably to take out all of the flying related stuff in it, so as not to offend anyone.

We even brought up the club issues with the end of course critique, since they asked for issues with services...who knows if anything is being done. But seriously, they told us to be on our toes when sampling the fine establishments in Del Rio due to Texas ABC, but didn't give us a good alternative on base. I remember hearing the stories told about O Clubs by some of our Reserve Lt Col IPs, and wondered what the hell happened. Anyways, this guy is spot on. :beer:

Since you brought up DLF, let me tell you about the second to last time I went there on something other than a drop night. (You will see why it was my second to last time shortly) We, my class early in T-6s, decided we would go to the club every Friday directly from work, wearing our bags as it should be. One night, we walked in and there we a ton of old timers there. Turns out it was the class reunion for class 68D (1968). We strike up conversation, shared beers and told stories. At about 7 o'clock they inform us they have to move on and "donate" the rest of their (purchased) keg to us and wish us a good night. By this point we make up about 90% of the bar and are gladly drinking from our free keg rather than blowing money at the bar. Before long some bus boy comes up, disassembles our keg and informs us that if we want to keep drinking we have to buy from the bar. We call bullshit, argue with the manager (and lose) so we leave vowing never to return outside of functions. Track select comes around and we have a feedback session with the OG. He is floored at our O'Club story and within an hour our SRO has an email from the club manager "Offering" to buy us a keg to remedy the situation. We gladly accept the offer but never returned on a friday as a class since.

They treat their patrons like shit and wonder why they don't make any money.

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I appluad your boldness. I'm glad he saw it that way. I humbly submit you be more careful about your tone next time you find yourself in such a situation. It didn't cross your mind to invite your fellow classmate over? I had classmates at ASBC that didn't even know how to tell a F-15 from an F-22...I doubt she showed up there just to have a beer. Besides, lord knows, even if she was a beast, there was one guy willing to tie one on and her up.

Blah, balh, O'Club sucks and it's sad it won't come back...let's go to the titty bar and then some clubs!

BENDY

Boldness or hungover stupidity, I'll let you choose. The heffer in the aforementioned story was not one we would have invited to the table. She was one of the Bible-bangers in our class, so we tried to let her fit in. Me and a couple of other guys were going to a bar a few weeks later, and we asked her to DD for us. She replied with some lame excuse, and told us that she was sorry for the problems she had caused. She also didn't like harsh language either, which floored me, her being a MX officer and all. Oh well, I think the USAF should bring the titty bars to the base, and the O-club will be packed with women and men singing song and drinking ale.

Slacker, that is an awesome story. I tried to coin my wing commander recently at an Air Force ball, and he picked my coin up, handed it back to me, and told me to go away (###### off). I tried to hold him to it, but didn't want paperwork coming my way later on. I'll figure out a way to get my drink sooner or later.

Edited by beast05
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And religion plays into this whole thing how? Not following your train of thought.

On another note, I have had but one memorable experience at an officers' club and that would be at the Maxwell O' Club. Random Thursday, showed up to find out that a group of LtCol Selects had dropped $10K on alcohol for the whole place. There were a shit ton of people there and the alcohol was free. I eventually resorted to Heineken and tiny bottles of champagne 'cause everything else had been consumed. Bad karaoke out the ass, 25 cent wings, free liquor (no Jager!) and plenty of "scenery." Drunk out of our minds, I stumbled home with a female classmate of mine. :beer::rock::bohica: GREAT f-in' time.

And then I got to Columbus and to our "co-located" piece of crap... :bash:

So yes... alcohol, women, HERITAGE and no fear of retribution... Bring that to the officers' clubs and the services will see an immediate boost in membership. Until then, I'd rather take my chances downtown.

[Edet four spealing]

My time at Maxwell wasn't as "fun" (but then again I was married). When I went to ASBC, there was an emphasis on passing the newest tests. When the test came out, there were large chunks of questions that no one prepared for ("Do we need to know this for the test?" "Nah. But it's good information to know I suppose" were extremely typical of the interactions with instructors prior to the test...only to find out that, yes, indeed they were on the test). On top of that, there were quite a few questions that could have more than one answer because they were so poorly phrased...with some coming directly from the texts we were given.

[On a side note, because of the "new question" fiasco, I put in a detailed suggestion on implementation in the future: add a few "these don't count" questions to the end of the tests to see how the students see the questions and work the bugs out before going live with an inferior product...It's been in use every class since mine! :-)]

Anyway, our class was pretty stoked about everyone passing despite the question SNAFUs and we went back to our dorms to celebrate. For those that have been to ASBC, there is a large quadrangle just south of the Golf Course. That night, it was filled with 2Lts, beer, and what seemed like entire bars of alcohol...all free! I had a great time and my wife came to visit, so I had quite a good night...

...until the following Monday when I learned some "genius" knowingly threw a beer bottle at a Major. After that, we were all told that there would be no more parties on the Quad if alcohol was involved. So, the grills and pavillions out there went largely unused.

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Wow, this thread fired up the "way-back machine". Willy (that was east of Phoenix for all you youngsters) had the lingerie parties, and when those got shut down due to the encroachment of shoes and wives, we moved across the parking lot to build the "casual bar". ASU and all the great bars and we still drank ourselves cool every Friday night on base (The rest of the week was a different story). For a change of scenery we'd go cross-country to a weekly scheduled parade of O'Club drunkfests. Los Alamitos on Tuesday for the leather skirt girls, Miramar on Wednesday to make the squids look bad, Mather on a JOC night where they bussed the girls in (so it cost me a night in jail, it builds character). I have fond memories of my roommate being strung up the Miramar Flagpole in his underwear - and that was by the OG.

We broke things, stole things, pissed off managers, played crud, dice, darts, shuffleboard, bat-hung, carrier landed, woke up in back yards, closets, under cars, strange rooms, river banks and made girls laugh, cry, etc., but we were the closest, most loyal, fun-loving group of guys you'd ever met. All we had to do was own up to any damage and tell the boss we'd try to be nice the next time - unless he was standing with us telling his boss the same thing.

So now I'm the old man sitting in my squadron bar, (buying a beer for my new Wing CC because he told the AD Wing CC where he could put his reflective belt policy for the UCI - sweet!) making sure my guys do what we can with this place, 'cause it's all we have left.

Sorry, I guess this was a little more of an old guy rant than I expected - Scotch rules.

Gov

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Air Force O'clubs have sucked since I've been around. However, the Navy was still doing it right down in Corpus when I was there in 98. I stumbled out of there and slept in the bushes on more than one occassion. They also opened the gates to the local talent, so there was usually some women looking for a pilot to take them out of TX. I lived a short Par 3 from there, good times.

Similar stories from when I went to a buddy's winging there a couple years ago. At least 2 women were introduced to me as "This is my daughter _______. She's single. Good luck." No kidding.

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Saw this crap this morning. Oh, now I'll sign up! I always wanted a 6 month zero-interest rate on a new credit card I can use at the on-base, dumpy, retirement home-esque, Golden Coral knock-off, zero atmosphere O'club. Oooh - Casino night! F OFF.

May 14, 2009

New club members get 3 month free membership

By 2nd Lt. Gina Vaccaro McKeen

Air Force Services Public Affairs

RANDOLPH AIR FORCE BASE, Texas – All eligible personnel who join any Air Force club between June 15 and Aug. 15 will automatically receive three months of free dues as part of the Air Force's 2009 club membership campaign.

New members will also receive the benefits of a free cash back rewards program and a six-month, zero percent annual percentage rate on their club member credit card. Additionally, AF clubs will randomly select 200 members, new and current, to receive $250 in prizes. Interested members must register using an online survey at xxxxxx.

Those eligible to apply are all active-duty members, reservists, Air National Guard members, Department of Defense civilians and contractors working full time on the installation. Others are eligible as well; please contact your local club for more information.

"Our 'Instant Payback' club membership campaign will give all Airmen the opportunity to try their Air Force club for free and see for themselves the many benefits a club membership offers," said Fred McKenney, chief of the Air Force Food and Beverages Division, at Randolph AFB.

AF clubs offer a myriad of free and inexpensive activities including special events like casino nights, sporting events, themed parties, and special meals for holidays and special occasions. Club members receive discounts on every club meal as well as monthly coupons that can be used at club functions.

In addition to the perks of being a club member, the card itself has numerous benefits, said Mr. McKenny. The military free cash rewards program allows members to earn cash back on purchases. Members earn 2 percent cash back on every eligible purchase in on-base force support activities, as well as shopping at the base exchange or the commissary. Additionally, members earn 1 percent cash back on all other eligible purchases, including off-base purchases.

Members can redeem their points for cash, gift cards, airline tickets, and hotel and car rentals. There is no fee for these card services; they are included as part of the club membership.

"The Club Membership Card Program is administered at virtually no cost to the Air Force, which allows the savings to be returned to club members in the form of programs, facilities, and services," said Mr. McKenney. "The program establishes and controls credit limits, and institutes a procedure to approve each charge transaction, making it a much more responsible form of credit."

Membership fees help to defray the day-to-day operational costs of the club. Clubs do waive membership fees while personnel are deployed.

Airmen who join during their technical training receive their first year's dues free. After their first year, they pay a reduced rate of no more than $2-$4 until they are noncommissioned officers.

"All Airmen should consider club membership because of the many services and benefits Air Force clubs provide for military members and their family members," Mr. McKenney added. "Your Air Force club is a great place for entertainment, socializing, and meeting new people in a fun and safe environment."

For more information about Air Force clubs and the 2009 membership campaign, visit the Air Force clubs Web site xxxxxx or visit one of the clubs at your local base.

"Instant payback"? I don't know about that, but I have instant feedback: :flipoff:

EDIT: yes I got this at work, but it's from Services. I challenge you to find anything that's even FOUO. Besides, some people work in Services AFTER they LOSE their security clearance.

Edited by Spoo
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I saw this article when I was reading articles online, and it really cracked me up. I guarantee, if services would institute a happy hour again, then more people would come to the club. I don't know if anyone on here is a member, but I tried it about two years ago. Our Sq/CC told us that it was our professional obligation to join the club, and I decided I would. After receiving the credit card, and not being able to pay my dues online, I cancelled my membership two months later. It was an incredibly lame experience, and I didn't gain anything out of it.

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Our Sq/CC told us that it was our professional obligation to join the club...

It's your professional obligation to get another credit card? Awesome. It probably was about 20 years ago...when it was an O'club and it was fun.

Edited by Spoo
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It's your professional obligation to get another credit card? Awesome. It probably was about 20 years ago...when it was an O'club and it was fun.

The thing is, twenty years ago you got a "club card" which was run by the local club, billed like a mom-n-pop store, and didn't go on your credit report. You put everything on your card, and you paid it every month. No hassle, no interest, no problems.

Agreed that the lack of girls, happy hour, and live music have all contributed greatly to the death of the clubs. Douchebag "leadership" doesn't help either. Glad to see they still have cheap long island iced teas at the Auger Inn at least.

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Approaching 23 years in the Blue, I witnessed firsthand the tail end of the "glory days" of the O Clubs (lingerie shows at Barksdale, Langley, Auger/Oceana/Mirimar on Friday night, etc.) and I also saw firsthand the gradual dismantling of the clubs in the aftermath of Tailhook.

There is one place I know of that still has the feel of the old school O Club--Charlie's at Altus. Grill your own steak, sassy barmaids, somewhat controlled debauchery and lots of bros looking out for you if you get out of hand. Friday night usually brings out a few shoe clerks/uniform Nazis, but they're usually out of there by 2200. The local Altus businesses even sponsor a "drunk bus" to haul your drunk ass to/from the local watering holes. Charlie's is open every night except Monday, and I can't imagine three months in SW OK without that place.

Big surprise that Charlie herself says Services is trying to close the place in order to increase revenue for the largely unpopular <gasp> All Ranks Club.

But my old ass says we don't need a club to preserve our heritage. The old school clubs are dead; a thing of the past, like "walking the balls" or "hawg sweeps". WE, as FGOs and senior CGOs owe it to our young dudes to keep it alive, pick them up when they fall, look out for them, and back them up when they run afoul of the shoe clerks. I know of a squad that has an annual camping trip, where members rent 8-10 campers and go to a state park and act like complete idiots.

We don't need the clubs, we need each other.

SC

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Guest jinnyt_00

Friday night usually brings out a few shoe clerks/uniform Nazis, but they're usually out of there by 2200. The local Altus businesses even sponsor a "drunk bus" to haul your drunk ass to/from the local watering holes.

The uniform nazis are out other nights besides Friday. While its true they are usually gone by 2200 some dudes need to realize where they are and enjoy the company of their bros instead of making it their own mission to call everyone out for piddy crap. Also the drunk bus driver needs to realize that he is driving the DRUNK BUS and calm down. Your an A#* Steve.

Edited by jinnyt_00
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The uniform nazis are out other nights besides Friday. While its true they are usually gone by 2200 some dudes need to realize where they are and enjoy the company of their bros instead of making it their own mission to call everyone out for piddy crap. Also the drunk bus driver needs to realize that he is driving the DRUNK BUS and calm down. Your an A#* Steve.

So your saying the shoes are there correcting you on uniform wear, etc? Well then Stainedclass, apparently the Altus O'club ain't that cool. Sorry, I'm not hanging out any place where uniform nazis can order from the same bartender. And "grill your own steak" sounds too much like "casino night" or "all you can eat shrimp night". I suppose you don't have many options in Altus though...

Edited by Spoo
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Guest Vettepilot
Don't knock till you try it.

Charlie's is actually a pretty chill place to hang out and what have you. I think it's pretty cool that you can grill your own steak, burger, chicken or fish... Charlie's is a BIG step UP from the O Club here at VN, and Charlie, herself, is really cool.

The other night I walked into the Vance club while in civvies and had a hat on. Before i got more than 10 steps in I got yelled at to take off my hat. I almost never go to the O Club so maybe its always been a rule, but it was annoying as hell. I'm in civilian clothes and trying to relax, give it a rest.

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The other night I walked into the Vance club while in civvies and had a hat on. Before i got more than 10 steps in I got yelled at to take off my hat. I almost never go to the O Club so maybe its always been a rule, but it was annoying as hell. I'm in civilian clothes and trying to relax, give it a rest.

they saved you from buying a round for everyone...consider yourself lucky.

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The other night I walked into the Vance club while in civvies and had a hat on. Before i got more than 10 steps in I got yelled at to take off my hat. I almost never go to the O Club so maybe its always been a rule, but it was annoying as hell. I'm in civilian clothes and trying to relax, give it a rest.

I was at Keesler and an O-3 walked into that O-Club after playing golf; still had his hat on. He walked over and talked to one of his buddies about something and a butterbar ran up and rang the bell. Everyone stopped and looked at the person who rung the bell...

...and then at the person she was pointing at...

There was a made rush to the bar shortly thereafter, but the guy refused to pay!!!

...that is until an O-8 pulled him aside and talked to him for a couple of minutes. After which, he dutifully left his credit card at the desk.

I kind of liked the rules at Keesler. You were obligated to buy a round at the O-Club if you did any one of a number of things (all the usual suspects: put your hat on the bar, put your wallet on the bar, spouse calls you at the O'Club, wearing your hat inside, ringing the bell with no cause, etc.), but they put a $50 cap on your tab. On top of that, you had to get another of the drink you were currently drinking. You couldn't get a double Grey Goose martini when you were just drinking a coke, you'd just get another coke. It cut down on abuse of the "fun" of the O'Club and let the Os hang out and still have a good time.

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This has always been a tradition in AF casual bars. I can remember walking into the bar at Clark AB on my way to Vietnam. It was a Friday evening about 5:30 during happy hour. The bell immediately rang and I noticed my buddy grabbing his hat off. That cost him about $200 (big bucks in 1969). Luckily, it was dime beer and quarter drinks!! That was 40 years ago and I can still remember the huge sign over the bar: "1st Lt Fred M. Metcalf wore his hat and refused to buy the bar!" The beautifully engraved sign (on a mahogany plaque) had letters about 6" tall. I never met the guy, but I'd remember the sign if I ever did.

Edited by HiFlyer
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So your saying the shoes are there correcting you on uniform wear, etc? Well then Stainedclass, apparently the Altus O'club ain't that cool. Sorry, I'm not hanging out any place where uniform nazis can order from the same bartender. And "grill your own steak" sounds too much like "casino night" or "all you can eat shrimp night". I suppose you don't have many options in Altus though...

Sounds like you’ve never been there. It’s worth a trip. Charlie’s has made many an Altus TDY tolerable. The “grill your own” has fed thousands who are sent to Altus w/o rental cars over the years (and probably a whole lot more as squadrons try to save for that plasma screen for the bathroom). It’s dark and has that authentic worn-down lived in feeling. I’d be surprised if any C-141/-5/-17/-135 pilot/nav had something bad to say about the place.

I’m not sure if any club has the ability to deny service to ‘clerks…but they only have to look around (and note the hundreds of leather and cloth nametags on the walls that go back decades) to know it is not their place. They leave early. Charlie is easily the hardest working services employee in the AF…the fact the place is named after her speaks volumes. She’s an institution in the MAC/AMC world. Hell, they even bring her to the Airlift/Tanker Assoc convention each year to work the Altus “recruiting” booth.

It is not located with the “club” but is its own entity by itself. This has (apparently) irked a number of SVS/CC who have passed thu there over the past 20 years as they attempt to increase business as the “other” club (never been there…no plans to either)….and who wonder why the place is named after the bartender and not something generic like “Wright Brothers” or “insert generic aviation-theme name here”

If more clubs were like this one…I’d consider being a member. Don’t see that happening tho.

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The other night I walked into the Vance club while in civvies and had a hat on. Before i got more than 10 steps in I got yelled at to take off my hat. I almost never go to the O Club so maybe its always been a rule, but it was annoying as hell. I'm in civilian clothes and trying to relax, give it a rest.

There are rules to the bar which you were about to break and be punished appropriately.

Next time you go to the bar, read the rules....out loud.

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  • 3 weeks later...
So your saying the shoes are there correcting you on uniform wear, etc? Well then Stainedclass, apparently the Altus O'club ain't that cool. Sorry, I'm not hanging out any place where uniform nazis can order from the same bartender. And "grill your own steak" sounds too much like "casino night" or "all you can eat shrimp night". I suppose you don't have many options in Altus though...

Actually, the uniform Nazi was a C-17 pilot from CHS, active duty, with an Army guy high and tight haircut that thought he should push around my 2Lt partner. I wish I had been there, but I was back in the room watching the ball game and drinking my Ensure.

Shoe clerks fly jets, too.

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Since you brought up DLF, let me tell you about the second to last time I went there on something other than a drop night. (You will see why it was my second to last time shortly) We, my class early in T-6s, decided we would go to the club every Friday directly from work, wearing our bags as it should be. One night, we walked in and there we a ton of old timers there. Turns out it was the class reunion for class 68D (1968). We strike up conversation, shared beers and told stories. At about 7 o'clock they inform us they have to move on and "donate" the rest of their (purchased) keg to us and wish us a good night. By this point we make up about 90% of the bar and are gladly drinking from our free keg rather than blowing money at the bar. Before long some bus boy comes up, disassembles our keg and informs us that if we want to keep drinking we have to buy from the bar. We call bullshit, argue with the manager (and lose) so we leave vowing never to return outside of functions. Track select comes around and we have a feedback session with the OG. He is floored at our O'Club story and within an hour our SRO has an email from the club manager "Offering" to buy us a keg to remedy the situation. We gladly accept the offer but never returned on a friday as a class since.

They treat their patrons like shit and wonder why they don't make any money.

Being at a similiar UPT base right now I can say that the club rapes the students here. However, the IPs here have a solution. Don't have drop or graduation at the club until you force the club to have reasonable prices and force the leadership to stop being so PC. The security forces on this base park right outside the club or have even been seen in the club in the back room(behind the bar) waiting to catch drunk stupid people. Have the party somewhere else. For God sakes it will take less time to organize a party at another bar, country club, or whatever. It will be cheaper, more fun, and you can go ape shit as much as you like. Strippers, booze, hot wax on the nipples, whatever. If the leadership forces you to have drop at the club, fine. Have a piece of paper with all the names of the students and their assignments stick it up on the wall and go off base and party. ###### them. You fullfill the requirement but still stick it to them.Make them realize how insignificant their rules have gotten. They can't tell you to buy kegs of beer at the club for drop or graduation. Imagine if they tried and someone got in trouble due to them forcing you to buy booze at the club.

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Being at a similiar UPT base right now I can say that the club rapes the students here. However, the IPs here have a solution. Don't have drop or graduation at the club until you force the club to have reasonable prices and force the leadership to stop being so PC. The security forces on this base park right outside the club or have even been seen in the club in the back room(behind the bar) waiting to catch drunk stupid people. Have the party somewhere else. For God sakes it will take less time to organize a party at another bar, country club, or whatever. It will be cheaper, more fun, and you can go ape shit as much as you like. Strippers, booze, hot wax on the nipples, whatever. If the leadership forces you to have drop at the club, fine. Have a piece of paper with all the names of the students and their assignments stick it up on the wall and go off base and party. ###### them. You fullfill the requirement but still stick it to them.Make them realize how insignificant their rules have gotten. They can't tell you to buy kegs of beer at the club for drop or graduation. Imagine if they tried and someone got in trouble due to them forcing you to buy booze at the club.

Actually we did exactly that. The minute our drop ended, about 1930, we piled in to cars with our friends and families and headed to the country club in town. There we drank, socialized and enjoyed great service all night til 3am. We even had pizza delivered at midnight with no hassle.

Edited by XL0901
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Being at a similiar UPT base right now I can say that the club rapes the students here. However, the IPs here have a solution. Don't have drop or graduation at the club until you force the club to have reasonable prices and force the leadership to stop being so PC. The security forces on this base park right outside the club or have even been seen in the club in the back room(behind the bar) waiting to catch drunk stupid people. Have the party somewhere else. For God sakes it will take less time to organize a party at another bar, country club, or whatever. It will be cheaper, more fun, and you can go ape shit as much as you like. Strippers, booze, hot wax on the nipples, whatever. If the leadership forces you to have drop at the club, fine. Have a piece of paper with all the names of the students and their assignments stick it up on the wall and go off base and party. ###### them. You fullfill the requirement but still stick it to them.Make them realize how insignificant their rules have gotten. They can't tell you to buy kegs of beer at the club for drop or graduation. Imagine if they tried and someone got in trouble due to them forcing you to buy booze at the club.

We planned exactly that at Corpus. Then the commodore (WG/CC) took us aside right after we got our wings and hazed the shit out of us . . . threatened to de-wing/captain's mast/etc anyone who got in the least bit of trouble, with repercussions on leadership, etc etc. It was insane. Don't think the assholes in charge won't use their authority illegally to make you use their overpriced, extortionist facilities . . .

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