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Fud last won the day on March 23 2016

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  1. Fud


    Look up Greg Parsons on facebook. He has an affidavit template that you can pay for and it is excellent. Also, check out this link. Great book that can be bought on kindle or viewed for free online. Great resource on divorce. http://www.realworlddivorce.com/
  2. Fud


    I've read some interesting advice on here and will provide the following. 1. Realize the need to always be reasonable, but do not be a doormat to her demands. Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, and you should never give away something without gaining something in return. 2. Always ask for what is reasonable in court. The party who is unreasonable will not get everything they want. 3. Your ex sounds like an alcoholic and someone who would rather be out with her boyfriend than taking care of the children. Have your lawyer use this to your advantage. 4. Manage your lawyer, they work for you. Not the other way around. 5. Set precedent, if able, to only receive communications via email or a service like myfamilywizard. BTW, MFW is free for Vets and Active duty, but costs the non-Veteran. 6. VA Compensation is not divisable in divorce. It is not an asset or considered income in child support or alimony calculations. 7. Finally, for now, remember that everything you agree to in the beginning, can/will likely be permanent in the future. Do not budge on custody if you want 50/50. Best of luck.
  3. It was great catching up with you as well Jon.
  4. I just closed on my new home while utilizing Trident Home Loans as my lender. Seamless process throughout and no issues, even though mine was a somewhat complicated situation. We closed with a 30 year VA loan with a 3.875% Interest Rate. I highly recommend Trident, and my local real estate agent was phenomenally impressed with this organization. Thank you to Jon, Lisa, and Bri for their help!
  5. Huge 2 on this. Best of luck.
  6. I'm sorry for the situation you're going through. While I'm off Active Duty now, I have some advice as well. I'm at the tail end of divorcing an alcoholic and it has been brutal. Our marriage problems started two months after we tied the knot when she cheated on me, with a former groomsman, while I was away TDY. I forgave her and we had three sons together, even though the cheating continued. Even though the divorce is emotionally tough and financially draining, I'm honestly happier than I've ever been. My advice: 1. Always think about the children's best interests (if you have kids), and never make it about you or your ex or your problems. Never badmouth the other parent to your kids, because they will figure it out in the long run. 2. Push for 50/50 custody (legal and physical) of your kids if you can. Kids raised with equal time are far less likely to have substance abuse problems in the future. I'd be happier if my kids were primarily with me, but I'm very fortunate, as a man to have my kids week on week off. 3. Realize that money and stuff is just money and stuff. I gave the ex everything on the list she wanted, but I am fighting tooth and nail to prevent alimony. What I mean here is that you will likely blow through all of your assets and be in debt at the end of the divorce. Even worse if you have to pay alimony and child support. 4. This really should be number one. If you are thinking about divorce, I guarantee that she is already twelve steps ahead of you. Document everything and have witnesses who will testify to your character as a parent and a spouse. See if your STBX is willing to move out and go to rehab. I told my ex that if she didn't go to AA, then I was leaving her. Her parents could also be one of your biggest allies if you play your cards right. This is a slam dunk for custody. 5. Start listening to every podcast (dadsdivorce, etc.) or videos on youtube. You also need to understand how the law works in the state you're in. 6. Hire a private investigator if needed. The thousands of dollars I spent equated to cinematic gold that will be shown in the courtroom (I live in an at fault state). I could put about 1000 things on this list, but you can PM me for any more advice. Best of luck to you.
  7. I don't understand why people feel like taking a stand on something as simple as signing a certificate. I'm not a fan of someone shoving their religious beliefs, sexual orientation, or political views in my face though.
  8. I left the USAF for numerous reasons, and am very glad I did. The political correctness, SAPR training, and the focus on doing less with more was always prevalent and quite maddening. I got out and had a job lined up as a financial advisor. When the company told me they would not pay the original salary, but only give me commissions, I chose to vote with my feet. It was a nice feeling, but it was also very stressful at the time. I went on numerous job interviews and to numerous military/veteran related job fairs. It was an interesting experience, but here is what I learned. 1. Most of the job fairs you attend will just be to drop off your resume. You need to focus on the events that have no-kidding interviews on site at the job fair. The resume collectors were a waste of time. 2. Look into working overseas. I thought about being a merchant mariner for a while and went through the process. The money is great, and you get to travel. However, all of the men I spoke with had been divorced at least once. Not a great job for a family. 3. Put your resume out everywhere. I applied for over two hundred jobs on USAjobs.gov and got nowhere. After receiving my VA disability rating, I was contacted by the Wounded Warrior Foundation's Recruit Military branch. I was offered a high paying (all relative) job, with great benefits, and I love where I am living now. Wouldn't change it for the world. There is life outside of the military, but the reserves keep trying to call me back because of the benefits. I have nothing against the reserves, but if I couldn't fly, then I didn't want to do it. I also found that numerous companies say they care about Veterans, but it is up to the individual to figure out what they truly want to do for a living.
  9. Huge 2 on this. I would not be surprised to see people join up just to get the surgery and then leave Active Duty service after getting the elective surgery. The entitlement mentality is growing by leaps and bounds in this country, and I do not like it one bit.
  10. M2, could you PM me the SIPR link for baseops? I'm not sure how to get there. I just watched two phenomenal documentaries about the deep/dark web on Hulu (can't remember the title) and one about bitcoin. Very interesting stuff. From my limited understanding, the deep web is just a bunch of non-indexed sites on the regular internet requiring special software (TOR) to get to them.
  11. I went to four job fairs in roughly 5 months of unemployment after accepting VSP. I never had much luck at the job fairs, as all you do is pass out a resume and speak with people who aren't the hiring managers. There are job fairs, where there are hiring managers who will fill open positions through interviews. It's all a numbers game. Network and submit your resumes everywhere. When I ended up getting a great offer, I realized that I had utilized the Wounded Warrior Program and never specifically applied for my position. Life is great nearly two years later.
  12. My last assignment was in the IG office (hearing complaints/Director of Inspections). The first thing the IG will ask you is if you attempted to resolve this issue with your chain of command. I would recommend what has already been said by going to your CC and allowing them to handle the issue. I would also have a summary document on top of your records stating just the facts with supporting documentation behind it. This will show that you are proactive, and it will make things much easier. Most people do not realize that making a Congressional complaint will trigger the IG at the lowest possible level to investigate the issue (i.e. the complaint will be sent down to the lowest command level possible). This was at least how it was when I got out a few years ago.
  13. Not sure why you're paying her medical bills since she is only your girlfriend, but I don't personally know your situation. In regard to your security clearance, based on the facts you've presented, you should be okay if that is the only thing in your past or present.
  14. I love how leadership thinks they can actually control this in an effective manner, especially with civilians. No wonder the clubs are no longer any fun or are shut down. I have been out of the service for a while, but still don't enjoy drinking with my coworkers. It seems to only lead to trouble. You can't really control people or really save them from themselves. People who drink and drive will drink and drive. People who want to end their lives will. We tend to go full retard and go into accident/risk prevention mode on numerous issues in all service.
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