Steve Davies Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 A very crusty old fighter pilot recently sent me an email in which he espoused the use of several of the "eight great lies". The five were: 1) "I'll respect you in the morning" 2) "I'll only put the head in" 3) "I promise I won't come in your mouth" 4) "Parts plus two hours" 5) "I'm not the regular crew chief" So, who can say what the missing three are? And do you have any of your own to contribute? I had heard "the cheque's in the post" was one, but I can't be sure... Ideas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulture Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "I was just about to call you..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clayton Bigsby Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "The crew bus is on it's way", told by base command post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LDTW Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "I'm listening." "I respect you as a woman." "Sure, I will courtesy tap." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperWSO Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 I was always told the two biggest lies in the Air Force occur when the inspection team show up and says "We're here to help you" and the Wing Commander responds with "We're glad to have you" How about AFPC - "Take this assignment, and we will give you a great follow-on." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Varmint Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "Closed for 'training'" (whatever shop you prefer). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toro Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 2) "I'll only put the head in" 3) "I promise I won't come in your mouth" Not sure about the missing three, but those two, plus "This'll only hurt for a little while" are from David Allan Coe's "Three Biggest Lies in the World" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yzl337 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Not sure about the missing three, but those two, plus "This'll only hurt for a little while" are from David Allan Coe's "Three Biggest Lies in the World" Ahhh, a fellow DAC fan. You have great taste in redneck country music! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SATCOM Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 Told to millions of G.I.'s through the years...... "You sign up and complete 20 years in the US military and you'll have FREE Medical and Dental care for the rest of your life" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AceTomatoCo Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alpharatz Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "You're the only crew available" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toasty Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "The crew bus is on it's way", told by base command post. You got that right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ATC Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you" And the required lie response: "glad to see you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scooter14 Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "Closed for 'training'" (whatever shop you prefer). The training part may be the lie, but the closed part isnt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawnman Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 "We don't have a good ETIC, but we'll call you when it's ready." Or, any ETIC given. The rule of thumb around here is double it and add 20 minutes, and you're in the same ballpark as reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lj35driver Posted January 1, 2009 Share Posted January 1, 2009 As seen on many doors at the MPF- We apologize for the inconvenience, but all office personnel will be attending PT from 1100-1300 Mon, Wed, and Fri. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
summe32c Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 "I've never busted minimums"..."I've got 2500 hours TT and 1000 of actual IMC" -summers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadMac Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 "You're the only crew available" I got in a lot of trouble with that one. Thinking back on it, telling the XO, "I guess you'll just have to get your magic hat and pull another gunner out of it" wasn't my smartest career move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JarheadBoom Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 (edited) - Anything the AF generates that contains the phrase "in order to serve you better". Edited January 2, 2009 by JarheadBoom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DC Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 "The crew bus is on it's way", told by base command post. HA! This is my biggest pet peeve in the Air Force. While waiting for the crew bus (and waiting, and waiting) at ETAR and seeing the pax buses lined up nicely doing nothing I can see how people get so mad at the picture of the school buses in the flooded parking lot during Katrina. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Safe&Clear Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 "The crew bus is on it's way", told by base command post. If they'd put the squadrons back on the flight line, where they belong, we wouldn't need crew busses. (But of course that's pointless unless they can come up with a way to park the airplanes adjacent to their respective squadrons-- that would be complicated.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallingOsh Posted January 5, 2009 Share Posted January 5, 2009 I got in a lot of trouble with that one. Thinking back on it, telling the XO, "I guess you'll just have to get your magic hat and pull another gunner out of it" wasn't my smartest career move. My wife's grandfather said something to that effect when he wasn't comfortable with the situation. The aircraft crashed and killed everyone on board. 'Not the smartest career move' saved his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuck Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 "I'm a fighter pilot." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FallingOsh Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 "I'm a fighter pilot." Or "I'm a fighter pilot. I'd rather talk about something else now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WeMeantWell Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 "You ok to drive?" "yeah" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now