I’m 2-0 in divorces. It’s them, not me...of course. Follow these steps:
Make sure she doesn’t have any access to any of your money.
Don’t trust anything she says.
Get a lawyer with regard to family law (www.avvo.com). Your local JAG can give you free legal advice and/or referrals to some civilians.
Don’t say crazy shit on social media. If she says crazy shit on social media, make copies of it.
Hit the gym.
Don’t force people to “pick sides.” If you want to talk about it, talk about it, but you’ll much better off not bad mouthing her to mutual friends.
We didn’t have kids, which makes it 169% easier. If you gave her the Post 9/11 G.I. Bill, you can revoke it back to you. Good luck, it’s starting over, but it’s nice.