A man is drinking alone in a bar when a pretty girl walks in. She orders two double shots, and kills 'em both in seconds. The man, who hasn't said a word all night, asks the woman why she's drinking so heavy this evening. She looks over and says "My bastard boyfriend just broke up with me. He said I was just too kinky for him". At this, the man perks up and exclaims "No way! My girlfriend just broke up with me because I'm too kinky!"
Well, soon after they decide to ditch the bar and head back to her place to get a bit crazy. Immediately after walking into her apartment, the lady locks the door, releases a sex swing from the ceiling, and tells him that she's going to change into something more "comfortable".
A few minutes later she walks out of her room in a full leather S&M outfit, complete with a riding crop and chains. To her surprise, though, the guys is zipping up his pants and unlocking the door. She is taken aback, and asks "What the hell?! I thought we were going to get kinky!", to which the guy responds, as he's walking out the door, "Lady, I just ######ed your dog and shit in your purse! What else do you want from me?"