Jenkspaz

Streak nuts? That sucks.

"Bring me to this rock that has the most incredibly life!" Are you f*cking kidding me? You'd think that as much as they know about trees, ROCKS ARE NOT F*CKING ALIVE! Sorry for the outburst, but these people need to be put away and given large doses of medication.

I love how many classy lines are scattered throughout the text: “I went to her place for sex, not to be tattooed... I hate her.” "She told me we did it in different positions." “I said yes straight away. It was clear she meant to have sex." Just amazing. Simply amazing.

Really good article, just posted today, about the new class of instructors for the JSF. Also has a good timeline for production, training, operations, etc. 10 pilots chosen as 1st instructors for F-35

Here's a recent article about the future of Luke: Court case to decide future for Luke AFB

It depends on your rank. If you're an Lt, expect to take some sh*t. But if you're a Capt, well, then line those dudes up and remind them who they work for!

F-16 pilots chosen as first F-35 instructors

It's not long enough.

Could this actually be... I mean... is it possible that this actually is... damnit, I'm too nervous to say it...

What he means is: "I'm putting you on our sh*t list." Now everytime you go to see them, not only will you get the stink eye from just about everyone except the new guy, but they'll make extra certain that they beat the hell out of your gums even more then they did before. Soooo.... congrats!

My situation isn't that complicated, but it follows along some of the same lines: Earlier last year I claimed residency in Missouri, but lived in Kansas. I also worked in Kansas for 4 months. Then I moved to TX. I now claim residency here, and work here full time. I used TurboTax this year, and they ask every question step-by-step. VERY easy to use. If you want to try it out, you can start it online for free and see if you like it or not.

Heh heh heh... WHAT?

Hell, I even hate going in there just for a cleaning The last time I went in, I had some big, burly TSgt try to floss all the way down to my jaw bone and saw my tooth out of my skull. I miss the hot dental assistants from back when I was younger!

God I hope that's not true. We already can't afford planes that we need. Now we're going to buy a plane that we DON'T need? If we want to keep the costs down for other services/allies, let's just convince some other country that they're "really cool" so that they'll buy a few more.

Ha. Make sure that if your shoes and socks are having a party, don't invite your pants. They probably won't get along.

But only on a Monday.

I'd like to thank all of the producers for allowing me to be part of such an awesome project. And of course, we couldn't have done it without the amazing writing talents and visionary thought of Tracer. This award's for you, buddy!

And don't forget to wear your reflective belt. Remeber: "Safety is #1 in the Air Force, and if you wear your reflective belt, you'll be #2!" Along those lines, if I were wearing my ABU blouse, my blues plants, AND my reflective belt, would I be out of regs because I am wearing three uniform items? I need to know quickly because I'm about to go to the O Club and it's dark outside.

He probably accidentally buried the rake, with, I don't know, his plane!

For those of you using TurboTax this year for your filings: be very careful about letting the software grab your info from your investment companies (for those that have mutual funds/stocks/etc.) I clicked "Import All" for my various financial institutions, and out of ######in' nowhere, I owed the government almost $1500!!! What I did this year was take my "failing" investments and transfered them into my Roth IRA to boost my contriubutions for this year (I usually put my own hard earned dollars into my IRA, but this year, decided it was best to reinvest my hard earned dollars to Budweiser and move some of my other funds around, instead). Turns out, TurboTax's automated system saw all of my "sells" into other accounts as taxable income. But what "I saw" was me transfering failing funds into other failing funds. When you file your 1099-Bs, enter all of the values yourself. For me, my average cost basis (which is not accounted for when you let TurboTax import your info for you) was higher than my realized returns. Which means, my long term capital gains were $0.00. I understand that's a terrible year for inverstors, but at least I filed it "how it really happened" on my tax forms. Not only did I save myself from owing anything to the government, but I got I nice boost for the money that I actually did put into my IRA. Most of the time it's easier to let TurboTax enter your info for you, but this year (at least in my case), it was much more accurate to do it myself. Plus, I got to take advantage of a TON of wash sales that I took part in over the year! HELLO TAX RETURN!

Should read: "I'm Sorry: I didn't see you there. I was staring at my incredibly hot, young wife!"

So can the Mud Hen...

Well, at least we know he won't be able to do it again! Pull his eye out, that is...

"Are you wearing a condom?" "Yes."