You have got lots of good advice about lawyers and money.
You mentioned you have two kids. Keep in mind that there will actually be a time when the emotion/anger/frustration towards your wife is gone. It will be gone for her too. You both will move on. When the dust settles, it's the kids that are left with all the emotion and love for both of you. As hard as it is, you need to look past the bullshit and find a solution that benefits your children. It's not about you or her anymore.