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Duff_Man

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Everything posted by Duff_Man

  1. Nooo!!!! They can have San Francisco, but TIJUANA IS TOO DAMN FAR! Where will we go for donkey shows, disgusting strippers, food-poison tacos, and cheap booze?!
  2. Probably because we sanctioned Twinkies and KFC. That dude is like the Asian version of Eric Cartman and fat people get moody when you take their processed food away.
  3. I read in this awesome spy handbook written by some dude named Sterling Archer that as long as you don't tell a honeypot anything useful your only risk is getting a torn rotator cuff from high-fiving everybody. Clearly this guy didn't do it right.
  4. We treat ANA, ANP, GIRoA, and Afghan civilians the same as Americans with respect to medevac. Every time a civilian got in a car wreck or blown up by a suicide bomber we'd bring them back to the FOB, fly in a bird from KAF, and medevac them to the first-world trauma center. If the casualty was a woman, we'd send a related male escort with them, otherwise the locals would kill her when she got back because they thought she was raped by Americans. Also, I saw the clip where all the ANA guys tried to climb on the bird, were being thrown off, and the narrator said that this might cause green-on-blue. In all but one case, the only green on blue violence I ever heard of was because the Taliban kidnapped some ANA guy's family and told him that if he didn't kill Americans they'd execute his entire extended family. Outside of the bigger bases, the ANA actually shoulder a huge load and an even bigger share of the casualties. They always got killed being stupid though, picking up UXOs, not taking cover, rolling their Ranger pickups on highway 1, etc. We worked really closely with them, very often, and had very few negative experiences, aside from them doing dangerous, stupid shit.
  5. My Dad has been an IRR Major for the last 20 years. Granted, he took an incentive to separate under the Clinton/Bush cuts, so maybe that changed things, but I'm pretty sure he's still eligible to join the ANG (he entertained the idea for a bit), he was called up for a physical after 9/11, he gets his ID card updated regularly and it's still a Major Reserve ID, so in other words, it's been 20 years and he's still a Major. Plus Army officers have been getting called up years after they separated and became IRR. I always thought you were an officer for life unless you officially resign your commission... Am I missing something?
  6. I'll give them 10 points for the Hollywood pose, but 0 points for tactical effectiveness since they're firing with their eyes closed, from the hip, without any cover or concealment, in lime-green polka dot pajamas in a brown field. Now the peasant militia in ghillie suits with what look to be grenade launchers... That's a little unnerving, but it doesn't look like any of them actually have ammo and they clump up like an AYSO soccer team, so a single M249 gunner with a nutsack would probably have a field day. By the way, a nutsack is a 100 round assault pouch.
  7. You guys deserve the Distinguished Warfare Medal for being able to watch that whole thing. You know those people who compulsively post way too much superfluous BS on Facebook that's just so amazingly insignificant it infuriates you that you spent 0.69 seconds reading it? Well, that's just a much longer video version of that. For everyone who hasn't seen it, I'll summarize: Inherently annoying girl with 80s hairstyle that pre-dates her birth whines/rambles about not making the government version of the high school band and dog-sitting on a Saturday night. It is apparent the dog also hates her and fakes sleeping to be left alone. She also seems completely oblivious that her company's primary job is killing and undoubtedly annoys said war fighters by screwing up their travel vouchers and PCS orders. That's all I could stand, so if something really entertaining happened after that, then I missed it.
  8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=UONvDIjE5wMWatch this video. He's a way bigger moron/douche bag than that article lets on. Rodman just bought Un a bunch of credibility with his own people, which buys Un more time to build his nukes and undermines all of the American officials who actually matter. I hate this guy right now; I mean I'm sure Kim is a nice guy when you get past the murdering, oppression, torture, raping (I'm assuming there's raping), death camps, and complete disregard for the well being of the millions of citizens who rely on him, but personally, I think those actions speak pretty loudly.
  9. It could be the military discipline and structure: Or the Personnel Flight. Without them charging me for leave out of the blue, that I cancelled 2 years ago, I wouldn't have stayed:
  10. I don't know if it was this Air Force band or another one, but when we were deployed our PAIO asked them to play at our FOB. The funny thing is that when we told them they had to bring their body armor and weapons they responded with something along the lines of "well if we need weapons and body armor, then it's too dangerous for us there." The way I see it, if they're only here to support the troops, so long as it doesn't require them to 'rough it' in anything less than a 3 star hotel on a base safely out of harms way (and here I was, thinking they were in the military), then I think the money would be better spent on jet fuel. On top of that, have you ever met someone who said "gee, if it weren't for Tops in Blue I'd never have joined/stayed in the Air Force"? No? Do they travel to austere locations that WWF wrestlers, country singers, and B-List rock bands don't? Not in my experience. And how much do they cost again? Roughly xx personnel plus support staff who are perpetually TDY and burning up DTS, plus equipment maintenance, plus the cost in disruption to the mission and resources at bases where they perform, plus some other stuff I'm sure I'm missing... All I'm saying is that when you get poor, you gotta settle for basic cable.Edited for iPhone grammar
  11. Oh yeah, and I guess there's all of this stuff too. This is a little more extreme than what we went through. We were just annoyed when a female would ride in our MRAPs because it meant we couldn't urinate in empty gatorade bottles unless it was a borderline emergency. We didn't have to stand around naked, getting hosed off with a pressure washer.
  12. The bathrooms at Kandahar are the last bastion. A typical bathroom experience in a Porta-potty at Kandahar is like giving yourself a Dutch oven in a humid, plastic closet, filled with poo, that's been baking in a 110 degree dusty desert, under a nuclear devil sun, all day. The only things that bring an ounce of joy to the experience are the pieces of immature humor on the walls (reference below). And when they paint over aforementioned art, it regenerates faster than Homer Simpson's beard, like a giant genital-laden etch-a-sketch. Then you stumble outside, choking, and for a second, you don't mind the Poo Pond. Who ever drew this gem in a Kandahar Cadillac needs to be hunted down and handed an ARCOM for boosting the morale of hundreds of people a day, in the worst place on Earth. But I guess I digressed a little. I don't really think many people care about women serving in any job as long as they're not given ANY preferential treatment. 100 points on the female APFT run is something like 15:36, which is a 64 on the male scale, and by the way, below 60 is failing for infantry. But I think being able to compete with men physically extends much further than the 3 exercises on the APFT. It also means being able to hump 70-80 lbs of gear on 5 miles outbound from the FOB on a dismounted patrol over unimproved terrain in 8000' mountains at the same speed as the male counterparts and having enough energy for the 1 hour TIC on the return trip. It also means being strong enough to kick in doors and fight male combatants room-to-room in MOUT. If there's a woman out there who can do all that just as well as the man who would otherwise be in her place, then great, welcome aboard. But if woman are injected into units on 'weighted' scales which risk the lives of the entire unit, this 'program' will forever lose credibility.
  13. I was deployed with the Army and they were pretty fond of POG, rear echelon mother f*cker (they never used the acronym), and FOBBIT. They also called junk food POGey bait and old Afghans were called wizards because of the beards, walking sticks, and man-jams. The last one might've just been popular on our team though.
  14. I'll second Spaceman Spiff up there. A LOT of dudes lose their pilot slots along the way for lots of reasons, some of which is in their control, some of which are out of their control. I had a buddy who failed his FC1 because he missed the color vision test by 1 too many questions. He even said he saw the 'correct' number on the last slide right after he blurted the wrong answer. Was he color blind? Probably. Was he so color blind that he had ever been aware of it before the FC1? Probably not. I knew a few other people who got washed out at Brooks for issues they weren't even aware of beforehand (I know it's WPAFB now). Shit happens. I know a couple dudes who ended up as civil engineers because they would get uncontrollably airsick and I knew a couple guys who washed out of IFS, hated their newly assigned AFSC, and then realized that this isn't the best economy for a sociology degree. You really only get one shot at college and if you waste it on a degree that won't get you a job, then you're betting however much college cost ($50-100k and 4-5 years?) on a solid flight medical and successful completion of IFS, a year of UPT, and whatever follow on training you have. I'm not trying to be a downer, but the reality of it is that you'd be really smart to have a Plan B, C, D, and maybe E in case Plan A doesn't work out. Nobody counts on failing or getting washed out, but they do anyway. On the flip side though, if you know EEs are getting screwed over and you're a first semester junior in EE, you might wanna pay a visit to your school counselor and then your cadre to see if you can switch to Aero or Mech or something and still graduate on time.
  15. Edit: fixed link once and for all
  16. I really hope someone is stockpiling all of that heritage instead of burning it in a pile on the parade field like Fahrenheit 451. Call me crazy, but isn't the root of the problem that people aren't being punished for sexual assault, despite being caught red-handed (sts)?
  17. Here's something to consider, and I'm going to be really blunt and tell you something I would rather say privately, face-to-face (sts), not because I'm an asshole (actually I probably am), but because you need to understand this. When you said you dumped your girlfriend to get your foot in the door, that seemed kinda shitty because you essentially screwed over someone who you should've cared about. It's good to be ruthless in combat, but not against the people who are supposed to matter to you and it's indicative that you might screw over bros to get ahead in the future. I'm sure there's more to the story and lord knows we don't want to hear it, but thats what I gathered from the way you explained it. Also, it does seem like you're trying to do/be whatever impresses the board the most. This won't work because they'll think they just met your 'representative', not you, and they won't have a clue who 'you' really are. This is a big deal if they're going to have to hang around you for another 20 years. It also reeks of insecurity because it means you don't think your true personality is good enough. And maybe your true personality isn't a good enough match right now, I'm not going to sugar-coat it. There are literally hundreds of people applying for this job, and they're going to find someone who truly is what they're looking for instead of someone whose putting on a show or trying to be what they think the unit wants, and every unit is looking for a different personality. But that's why it's so important that whatever you do, you do it for your own enjoyment and not for anybody else. If you love flying, great! Do that. But if you think you might regret the money or time invested in flying an aerobatic glider if you don't get hired by the Guard, then you might be doing it for the wrong reasons. I don't know you at all, but I do think that the above guidance can help you and whoever else reads this in the long run.
  18. This cracks me up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4A_18kf4PY
  19. Everything dated back almost a decade, until she found porn on SIPR. That's a long time to hold a grudge.
  20. Man, you can complain about anything. That sounds like a sweet excuse to go into town and make a bad name for Americans (or good name, since most of the Brits I've met party pretty damn hard).
  21. They're battling that stereotype with me right now. If I see an adult male wearing a Bronies shirt, wandering around a school zone or a Chuck E. Cheese's, I'm calling the cops.
  22. Yeah, go ugly early. Seriously though, let's just hope he doesn't do something to piss her off and make her hate everyone in the military, like just about every other girl who lives within 50 miles of any UPT base.
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