Moody UPT stud writes to Playboy Advisor

[Guest sleepy]

See B.C. from Valdosta's letter in the Ocotber '06 issue.

The gist of the letter to the Advisor was that he and his bros were having a hard time picking up chicks. Seems they didn't want anything to do with Air Force folks.

Anyone got any suggested answers for this guy when the age-old question arises: What do you do for a living?

My answer: As little as possible.

[Ill Destructor]

Man... truth is that it doesn't matter. Attraction is not a logical thing and has nothing to do with what job you have. So tell them you're a pilot in the Air Force. B.C. from Valdosta is failing to attract a woman 'cause he's probably playing the "nice guy." That's always a bad idea and never works. (There's a reason we have the cliche of "nice guys finish last.") Truth is, if a woman is attracted to a man, she'll accept pretty much anything... from an abusive boyfriend to an Air Force pilot. So the fact that this man is having trouble picking up chicks is completely independent of his career choice.

My advice to B.C. would be to quit trying so hard. Just go out, be yourself and don't try to woo a woman with gifts, compliments and by giving her the power. You're a man. Men women are attracted to don't ask permission for most things. They do what they want. So go out, show some self-confidence maybe even a little cockiness. Truthfully, once you stop trying so hard, it gets easier.

[ 12. September 2006, 15:53: Message edited by: Ill Destructor ]

[HerkDerka]

Originally posted by Ill Destructor:

Man... truth is that it doesn't matter. Attraction is not a logical thing and has nothing to do with what job you have. So tell them you're a pilot in the Air Force.

Ummm yeah. That doesn't exactly work in UPT towns.

Sleepy, here's the short list:

-Retarded dolphin rehabilitation

-Blimp mechanic

-ICBM pilot

-Offshore oil driller

-Key grip for indie films

-Free clinic podiatrist

-Single "A" baseball umpire

HD

[ViperStud]

Don't forget the golden ones, at least for Wichita Falls and Phoenix:

Blimp Folder

Weather Balloon Catcher

Manatee Trainer

And the single best spoofer job ever: Oil Well Balancer. Spew out some engineering crap about how derricks are always moving back and forth and would break if they weren't balanced. Casually mention that you dad owns the oil field.

If she's not a retard barfly and looks at you like you are crazy, stick with Ill's advice. Tell the truth. Confuscious say "when I talk about 500 knots and 9 G's, all the womens' panties...fall to their knees."

Now you know, and knowing is half the battle...

[CrateOfThunder]

Shoelace Tipper

Ice bag bagger

candlestick wicker

[ 12. September 2006, 17:33: Message edited by: CrateOfThunder ]

[Fast_N_Low135]

Don't forget volunteer gynacologist, chicks love volunteers.

[Guest sickels101]

My personal favorite. . .professional rodeo clown.

[Guest sleepy]

Now that's what I'm talking 'bout. I don't know what ballgame Ill Destructor is playing. I mean, the kind of girls B.C. is trying to pick up are the same girls that think fellatio is a foot disease. Dolphin trainer. HA!

Hopefully, Hef won't mind that I quote from his mag. Here's the whole thing:

I am training to be an Air Force pilot; I also drive a sports car, have my own place and am known for being outgoing and funny (and humble). So why do my classmates and I find we get more attention from women when we claim to be bums? The minute we mention the Air Force, flying, goals, etc., it's like a switch goes off and the woman isn't interested. But if we say we don't have a job, live with our parents and mow lawns for a living, we do okay.--B.C., Valdosta, Georgia

The women in Valdosta bars have met enough young flyers to know that (1) they are not going to stick around and (2) they like to talk about flying. If you want to stand out, talk about something else, or better still, ask about her life. Or present this dilemma and gather feedback. It's a good conversation starter, and you may learn quite a bit.

B.C., we're doing our best to help. Seriously.

HD...free clinic podiatrist. Now that IS disgusting.

The last one I got was attracted because I could still sing four-part harmony (she must have been tone deaf) while double-fisting Dickel/Sprite and Miller Lite. Nice.

Ah, Beerman...the professional bass fisherman. Women love me, fish fear me.

Someone, please, help save this thread. It could be a good one.

[Guest PilotKD]

Most UPT students get their reputation for a reason. Because someone fvcked it up in the past. Word spreads quickly in small towns.

Moody was full of stuck up small town GA girls. Valdosta State was something like 60% female and I'd say 75% of them were drop dead hot. Great eye candy, but very hard to score (from what I heard from my single flightmates).

[Guest SpectrePilot]

Down here in Corpus Christi, make up a job that involves working with children. They'll love you. Because they all have at least one of their own... S&C

[Guest SpectrePilot]

Oh, and whoever you are: Stop driving a sports car. Southern women have no respect for them. Get a pickup-- preferably full-size and American made. Chevy Z71 has always been popular.

It may not help you directly, but at least you won't feel like the typical cheeseball UPT stud anymore...

[Guest LLoyd McPherson]

Tell the "babes" that you are a 130 crewchief always worked for me....

Or as the 130 pilots did go ugly early and beat the rush....

[Guest PilotKD]

Originally posted by Safe&Clear:

Oh, and whoever you are: Stop driving a sports car. Southern women have no respect for them. Get a pickup-- preferably full-size and American made. Chevy Z71 has always been popular.

Hmmm... score the woman or keep the sports car? I'd go with keeping the sports car. Less complaining and probably a lot cheaper in the long run.

But, if you do go with the pickup, don't forget the gun rack.

[Guest Mary G]

A couple I came up with for my fellow crew members:

- #4 Hot air balloon crew chief (that way there's always room for the #1,2,or 3 . . . however many crew members you need to account for)

- QC on party favors and such (you can go on endlessly with this one: testing the little drink umbrellas, making sure that the plastic harmonicas play a tune)

- Any time you're in Vegas for a flag/air warrior/etc. just say you're in town for some convention. And I agree with Beerman, the more obsure the better.

Just glad I haven't fallen for any of these . . . wait . . . oh ok, at least not yet.

[Guest thegotoguy]

The "Im a Wal-Mart Greeter" usually works pretty well!!! No BS....

[Bergman]

Just tell them that you are in the "high speed aluminum tubing business".

[EvilEagle]

My personal favorite: "I'm a zambony (Sp?) driver."

[Guest rumblefish_2]

My most successful fake job is to say I'm in town for a magazine editor's convention (choosing your city wisely, of course; a little far-fetched for Enid). You'd be surprised at what chicks will tell you when they think you'l put it in your next issue of Men's Health. "Uh yeah, my latest article is about non-verbal cues women like to use in the bedroom. What are some you use?"

[dmeg130]

Gee, having a hard time picking up girls in Valdosta? First, why would you want to? Second, two words: Tallahassee and Gainesville. If you morons can't figure out that the Remerton crowd ain't exactly the best and brightest, then by all means, keep pluggin' away at Mellow Mushroom. And watch "Officer and a Gentleman" while you're at it.

The gene pool in Valdosta has been systematically depleted over the past sixty years enough to render its inhabitants on par with Deliverance. Get out of town!

[Rocker]

Originally posted by Stagger Lee:

Or as the 130 pilots did go ugly early and beat the rush.

Funny, that was my game plan most of the time back in the college years.

A couple of jobs:

-Musician

-Freelance Massage Therapist

-Forensic Entymologist

-Animitronic Donkey Breeder

-Part owner of a new hip restaurant in the nearest big city (and then when she says she's from there and goes out all the time and has never heard of it, accuse her of probably not having many friends and not getting out much)

-Sexual Position Inventor (though just start off with "inventor")

And of course when/if you make the elusive "score" and don't want to continue communication with the other party, or just plain meet someone who won't get off your case (the stage five clinger), give them your number, which of course is: 713-866-6249.

[Vetter]

I broke in St Louis a few months after Hurrican Katrina. I had a woman convinced that I was the Shrimp Boat Captian of the "Strikin' Snake" and I sailed up the Mississippi River to get away from Katrina. Then I told her since my dock had gotten blown away and the shimp fishing was good in the Mississippi River near St Louis so I had decided to stay. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I told her I was really a pilot...she scoffed, accused me of lying to her, and walked away.

[Dirtbag]

Rocker

-Animitronic Donkey Breeder-

I've got to try this one.

[egochecks]

Originally posted by PilotKD:

Moody was full of stuck up small town GA girls. Valdosta State was something like 60% female and I'd say 75% of them were drop dead hot. Great eye candy, but very hard to score (from what I heard from my single flightmates).

I say switch colognes. Maybe try Sex Panther.

"It's made with bits of real panther so you know it's good. They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time."

"That doesn't make sense."

[HeloDude]

I'm a fan of using 'Mannequin salesman' (borrowed from one of my FE's...thanks James ). When they ask you to explain, just give them a silly mannequin pose. Just be prepared to be able to bullsh*t their questions. For example, once in Destin, I told a girl I was a 'rodeo clown' and she then asked me what circuit I was in. My response "Ummm...the main one'. Needless to say she wasn't too impressed.

[Guest ereforseroolz]

OK, first let me say... I had no idea playboy was going to print that little gem. It was born of a bitter night of whiskey and cokes... alone. It was a nice little surprise to get an email from my USEM(you know, the guy who gives your class stand ups) asking how I was faring with the ladies down here in corpus with a copy of the article pasted to the bottom of his email. In my own defense, I hardly ever talk about aviation outside of work. There is nothing I can say that will make me sound less of a tool than the playboy article indicates.... except maybe "the next round's on me" just look me up

Drive Fast, Smoke in Bed, Socialize with women of ill-repute,

BC

VT-31/06-42

NAS Corpus Christi(3months to wings!)

PS HerkChik, I don't see whats wrong with a life of xbox, porn, and planes (and beer/whiskey).