Bergman

I'm actually waiting to see how long it takes me to get the clip forwarded from my AF buds at other bases. I'll report back if/when it happens. As for the clown that made the call...word has it that the FBI has since made some visits to his house in connection with other more threatening calls he made after that one. Apparently they've kept a lid on those due to whatever investigation is underway.

It turns out that our PA shop can forward voicemails to their email. The following phone call is an actual complaint received - you could't write something this good if you tried. I KNOW I am going to regret posting this. Enjoy! Best phone complaint ever

Noted. I agree. WRONG! I don't know who your SRO was and what example he/she set for you, but you have clearly missed an imortant point here. Being the SRO is a pretty serious, and very thankless, position. If you don't think your SRO A) kept you or your buddies out of trouble, B) Helped your or your buddies' assignments, C) Helped you or your buddies' grades/mil cap/87-89 ride process then you are again sadly mistaken. At least 99% of the SROs I knew did all of those things and more. In both of my UPT squadrons I was REQUIRED to meet with the Sq/CC on a weekly basis. I talked with my Flt/CC almost daily. Lastly, while it didn't do much for me since I was ANG, being the SRO typically means a very good commanders ranking and usually pretty good assignment, in my experience. I agree 100% with everything you said.

....yet have absolutely no idea what "sterile cockpit" really means. Just when you think you've seen it all...this happens. We have become so risk-averse that we've lost our minds.

We only practice the dreaded 3 engine approach, go-around, or EFTOC (engine failure takeoff continued). We will also do some jammed stab demos, landing attitude, manual gear/flap lowering, and probably a few others I have missed. The "elephant walk" (never heard it called that before...normally when I think "elephant walk" I'm thinking tanker LFE with 6-9 tankers taxiing at once) Anyway, it really isn't that big of a deal. Just set up for a normal landing attitude demo, and once you've got the 'flare picture' and it's stable, just pull some power on an outboard motor and wait 3-4 seconds for that main gear to touch down. Add the power back, then pull the opposite outboard thottle. On a 12,000' runway there is plenty of time to do this a few times. Nothing dangerous at all. In fact, I think it requires a good bit of skill...centerline control, keeping the jet flying (as opposed to both main settling on the runway), not climbing too high. There really is something to it, and I think an argument can be made for the proficiency you gain. Having said that, it's not all that useful for demonstrating the landing attitude. I always get more out of doing something myself rather than watching an IP do it and talk me through it. But, rather than just watching the IP land once, you're getting the same "flare time" as 5-6 normal landings.

Speaking of popcorn machines... WHERE CAN I FIND ONE? I have several leads from websites, but would entertain any inputs from here before buying. Anyone have particularly good luck with a certain vendor, brand, or model? Right now I'm looking at a 6 oz. kettle model for $450. In a move certain to piss off the shoe clerks, I am trying to get the family support office to "loan" us theirs since it's storage 364 days a year. I'll post an update if I can ever get them to spine up for a yes/no answer. We, too, do NOT have a bar. Very sad. Until about a year ago, there was NO beer on premises (due to a previous WG/CC getting a DUI 3 years ago and everyone running scared in the aftermath). So a few of us just started bringing cases of beer to drill weekends and hanging out on the patio after hours. We're up to 20 or so regulars, which is about 1/3 of the squadron. Plus we've re-instituted the "2 beer debrief" on night sorties and added a dollar bill changer to the beer machine. So...guess the lesson is BE PROACTIVE. No one ever said we couldn't have beer, so why not try.

First area solo in the mighty Tweet...wanted to see how many aileron rolls I could do. After 7, I was so nose low I decided to stop. Turns out I was 20 degrees nose low, throttles nearly in mil, and 325 knots and accelerating. Dumb. I have been trying to think of a good buffoonery story from the tanker, but I guess the "crew save" concept is alive and well, because I can't think of anything really dumb I've done in this jet. Probably the worst is forgetting I was cross feeding fuel between 1 and 4. I looked down and we had 4k in one tank and 10k in the other. Again, dumb.

Did you go through the T-1 program? I have no idea what program or base you went through, but at XL all of my T-1 rides were pretty good. Yes, the ILS to 13C gets old after 6-9 tries, but the outbase work was a challenge...LOC to an opposite direction TACAN to a circle, pull closed, back to radar, etc for 1-2 hours. Mabye you're Chuck F*cking Yeager or something, but for me at least the nav rides were difficult. I learned a helluva lot. There is no way I would have been as prepared for Altus if I hadn't flown T-1s. Yes, the airdrop missions are useless for a tanker guy, but I maintain they teach basic airmanship, fundamentals of timing problems and airspeed changes (which we do use in the tanker), and basic SA. The A/R portion of mission fam was basically Altus-lite, and I know I was more prepared for Altus because o f those flights. As for "training mission commanders even though you're going to be a copilot" - I agree with you there. It pissed me off to bust my ass in UPT, running the show on every mission, then show up at Altus and barely be allowed to raise the gear and flaps. Especially since my ACIQ guy was a C-141 dude who knew less about -135s than I did. Looking back, I can see why they have copilots. The -135 can be wayyy too much airplane for a newbie, which is why the PIQ program is a very bad idea. [ 19. October 2006, 21:42: Message edited by: Bergman ]

I disagree completely. You could not cut 1/2 the T-1 syllabus and produce anywhere near the quality of product. That would graduate students about half way thru the nav phase; you can't tell me someone at the point of the program is nearly as proficient/competent as someone at the end of the current program. The T-1 program, depsite it's shortcomings, is outstanding training. All of the things you mention are true - they teach you how to fly an ILS, fill out a 175, operate an FMS - that is exactly what they will be doing in their MWS. What better training than actually teaching what someone is going to be doing for the next 6-9 years? The reality of today's Air Force is that most pilots will fly the same MWS for most of their career. The need to train to different platforms just isn't there - the days of F-4 guys transferring to B-52s then to F-15s are done. There is no need to have a "generalist pilot", so why not train to certain MWSs?

Yes.

I didn't even know it had closed! I've spent many a lunch hour catching some ZZZs in the adirondack chairs in that courtyard. The story/legend of this place is a good read for the noobs out there. No word yet on whether the new place will serve punch, ice cream, and/or cake...but for $1.2M it ought to!

Reintegration process?!? WTF! She was gone for, what, 20 hours? I've had drinking binges that lasted WAAYYYYYYY longer than her "abduction". Stop the madness.

NO, I am not a chick. I have way too much common sense for that. :D Samsdog was busting my balls. I would have quoted his post here but he must have deleted it.

Just tell them that you are in the "high speed aluminum tubing business".

Are you kidding?!? If you really believe that, then you are so far off the mark that my explaining it won't do any good. This site, and the people who post here, are an absolute gold mine of useful, current, no-BS information about flying and the USAF. I challenge you to name any other source that has this kind of information available...from people who are actually out there doing the job day-to-day. IMHO, if you don't realize just what a great source of info this is, then you are really missing out.

...and if you read that and thought, "YGBSM. F_cking ate-up fighter guys", then you had better go heavies (where we can spend 15+ minutes running the dickaround checklist just trying to get everyone to check in on have quick and secure voice :D ) [ 11. September 2006, 22:03: Message edited by: Bergman ]

I don't know what your experience with regionals has been, but in my experience the interview process was brutal. The first step was a 30 minute CRJ-200 sim with 4 Captains in the sim (one in the left seat, one running the sim, and 2 others to evaluate) - all with no prep time or prior knowledge, then an ATP-based written exam, then finally the HR interview with HR weenie and chief pilot. Even with all the gouge out on the internet, it was not easy. They ended up offering the job to 4 out of 12 applicants (I got an offer, before anyone makes a comment). The next pool had 3 offers from 11 applicants. Those aren't great odds. Having said that...the reason they've made their interview process more difficult is that they hired a bunch of bad pilots in previous years. Many other airlines are worse, to be sure. And with the "airline academies" the hiring mins could be as low as 250TT/100ME, none of which has to be in a turbine/swept wing aircraft. FWIW this was PSA Airlines (US Air Express) Also, many of the regionals are now flying 70-90 seat equipment. IIRC, most DC-9s and early 737s were in the 90 seat range. So, in the good old days, you had a 2000+ hour pilot in the right seat flying 90 pax. Now you've got a 250 hour pilot flying 90 passenges (for 1/3 the money, I might add). I'm not saying experience was the cause of this accident, as both of these guys had been flying the CRJ for several years, but sooner or later the airlines are going to have to answer for their hiring practices (i.e. IMHO you will start seeing more pilot-error related crashes due to much lower experience).

Not bad...but ya'll can step it up a notch further...pre-position all the pubs on the aircraft so you don't have to drag anything. That's how we roll in the ANG at least. [ 29. August 2006, 18:39: Message edited by: Bergman ]

Have you ever seen them?! Chapter 1 alone is 1000 pages, with another 1000+ for Chapters 2-7, and probably 500+ for the performance manual. Don't think they'd all fit in one binder. What airplane are you talking about?! All of the models listed in my KC-135 -1 are still flying. (R/T/E/D)

I agree that you will most likely be your class' SRO, but don't bet the farm on it. There were 4 Captains in my class. I was "lucky" enough to be the SRO with 8 years in service. Being SRO is a very strange leadership challenge...you have responsibility for people, but no authority over them. I.E. if Lt Snuffy doesn't show up on time the flight commander will chew your ass, because he's your responsibility. But since you're only a student, you can't make Lt Snuffy do a damn thing. IMHO, being the SRO is largely a thankless job. You make sure everyone has the schedule, any good gouge, phone lists, and other administrative crap. At least in my class, whether I appointed someone else to take the lead on something, I always found myself following up...from class patches, stickers, planning track select, planning graduation, assignment night, and the list goes on and on. I think part of that was me...I knew I was going -135s, so had no trouble spending my free time to help the class. You could get by doing less, especially if your career/assignment were on the line. I met a few jerks on staff, but overall the IPs were good and had an appreciation for the extra work it entails. Hope that helps a little. PM or post with more questions.

100%....in the ANG!

These are from a few weeks ago... Hartsfield Int'l on the way home

Rain...I think you underestimate the work it takes to employ larger aircraft. I have no idea what your big jet background is, so perhaps my perception is off. But to say that "I could do XYZ in my A-10 at 69' at night...so why can't 1 guy fly a BUFF?!" [which is what I took your statement as saying] is not realistic. The fact is that, for large aircraft, simply flying the aircraft takes up a much larger portion of your time. As for the B-2...comparing that jet, built in the late 1990s, to a jet built in the early 1960s is not a fair comparison. I imagine even the simple things like the fuel panel are automated on the B-2...vs manual on the BUFF. The EWO suite on the B-2 is entirely automatic, I suspect. The radar is better and more user-friendly. And on and on. For comparison... B-2 Cockpit Now for the BUFF...

True. There are also several ANG E-model units in various stages of conversion, so that has taken quite a number of airplanes out of circulation for the time being.

This is an essential piece of UPT gear! Especially if you go to Laughlin.