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BlackKnight

(Un)cyclopedia definition of "fighter pilot"

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Guest IncompletePete
"Most fighter pilots chase women with cute asses. F-15 fighter pilots chase women with cute purses."

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My personal favorite...

Fighter pilots each have their own "verizon network" consisting entirely of bikini clad beer girls with loose morals. Can you beer me now? Good.
Edited by Bergman

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Air Force pilots have perfected the one-person, in-flight "low five", which consists of keeping one hand on the stick while whacking off into the piddle pad with the other. Air Force flight suits can be distinguished from Navy flight suits by the presence of a special zipper installed for this purpose.
So THAT'S what that zipper is for...

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YGBSM.

"The seceret ingredient in redbull is sweat from a figher pilots ass crack, which explains the drinks peculiar taste, and its ability to 'give you wings.'"

Classic.

- Stuck

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F-15 "Twin Tailed Butt Pirate"

Didn't know the Eagle had more than one name!

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My Favorite:

AV-8B (Product of a drunken one night stand between a Huey and an A-4)

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BULLSHIT on luke skywalker being a Fiter Peelot...

I want to say he was a bomber pilot, but not everybody can lead their head out of their ass...

Luke employed A-Sfc ordinance, had a back seater, and had to use the "force" to find his targets.

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So a viper driver following pre-programed steerpoints to drop GPS guided bombs from 30k is not a fighter pilot?

I say Luke flies an X-Wing, he's a flippin fighter pilot.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Wedge_XWingSaga.jpg

Except for Porkins. He was not a fighter pilot.

http://www.goingfaster.com/darkthoughts/kfcporkins.jpg

Cheers!

- Stuck

Edited by Stuck

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My favorite from the Air Force article:

The next phase in the Air Force of the Future will be to get rid of the BDUs. They felt a bit hurt by the Army's change so they've decided to go with their own style. Top Generals in the Air Force decided that they needed a distinctive Air Force uniform of their own, so they stole the Army's new color pattern and added blue, because the sky is blue and they are the Air Force after all. An effective camouflage pattern is not needed, because let's face it: If an Air Force member is ever so close to combat action that he has hide from the enemy, somebody ######ed up big time.

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The Airman's creed

I am an American Airman. I am a child. I will not question stupidity.

I am a stepping stone. My mission is to get the management promoted. I am annoyed by a forever changing "heritage", A tradition of backstabbing, And a legacy of yes men.

I am an American Airman, Guardian of stupidity and ignorance, My boss's b*tch and shield, His step and fetcher. I defend his dog and pony shows with my life.

I am an American Airman: Disgruntled, aggravated and tired. I will never see a common-sense AFI, I am starting to falter, And soon I may fail.

Much better than the orginal bullsh!t and closer to reality.

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"Rumor has it that Canada may also have an Air Force. This is most likely false considering it is widely known that Canada has no military."

Nice.

- Stuck

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I had a good laugh at this one:

"F/A/FA/EA/EA-F/A-18A/B/C/D/E/F/G/G2/H/K Multirole Fighter "

HD

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Off the Army page:

Helicopters

From the ancient Greek "heli" meaning "crashes" and "'copter'" meaning "a lot". Some people actually go to the bother of shooting these down, though why they do so is a mystery. A little patience, and they'll fall out of the sky of their own accord.

Also, I think M2 likes it because they have a picture of him up there.

In_The_Army.png

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So a viper driver following pre-programed steerpoints to drop GPS guided bombs from 30k is not a fighter pilot?

I say Luke flies an X-Wing, he's a flippin fighter pilot.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Wedge_XWingSaga.jpg

Except for Porkins. He was not a fighter pilot.

http://www.goingfaster.com/darkthoughts/kfcporkins.jpg

Cheers!

- Stuck

Porkins had a waiver...he was also in finance before he went Undergraduate Space Pilot Training (USPT)

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The Air Force is best known for drunken parties, and is the number one importer of beer in most nations which have air forces. It manages to consume it from the hours of 1600 to 0730.

The air force also has superhuman power to be able to drink beer more than any other branch...And yet they still don't beat up on army troops. We don't know why. It's suspected that it's because if they were tough guys to begin with, they probably wouldn't join the Air Force.

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An air force is only classified as an Air Force if its leadership and ideas take ideas and concepts out of the air and present them as if they were concrete or factual. One manner in which an Air Force might do this is by creating mottoes for their squadrons and flights. For instance, a squadron might choose the motto "We Show The Way", despite the fact that it does nothing of the sort.

Classic.

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I'm surprised they didn't use that pic on the Royal Bear Force page.

Bear Force Battlefield Commands

Roar!! - Attention!

Roar!! - At ease!

Roar!!! - Line up and attack the enemy!!

Roar!! - You two stand over there and create a distraction while we flank them!

Roar!?! - Where's our air support?

Roar!! - Victory!!

Roar!! - Retreat!!

Roar!!! - CHARGE!!!

Roar!!! - RUN AWAY!! (Purely hypothetical, bears do not run away. bears vamoose)

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