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Military Posers


Guest Fred

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Guest Fred

Anyone want to share stories of military posers they’ve run across?

I’ve got some junk cars on my property that I’m cleaning out, so I called the local scrap yard, and they sent out a wrecker. The driver seemed like a nice enough guy, so I got to talking to him.

According to him:

He is in the Army Reserve, and is Spec Ops out of Fort Bragg. He had just got back from South Africa, hunting terrorists. He has 34 years in the military, and is a Major. He went so far as to show me a set of DCU’s he had in the front seat of his wrecker, complete with Special Forces and Ranger tabs.

OK, maybe none of that is impossible, but dude, you’re a Major, a Special Operator, and you drive a tow truck in your off hours? Not to mention, this dude was very forthcoing with all this info. All of the folks I’ve known who had similar credentials didn’t brag about what they’ve done and where they’d been. And they didn't carry around a set of DCU's in their tow truck.

It makes me mad and sad at the same time. This guy is saying he's something that he's not, and in my opinion he's dishonoring the gys who actually do have these credentials. At the same time, it's sad that he feels he has to say things like that.

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A while back there was a person on a forum posing as an F-16 pilot during OIF. She/He suckered alot of guys, but I think it was finally Toro who came in and busted her...Here is the link, it's kind of long but well worth the read, a good break from the 'Meltdown' thread!

The Princess Diaries!

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The "Shockwave" saga from over at studentpilot.net back about 5 years or so is one of my favorites.

I like the Princess Diaries one, mostly because I was deployed to Al Udeid flying OIF sorties while Toro was bringing it to peoples' attention. I was simultaneously amused and pissed off at the situation.

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Guest Remy1492

Met a hottie in a club once, I told her I was a pilot and she didn't believe me, shen she told me she was a Dr, and I didn't believe her!

We were both what we said we were as we later found out while dating. Was pretty funny.

These days I say I work at WalMart but the local girls at the Deid don't believe me. WTF?

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Guest Meltdown

We met a guy who claimed to be in the Vietnam War in a hospital once. My dad did work over there so he asked the guy where he was located. The guy then looks up with big eyes and says "Uh, well, I need to go now." ****ing lying prick

It was short but hey, the guy was still a lying bastard.

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I looked for that old thread about people's pick up line occupations. I seem to remember "balloon wrangler" and "blimp folder."

Anyways, I can't stand how some of the really "artsy" folks at my school walk around in military uniform pieces. I saw a chick wearing a BDU blouse with Tech Sgt rank the other day. She had about 14 piercings, so I imagine it was a thrift store piece. After that I saw a dude with DCU pants and a Hawaiin shirt. WTF?

[ 30. May 2005, 10:13: Message edited by: c17wannabe ]

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When movers came to my house a couple of months ago, one of them had been in the Navy and claimed to have witnessed the Herk AND the U-2 that landed on carriers. He also apparently was a good friend of John McCain back in the day :rolleyes: . There was plenty more, but you get the point. What a douche.

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I used to work at a machine shop in high school, and 1 older man that worked there claimed to everyone that he used to be an SR-71 pilot. He weighed about 280 lbs, had the gut of an overdue pregnant lady, and drove a piece-of-sh*t 1992 ford ranger. I never understood why an SR-71 pilot would be so fat and stupid. After some research I found out that he didn’t even make it through tech school out of basic and had been discharged. I also looked up some facts about the SR-71 and would go to work and ask him about them when he was giving one of his famous pilot “stories” He just made a fool of himself and eventually everyone hated him and he was fired. I don’t know why people try to fake these kinds of things

Also, I found the true identity of Meltdown. --- kate.jpg

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Guest Fred
Originally posted by Mambo:

A while back there was a person on a forum posing as an F-16 pilot during OIF. She/He suckered alot of guys, but I think it was finally Toro who came in and busted her...Here is the link, it's kind of long but well worth the read, a good break from the 'Meltdown' thread!

The Princess Diaries!

Wow. Just read it--it looks like some posts have been deleted, but still entertaining.
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Guest Rainman A-10
Originally posted by Jkarl:

He weighed about 280 lbs, had the gut of an overdue pregnant lady, and drove a piece-of-sh*t 1992 ford ranger.

Let's get it straight. I never said I flew the SR-71, I said I fly the A-10. And, OBTW, it's a POS 1993 blue Suburban not a '92 Ford Ranger.
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Guest TheBurt

Back in my State Trooper days I was amazed at the amount of posers out there, I guess they thought I would let the bag of crack and the .21 BAC slide if they told me they had been in the Nam, all the while I was holding their license and according to their 1960 birthday, had been the ripe old age of 15 when the war ended. I also discovered my district must have been the retirement haven for poser "Navy Seals" and "Special Forces" and they would always tell me this after I had handcuffed them, and then they would say, "I was a Seal man, and I could have stomped you a new ass back there, but I didn't". My standard reply was, "you had your chance brother, the only thing between us was air and opportunity."

I've also met a lot of non-pilot crewmembers that try to come off like they are pilots. We were at a bar one night and a girl I knew from the gym came by and knew I was a pilot, brought over her new boyfriend and announced that he was a KC-10 pilot, as I ask about the usuals ie. were did you go to UPT, do you know so and so at McGuire, Travis etc. he began to back peddle, finally he told me that he had been a boom operator (which I seriously doubted) he bought us a round and got the hell oughta there.

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Guest Meltdown

I know theres a registry website somewhere that lists all those ever involved in any branch's special forces and a wall of shame sight that lists all of the posers ever claiming to be a warrior of some type. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Last time I checked it (years ago) there was a huge number of people who had made open public claims that weren't true.

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Guest Fred
Originally posted by Hacker:

The "Shockwave" saga from over at studentpilot.net back about 5 years or so is one of my favorites.

I wish Shockwave's old site was archieved somewhere. It was entertaining to see the amount of work this kid put into perpetrating a lie. It was also kind of sad. Wonder what ever became of him...........

Maybe we have discovered the true identity of Rainman

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Guest croftfam
Originally posted by Flaco:

Speaking of posers.....

http://www.f-16.net/f-16_forum_viewtopic-t-3139.html

Check out "Raptor Killer"

Wow, 2 major posers in that forum. That kid who's "sticking to his story" is an idiot. 7.5 G's in the tweet. He's been told how unlikely that is, yet he still maintains that he did it. The way he so casually talks about pulling the viper into 9.2 G's because he just "wanted to ring it out a little bit" really gave me a laugh. Before I did the whole UPT thing I was casual in the 34th FS at Hill, and not on any of the rides I ever got did those guys ever just drop into 9 G's. Wow, I guess they must have sucked compared to this non-pilot kid. I'll have to let them know that next time I talk with 'em. Granted I've been out of fast movers for a little while so that may be a casual thing for you guys. Is it? Or do you majorly prepare for it beforehand?

[ 30. May 2005, 13:58: Message edited by: heloguy ]

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RaptorKiller has a good story there about beating up his WSO with some maneuvers. Gotta love when you can put the F-15E into a "9.2G bank" that put the 'pitter to sleep.

That's a new one on me.

Toro what are you teaching the kids at Shady J these days?!

Seriously, if a guy did that stuff in real life he'd be getting his a$$ reamed in the Ops O's office and getting busted down to wingman or grounded if he was a wingman all ready. Stories like this are funny to people who aren't in the business, and instantly recognizable as BS to people who *are* in the biz!

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Originally posted by Fred:

I wish Shockwave's old site was archieved somewhere. It was entertaining to see the amount of work this kid put into perpetrating a lie. It was also kind of sad. Wonder what ever became of him...........

The kid's name was Todd Jarret Banker, and I think he climbed back under a rock once Sean Long "outed" him to the guys at Mountain Home.

You're right, his website was entertaining, but also recognizable as a load of crap to people who knew any better. The worst part was that he put guys' actual names from the 391st who were on an OSW deployment out there on the 'net. He was like his own little Bold Tigers intel gathering network.

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Guest Sundowner

You know SEALs have it bad when they have to start a website called authentiseal.org to out the fakers.

And if you have to fake having been a POW or MOH recipient to feel cool at the local bar.... you really need shoot yourself.

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Guest skipplet

Name: Shockwave

E-Mail: ShockwaveF15@aol.com

Subject: Call Signs

Posted: 04-20-2002 11:26:07

Message

Most fighter pilot's now-a-days have call signs. A lot of the LPA guys don't because they're fresh in the fighter community and haven't been awarded their prized call sign yet. They're usually given to you by fellow pilots in your sqaudron and they're usually based upon small "inside jokes" that they have with you or maybe a reoccuring habit that you have. For example, my call sign, which is "Shockwave", was given to me during my training with the 333rd FTU at Seymour Johnson AFB. I was notorious for coming in low over the base and barely breaking the sound barrier as I flew past the tower. Each time I came in for a pass, I'd yell: "Here comes the shockwave!". That phrase was said by me so often that the guys in that squadron assigned me the call sign of "Shockwave". They can change from time to time though. They're mainly used when talking over the radio in aircraft. However, they're thrown back and forth when you're out at the O'Club or anywhere's else. Hope that helped! Check six...

URL: Shockwave's Page

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Guest Meltdown

Omg, I just busted a nut laughing. That is so utterly pathetic and hilarious at the same time.

Ok, Im going to make a new signature for myself just to exploit this guy's stupidity until the end of time.

As a side note, I'm very disappointed my thread was locked, heh.

[ 30. May 2005, 15:53: Message edited by: Meltdown ]

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