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Military Posers


Guest Fred

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Guest Raccoon
Originally posted by Meltdown:

Ok, Im going to make a new signature for myself just to exploit this guy's stupidity until the end of time.

How ironic...
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Guest Meltdown

Demo, I should add that in order to expose my stupidity you should not make the quote seem like your own. You see, I don't need any signposts in my signature because it contains the guy's made up callsign. Thus, when it is seen everyone will be reminded of shockwave and his faux sight. Those who don't know where it came from will think nothing of it. However, when someone sees your signature line they will think of you either as reasonable or idiotic. In order for it to represent myself, you should at least put it in quotes and dash my name next to the statement. Of course, since it makes sense in reality due to the nature of ground warfare, you should be proud to claim it as your own.

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I was working construction the summer before I graduated college and there was some guy there that claimed he was a special forces in the red horse division. He talked about how he was operating bulldozers one minute and fighting back the commies with his M-16 the next. I found this rather funny considering that if he really had been a heavy equipment operator, he would have been sitting in the crane above us getting paid 4x as much as we were. Instead, he was working next to a 20 yr old knee deep in mud swinging a sledgehammer all day. If that weren't enough, I asked him where he was stationed and he instantly changed topics after he'd been bragging for the last 10 minutes.

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Originally posted by Meltdown:

Demo, I should add that in order to expose my stupidity you should not make the quote seem like your own. You see, I don't need any signposts in my signature because it contains the guy's made up callsign. Thus, when it is seen everyone will be reminded of shockwave and his faux sight. Those who don't know where it came from will think nothing of it. However, when someone sees your signature line they will think of you either as reasonable or idiotic. In order for it to represent myself, you should at least put it in quotes and dash my name next to the statement. Of course, since it makes sense in reality due to the nature of ground warfare, you should be proud to claim it as your own.

Don't worry. I think that everyone will remember "who" originally made that statement.
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Wow. I can't top the shockwave story, but I have heard 2 or 3 good ones:

The night OIF started I was watching the news with a guy in a hotel when they showed a Tomcat taking off of a carrier on CNN. He yells "those are my boys" or something. I inquired and found out that he was a former MARINE who flew F-14's. I thought that maybe there was a short time in history where the jarheads flew the F-14, but I later did some research and could not find any instance of this at all. I even asked 2 buddies of mine in the Marines who fly helos and they said that the Marines never flew the F-14.

Anyway, I pressed the guy more about the F-14 and pilot training. He said he went to Meridian for all of his flight training. He also said the F-14 was "way underpowered." I asked him some basic questions like what kind of thrust, top speed, and ceiling the jet had. He had no idea. He claims he was retired for about 5 years and "he didn't remember that stuff." I asked him a few more questions about the military in general and it was obvious that he was full of it.

A friend of mine works at a beer distributor and a kid he works with got a slot to "fighter pilot" school with the Air Force, but the military would not let him go because he had a brother also in the service and the rules (Sullivan brothers & Private Ryan type rules) prohibit the military from sending 2 children from the same family overseas in case they both die. Therefore he, with no college education, had to give up his pilot slot and work at a beer store stocking shelves.

Perhaps my favorite was a relatives neighbor who was a "blue SEAL" in Vietnam. This was a special type of Navy SEAL, but much better trained and more advanced etc. He said he killed "thousands" in Vietnam. He was a hoot.

The funny thing about special forces is that they call them the "quiet professionals" for a reason, because they are usually quiet about their jobs, unlike the loud mouth special forces posers.

[ 30. May 2005, 20:41: Message edited by: JS ]

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Guest KoolKat
Originally posted by B-O-double-Z

Meltdown...meet scoobs.

scoobs...meet Meltdown.

Now, why don't you two run along and play.

In a weekend of almost total non-sense, this was by far my favorite post.

A for Bozz. Thanks.

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Originally posted by JS:

the rules (Sullivan brothers & Private Ryan type rules) prohibit the military from sending 2 children from the same family overseas in case they both die.

You obviously figured out he was full of it, but there is no such 'Private Ryan' type rule in the Air Force. There was a guy in my squadron at Lakenheath whose twin brother was in our sister squadron right down the street. The two of them were actually at ONW at the same time and got their picture and a short blurb in the af.mil sight.
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Guest Wxpunk

I've got a great one...

There's the entry gate security guard at the airfield that I work at (Louisville International) that swears he's a lot of things:

Navy Seal

HALO Master

Maintenance Super-Star

Super-Pilot

>C-130

>F-14

>P-3

>F-8

Mach 6.0 Club

Vietnam Hero

Anyway, the P-3 is my favorite. According to him, he was a crew chief for the P-3 Orion. One day, they were supposed to fly down to Pensacola from wherever but the aircrew didn't show up. Apparently they'd been drinking all night. So, becoming impatient, he jumped up into the cockpit, taxied, and took off. He flew the P-3 to Pensacola, landed, was detained, but instead of a court marshal he was given OW-1 and made a pilot! :D

This is one of those guys who always has a one-up on whoever they talk to. If you say you've flown a C-172, he owned a C-182. If you say you've gone on an incentive ride in an F-16 and flown at mach 1, he's flown "mach 6" in some experimental aircraft. If I were to engage him in the conversation of space travel, he'd say he went up in the Shuttle. :D

So, here's a little clip I recorded tonight on the phone with our friend. The recording is very low, so turn up your speakers/headphones.

Superman FILE REMOVED TO CLAIM BACK FAMILY WEBSPACE

NOTE: In the state of Kentucky, it is legal to record a phone conversation provided at least one person knows that it is being recorded.

(Besides, this is just for fun and no names are mentioned.)

----------------

Wxpunk

[ 08. June 2005, 15:48: Message edited by: Wxpunk ]

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Guest Tomcatbubba

JS,

I agree with all you stated. That being said, Marines did in fact fly the F-14. They were used as instructor pilots to transition the Iranian Air Force to the F-14A. If you do a search on the web you can still find the shoulder patches they used to wear. And yes, the F-14A is/was underpowered.

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Guest KoolKat

WxPunk...Thank you.

I listened to that damn Crook interview for a half an hour and you let me do it this time in 15 seconds.

That was funny as shit!

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Guest skipplet
Originally posted by Aurora85:

Hacker,

You remember those Justin D posts@!? That stuff was the best.. CAP really kicks ass hahahah :ghey:

They're still on SPN. I wasted a bunch of time today reading them. "Hell even our Colonel got to ride in a KC-135 one time."
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I agree with you on that completely C17wannabe, that is very, very . I hope the SF at the gate didn't give him the honor that he doesnt deserve because he's not a commissioned officer...

TheBurt,

I was a part-time police officer in Hampton, NH (a scummy beach town) for a year when I was in college and I ran across alot of the same BS. Alot of guys would try to say how they were in such and such a branch and did this and that. When I questioned them about it (asking things I knew), the BS meter would start to go off. This one dude kept claming he was a Marine in Vietnam and was extremely disorderly when I was trying to book him. I ended up charging him with simple assault for kicking me and criminal threatening because he kept mentioning how he would like to shoot me if he had a gun. Note that I was trying to be professional with him and just get him booked and out of there and had nothing to do with him getting arrested. I hate posers.

[ 30. May 2005, 22:47: Message edited by: UPTBoundROTCGuy ]

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Guest flecth033

WXpunk, That shit was funny,

"Test Pilot school? Ya, I've been through the whole gammit of aircraft"

I would love to sit and here that dudes stories.

[ 30. May 2005, 23:59: Message edited by: flyguy ]

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Guest CoupPawn

There is this online website called xanga where you can keep an online journal. Anyways, there was this guy (I think his name was flyman360 or 316) who claimed to be an F-14 pilot out of Hanscom AFB in Boston!! All he talked about on his site was getting drunk, "banging" women and flying his missions.

I called him out on it and told him he was a disgrace to the officer corp, but just left me engry messages on my site. I figure he was just an air crew member or something, but what a shame to think there are people like that who are actually in the military...

Rules of misconduct should be applied to the internet if you identify yourself as a member of the armed forces.

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Guest RazorBlade
Originally posted by Fred:

Wow. Just read it--it looks like some posts have been deleted, but still entertaining.
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Guest Wxpunk

Razor,

Welcome to the real military aviation forum. Park your shoes at the door...the carpet is clean.

--------------

Wxpunk

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Guest RazorBlade

Just to make sure that there are no misunderstandings, the closest I was with regard to the real millitairy was being a unvoluntairy soldier, and the closest to aviation are about 250 flights in gliders and about 10 flights in small airplanes.

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