Lest the ground come up to smite thee..

[Learjetter]

Found this on a blog somewhere, and hadn't seen it here (or anywhere else) and thought they were amusing enough to repost here...

Abide by these aviation commandments:

1. Thou shalt abstain from the intersection takeoff for, verily, the runway behind thee, as the altitude above thee, cometh not to thine aid when thou needest them.

2. Thou shalt not linger on active runways lest thou become like unto ground sirloin.

3. Ignorest thou not thy checklists for many are the switches, handles, gauges and other demons awaiting to take cruel vengeance upon thee.

4. Thou shalt cast thine eyes to thy right and also to thy left as thou passeth through the air lest thy fellow pilots bring flowers to thy widow and comfort her in other ways.

5. Buzzeth not, for this shall surely incur the wrath of thy neighbors and the fury of the FAA shall be called down upon thy head.

6. Thou shalt be ever mindful of thy fuel lest there be nothing in thy tank to sustain thee upon the air and thy days be made short.

7. Trust not thine eyes to lead thee through the cloud lest the Archangel Gabriel await thee therein.

8. Thou shalt not trespass into the thunderstorm lest the tempest rend the wings from thy chariot and cast thee naked into the air.

9. Put not thy trust in weather prophets, for when the truth is not in, then they shall not accompany thee among thy ancestors.

10. Often shalt thou confirm thine airspeed and undercarriage on final lest the earth rise up and smite thee.

[GovernmentMan]

Old, but good. It's been around a long time, but I don't know where it came from.

[KWings06j]

Helicopter version:

1. He who inspecteth not his aircraft giveth his angels cause to

concern him.

2. Hallowed is thy airflow across thy disc restoring thine

Translational Lift.

3. Let infinite discretion govern thy movement near the ground,

for vast is the area of destruction.

4. Blessed is he who strives to retain his standards, for

without them he shall surely perish.

5. Thou shalt maintain thy speed whilst between ten and four hundred

feet lest the earth rise and smite thee.

6. Thou shall not make trial of thy centre of gravity lest thou

dash thy foot against a stone.

7. Thou shalt not let thy confidence exceed thy ability, for broad

is the way to destruction.

8. He that doeth his approach and alloweth the wind to turn behind

him shall surely make restitution.

9. He who alloweth his tail rotor to catch in the thorns curseth

his childrens children.

10. Observe thou this parable lest on the morrow thy friends mourn thee.

[Archa3opt3ryx]

The version of #10 in the OP I've always heard was "Skid not thy turns, lest the ground rise up and smite thee." My flight instructor had that printed out and taped right above the pilot's head in the Citabria.

Also, I've been in airliners doing intersection takeoffs, in direct violation of #1. Was really surprised when we taxied onto the runway at Charlie instead of Alpha...