[Pilot Life and raising a family]

No one "wishes" anything of you. Most people here want a bro/broad who can hang out at the bar while being tactically proficient; not that complicated but more rare than you'd think in this day's AF. Incessant quibbling will not help your case.

I want to explain myself/explain how it was supposed to be taken. But point taken. I will edit it.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

I'm happy to see more responses and some defending me haha. I think forums mixed with the AF Pilot culture makes problems like this inevitable. I forget who I am dealing with and you all forget who you are dealing with. I'll leave it as short as that so I can continue STFU'ing.

Thanks for all the new responses all, especially Darth. It's good to hear all types of stories and it's interesting that everyone seems happy no matter what happens as long as they are flying. And I will always try to remember that I may not be making little sacrificesin the AF, I might lose my life.

I forgot that I have a slight case of scoliosis (22 degrees at top section, 20 degrees on bottom). Will that be a problem? I hear most people have some condition that should have deemed them unfit for the army but the meds overlook it. But that is just she say, he say. And I imagine if I reach pilot status that they wouldn't do something like that if I have to get reexamined and I wouldn't be accepted to flight school.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

WTF. The "kid", internet stalker, CGOC rep, whoever it is asked for advice on a fairytale dream involving being a USAF pilot using "intimate" in the title.

The "kid", internet stalker, CGOC rep or whoever got a lot of solid advice for such a shitty initial post and should be grateful for it.

I will tailor my advice to the doucher cuz the "kid" only wants to hear what "he" wants to hear. And it is 100% true because i am deployed right now.

I absolutely LOVE that I have been deployed for 310 days in the past year! My family IS in one place right now!!! It is so special and sweet! I missed trick-or-treating, thanksgiving, christmas, new years, my anniversary, both my wife and kids' birthdays and my kid's first dance recital!

For my family, that IS normal right now. Art came looking for advice and that's the truth from a deployed AF pilot. I've been married for 9 yrs and have a young kid. And I'm 35 like "his" dream talks about. Art, you get genuine advice about the real world and not your little dreamy rainbow world.........and from pilots nonetheless.........and call people like me douches -----

Go F yourself. You wouldn't last a day in the military, let alone a flying squadron.

I have not slandered ANYONE who has given me advice...I don't know why some of you are thinking that. I defended myself when a couple people called me out for being a ###### and such without even giving me any advice or trying to understand where I am coming from; I have been nothing but respectful to everyone else. Thanks for your advice.

Let me reiterate so this doesn't happen again. The only people I think/have said are douchebags are the people who come in here with nothing to say but slander. When that happened I chose to defend myself. But now I will simply ignore it. I have given my full respect to anyone who has offered any slither of advice.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

Good lord, i don't even know where to start on this one. Haha. Just do what the rest of us did, ignore that little voice in the back of your head whining that 10 years is a really long time and go ahead and convince yourself that this is where you belong. Ironically, it sounds like someone like you would fast track to command and then continue the unprecedented castration of what used to be a respectable military force. I think you should join ASAP, thankfully, however, ill be long gone by the time you graduate ROTC.

That's what I have been thinking honestly...just be a little impulsive and just do it instead of think about the consequences that this decision may or may not even have. And yes I will definitely be ruining the Air Force according to you all so get out while you can.

Hey Art: Lot of advice on this thread, but this little nugget is something I would highly recommend. If you want a family life that survives the long haul, consider what 2020 says. I've seen too many marriages crumble in my 21+ years in the service, and most of that happened in flight training, the RAG, or during initial tours with a squadron (read: things before the age of 30). It's a game of odds, and while some folks win and have success in that area right out of the gate, they are very very few. My first crashed and burned at age 29. I recovered and after a period of getting my head out of my ass and really learning about myself (and having a shit ton of fun with some Hurlburt friends starting up a squadron)...I have never been happier after I met and married four years ago, with absolutely no doubt about the long haul. Early in this career path is much easier as a single ship having fun, and then settling in. Just some advice.

Thanks a lot for this. Seems like a great idea. It seems like you have a lot of great advice too. You have an interesting story as well, it's good to hear that you are loving life right now, hope it continues to only get better.

Kid - The guys on this board are very knowledgable about the Air Force and flying. And many are also knowledgable about the anonymity the internet offers which allows them to be dicks from the safety of their own computers.

Keep in mind that this board is a d-ck measuring contest that happens to have a lot of very valuable info and humor about the Air Force. Once you weed through all the guys jumping at the chance to impress their internet friends by bullying a young kid just looking for some info you'll find some good advice here.

Good luck.

zb

You live up to your username man, I love Scrubs and all and loved the post. The good advice has definitely outweighed any douchebaggery. I am used to it on the internet being a forumite but I honestly just didn't expect that here. But honestly, I'd probably find this hilarious if I was on the other side too (the responses towards my apparent ######-ness. that is although I would never involve myself in making 'em).

Nonetheless, I can tell everyone here is very knowledgeable whether or not they want to help me out. I could tell as soon as Herc came out after his initial post to lay his knowledge down. And even then, there have been very few that have been absolute dicks, some just blunt or just reading what I am saying wrong too and perhaps I read the douchebaggery as just that when they are trying to give blunt advice.

I've learned a lot from a good amount of these posts.

Thanks to everyone who wrote out their experiences if I didn't formally respond to it.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

Alright, I am sorry. I felt the need to defend myself. I cannot win though so I will just have to ignore those few who I have shown me the disrespect- that I did in fact reciprocate. But, I have shown the rest of the guys who have answered great respect. I appreciate all of your time answering and all of your time served (whether or not you were respectful towards me, the "FNG") along with the wisdom some of you have shared and finally all of the sacrifices you have made.

I guess since this is my only question some of you are getting the wrong idea. As I said before, I had more questions but they were answered; it's not as though it was perfect family with the typical 2.5 kids with the soccer mom mini van and all that crap- or I am not going to join. It was just the only answer that the people in the Army etc. (along with the AF ROTC recruiter) couldn't really give me a reliable answer about based on their knowledge. Sure family is important and I wanted to emphasize how important it is to me and get a general idea to see how realistic my ideas would hold up. Some of it is perhaps a tad bit unrealistic but I will get there when I get there if I even get there. There were questions I had for every step of the way. This was just one of them. Yes, I do look towards the future, but I am not neglecting the present, the post just is about one facet of the future. I like to plan things out, that is just who I am, I don't think that part of my personality could affect how I take flying and the lifestyle associated with it. It sounds like I might reach an ideal situation...but if not it sounds like you guys have made your families work for the most part and that sounds pretty great to me considering I'd be living out my dream.

This was written in haste so the last part may be a little redundant.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

Then you don't know anything about the military in general, and pilots in particular. If you want to ask a bunch of pilots what they think about your specific life choices with your fat wife, 2.5 kids, white picket fence and a golden retriever, be prepared to be addressed as a clueless college kid who is probably spending too much time in the library and not enough drinking shitty beer and chasing tail.

But thanks for letting us know you are an oversensitive douchebag on your second post. You could have just as easily walked down to your ROTC detachment and asked them these same questions. Since they probably are looking for people they would have spared your sensitive ego the sarcastic and patronizing comments.

Good luck.

Ahaha. I expected better out of pilots is all, but I guess douchebags are everywhere. You being one yourself.Takes one to know one I guess.

I could have asked my ROTC detachment this, but the recruiter I talked to did not seem knowledgeable about pilot life from the questions that I did happen to ask him. So why would I bother asking him when I could actually ask some pilots? Fortunately, I have gotten a lot of in-depth responses. No thanks to you, cleeding bunt.

You'll need to define "normal".

I married before joining the AF, wife decided not to pursue her career and be a stay at home mom. We moved 8 times to different bases (so far) in my 22 years in service. I've "deployed" 13 separate times to both flying and non-flying jobs, shortest was six weeks, longest (so far) was six months. I've also flown long missions (20+ days gone) in between and in addition to "deployments" in three different mobility airframes. Most times we knew when I'd be gone several weeks or months in advance...other times I left with 24 hours notice.

For us, that lifestyle IS normal. I've missed lots of holidays, birthdays, sports games, and the like...but I've also been home for a bunch, too. My kids all graduated from different high schools, made lots of friends in lots of different places, and we all learned to take advantage of "home time".

Half my career was Pre- 9/11, life was much more predicable then...now? It's a complete crap shoot: I have no idea what to tell my young pilots what their future holds...all the "old" career advice no longer applies, so...your guess is as good as any on what YOUR 20 year career would look like.

Here's one "idealized" guess (using af career pyramids...ie what the company is selling)

Yr Event

1-2 Pilot training then move to ftu & surv tng courses then move to first ops assignment

3-6 ops assignment #1. (Several deployments & tdy to schools)

6-8. ALFA tour or schoolhouse tour or ops tour #2

9-12 promote to o4, break for school + staff tour (or back to ops)

13-16. Ops tour #3, promote to 05 + command (or return to staff)

17-21. Break for school + staff & retirement as 05

That's at least six moves (8 w/schools) in 21 years. That's a pretty generic look at the whole shebang, but every old dude like me on BODN has a variance of the above...some "better", some "worse", some a LOT "worse"...but a lot of that characterization is relative.

YMMV. Good luck.

Thanks. I elaborated what I meant on normal in my latter post. It sounds like there really isn't a normal for AF pilots but every pilot and their families learn to cope with the trials presented by the life. That in itself is good to hear. As long as it makes you all happy for the most part, it is good to hear. Also, thanks for the chart to flesh things out. Puts things in perspective.

IDEALLY, what normal life would be for me:

"I would hope "normal" would be getting to spend several nights a week with my family when I am not deployed and would hope deployment meant only 3-4 months of the year (if I was continually deploying for half a decade or more). That way I could still see my child grow up, keep my wife happy and keep my kid in the same area so he/she could experience a somewhat typical childhood."

And yeah it sounds like things are changing a lot thanks to cuts and technology...

If you are set on the requirements that you listed, then active duty probably isn't for you. Ask about Guard or Reserve...I don't know much about them.

Just a data point:

I'm a CE officer. We move every 2-3 years. Deployments have been about 7 months out of every year, but that is improving rapidly with the drawdown. We were told to expect 6 months down range out of every 18-24 months once the drawdown is complete.

My advice: worry about being 35 when you are 35. Family is awesome, but don't waste your life just waiting around for it to happen.

Good advice...I definitely have a tendency to look much too far in the future. I still have time to think about this decision and I'll see how I feel about my reqs about family...from the answers I have read I feel like none of you regret your decision to become apart of the AF and manage to find a way to find a family and have your fun. So I don't think I want to turn down such a great opportunity for something so far down the line in the future. It is good to also get a reply from a CE officer.

You're kid will grow up in one place: wherever your ex wife takes him when she gets custody. Also, fix your attitude. You haven't even made the cut to get into ROTC yet.

Haha...ice cold. It's not that I think I will be getting a pilot slot. It is just in the case that with the hard work I put in, and hopefully lady luck on my side, that if I do get a pilot slot, I want to know in advance that I won't have any regrets for putting in all that work. It sounds as though everyone absolutely loves the life and would trade it for nothing. Enough so that I am crazy for even thinking about family down the line...

I am sure to even get to pilot training will be hard. No denying that.

Hard to argue with GDNG's advice.

As for HercDude, ignore him. We love him, but he was an abused child.

Yeah, a lot of great advice from everyone really. Thanks all!

And I would rather slap him in the face like the rest of the internet warriors. I am just sorry I came off as "sensitive" for him. I just was surprised to see any here. Thought it'd be a bunch of pilots just shooting the shit after retirement but it seems a lot more diverse here than I imagined.

I think it's sweet he's in college and already planning to get married and have a kid once he meets that lucky woman. With that strong nesting instinct, I think he's bound to lay hate on our enemies. Don't let that manliness go to waste!

Have you considered being an elementary school teacher? I think perhaps being a pilot might not best harness your killer instinct.

Well after this post...I am considering devoting my life to tracking you down and kicking you in the ######.

Thank you all again for the mostly awesome answers. I guess even Crew Dawg & Herc are just trying to say that I am crazy for even thinking about giving up my dream of becoming an AFP because of family matters.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

It's probably due to you being an engineering student, but do you know what intimate means? These questions seem more "general" than "intimate." Intimate would describe the level of knowledge of BODN members WRT BQZips mom.

I had made this thread on a military forum and was directed here. I had more questions then...that were intimate but were answered there. Probably should have changed the title but didn't think about it and felt that asking about how your family life is was intimate enough.

Also didn't expect to get patronized by some others for it...

Have a child by 35 - not a problem (assuming you find someone to make it happen with). Keeping them in one place? Highly doubtful unless you end up in the Guard/Reserves.

"Normal family life" is very subjective. Does that mean home every night for dinner and weekends off for family activities? A full 20 year active duty career as a pilot usually has highs and lows of "normalcy". You may spend a 3 year tour teaching at a UPT base or your aircraft's "schoolhouse" and have opportunities to be home for dinner most nights and off every weekend (if that's normal you). Other times you may be deployed or TDY (on temporary duty away from home base) more months than you are home. There are 1 year remote tours (unaccompanied - i.e. no family with you) that could drive things far from "normal".

If you serve your UPT commitment, get out (probably around age 35 for most who start UPT after college) and go full time Guard/Reserves, you might be able to swing more “normalcy” out of life in general. That is, unless your Guard unit changes aircraft or closes. Don’t go to the airlines – no normal life there.

Generally speaking, the military lifestyle is full of sacrifices. Starting things out with a line in the sand over certain sacrifices you’re unwilling to make probably isn’t realistic. Plenty of families make it work but it’s not completely painless. Trying to predict what choices you may have ~15 years from now is impossible for most people – never mind a future military pilot hopeful who has no idea: if he’ll finish ROTC, get a pilot slot, get wings, what aircraft he’ll fly, etc.

Thank you! This is what I was looking for. It sounds as though it is possible to make it happen with some hardships but still realistic...

I would hope "normal" would be getting to spend several nights a week with my family when I am not deployed and would hope deployment meant only 3-4 months of the year (if I was continually deploying for half a decade or more). That way I could still see my child grow up, keep my wife happy and keep my kid in the same area so he/she could experience a somewhat typical childhood.

It is true though that I don't know what choices I will have to make but I am hoping I can gauge them better if I decide to go to the pilot path from hearing from a multitude of experienced AF pilots. I feel like it is definitely a life I could live though. I have never wanted to be a 9-5 guy and there doesn't seem to be a more viable option than becoming an AF pilot. Hopefully, in such a venerated position I can really make an impact somewhere, somehow and make something of myself.

Keep them in one place? They can stay in one place. You won't

Sacrifice anything except a normal family life? Clean kill on joining the military

Content on CE: CE officers deploy, too.

As long as they can stay in one place. I of course wouldn't expect such, but I would hope to see them enough so I can watch my child grow up and keep my wife happy.

[Pilot Life and raising a family]

Hey all, hopefully this is the right section to be asking these questions. My thread didn't really seem to fit any so I figured this would be the best place.

So I am very interested in joining the Air Force. I am going to be a sophomore (at college) this coming fall, so I am late to the party (I'll be joining ROTC). I am a Civ. Engineer with a 3.5 GPA.

I would love to become a pilot.

But there are a couple things that are scaring me. I am a single guy and I want a family in the future. I assume I will have time to find a girl at some point early in my career...but will I be able to start a family and have them in an ideal situation? Let's say by the age of 35, will I be able to have a child and keep them in one place?

I am willing to sacrifice anything to fly except a normal family life. (If I can achieve a normal family life by the age of ~35 though...I can manage.)

Of course this all depends on if I can even get a pilot slot. But hopefully with a lot of effort and hard work I can achieve my dreams and if not, I will be content with a life in the Air Force as a Civil Engineering Officer.

Thank you for taking the time to read and answer my questions. More importantly though, thank you for serving our country.