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Guest pstephens

Conduct in uniform (PDA)

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Guest pstephens

Does any know the reg or could post a link to the appropriate document that discusses proper conduct in uniform with a significant other?

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Guest pstephens

I checked out AFI 36-2903. Didn't really see it. I will keep looking at the other pubs on there.

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use commmon sense if nothing else, the old heads on this program can probably provide better specific guidance, but, when in doubt, dont wear the uniform.

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Guest pstephens

We just had a Military Ball at our detachment this past weekend. My date (a civilian) was asking if i could hold her hand. I wasnt sure and have heard varying opinions. I played it safe and offered her my arm instead. Any further clarification would help.

For future refernece, when married, can you hold your wife's hand in public while in uniform? Just curious. I cannot find it in any of the regs.

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Guest Vistar1

Took me a little while to find a blurb about it, but here's what I found.

The following is quoted from AFR 30-1, Air Force Standards:

"Public display of affection while in uniform, except in the context of a military social event like the Military Ball, is not allowed. This includes kissing, holding hands, and all other forms of physical affection."

I found this on an AFROTC website for the University of Minnesota. I will assume it's up to date and reliable.

Hope this helps,

V.

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Guest medik6

My husband has been in for 10 years and I was in for 6. Even now when I go see him for luch or something we'll give a little kiss godd bye or a quick hug. No big deal. Holding the arm is probably more appropriate than walking down the sidewalk holding hands. Just don't stand there and suck face looking like you need to find a room. A quick peck hello or goodbye is alright.

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Guest pilotswif

I was talking to my mom about this because my dad was in the AF for 22 years. She said to just remember to either walk 2 steps behind or on the left side. She said this becaue she would always get wacked in the head every time my dad would have to salute. ;)

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Guest Frog1995

Unless you are coming back from a deployment then don't kiss in uniform. After a deployment have at it.

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Guest Taurus12

Has anybody else out there run into this issue of so called "PDA in Uniform"? I was actually reprimanded by a major the other day during a break in a family welcome program for holding my husbands hand. I had read a post on another forum where someone else had asked about a specific AFI or AFR that addresses this and there doesn't appear to be one so I was just wondering if anyone else had come across it. There IS an item in the ROTC customs and courtesies that read something like "Public display of affection while in uniform, except in the context of a military social event like the Military Ball, is not allowed. This includes kissing, holding hands, and all other forms of physical affection." But I cannot fathom this is what this person was actually attempting to enforce. This is only the second base I have been stationed at with him, the first being his UPT base, and the officers there were all really cool and I was friends with many of them. There seems to be some sort of "special" mean-streak running through many of the personnel I've met here and I'm really hoping that this place is the exception and not the rule. Love to hear your feedback :)

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Was your husband in Blues?

Reason why I ask is this:

You said that while you were stationed at the UPT base, everyone was cool. Chances are that most of the time you are hanging out with these people, they were in Flight suites. While there are rules and regs about PDA in flight suites, when you are a flight suite, it's pretty lax. Plus, chances are you might have been at the club or squadron bar or something along those lines where it wasn't "formal-ish"

Now, if he was in blues, chances are he was in a more "formal-ish" setting, and that's why you get "yelled" at. I don't think the major had any right to yell at YOU, he/she should have taken your husband aside and said something, IMO.

My husband has been in for 11yrs, he has "different" personallities in each uniform. If he's in blues, he's very rigid, by the book, and no touching at all. If he's in his BDU's, he's the same, only he'll give me a hug if we are parting ways or something, but he will not hold my hand or anything. Now, if he is in his Flight suite... He'll put his arm around me or hold my hand.

I hope that answers some of your questions.

Keep in mind, some people are more lax on issues then others.

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Guest Taurus12

That's part of what surprised me. It was definitely a very relaxed atmosphere and he was in his flight suit. The speaker who had talked just before this particular break actually went to great lengths to joke with everyone and did his best to create a very relaxed and jovial atmosphere. I think the big idea behind this "welcome" thing was to try and create a good report between the base and the families as a whole. This event certainly served to have the opposite effect and made very clear to me why I was only one of two family members who bothered to show up either day (approx. 40 other personnel). The major (another officer attending the family welcome with us) seemed to already be in a bad mood from that speaker's jovial teasing and apparently felt the need to take it out on the closest lower ranking officer. Also wouldn't surprise me if she thought her reprimand would impress the ltc sitting behind us. While I still highly disagree that any amount of professionalism is lost by an officer, even in blues, holding the hand of his wife, it does help to get your perspective. Thanks!

Oh...and if there ARE rules and regs about this stuff, could anybody let me know WHERE? While I may disagree and there may even be extreme instances where I choose to ignore something, I would like to KNOW that I am ignoring it, or on the other hand know that the person confronting me is out of regs in their reprimand as opposed to this gray area. Thanks in advance!

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Guest Taurus12

Maybe somebody can help out with AFR 30-1. Is there an updated reg? E-Pubs doesn't seem to have anything (although AF search engines usually leave something to be desired). We've got to have something better than an outdated ROTC reg... don't we?

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I think you guys are caring way too much about this. Who gives a shit..."noted" and press on is the answer. I'm not saying be disrespectful, but in reality, it's just some shoe who has no bearing on your career and is just being a douche. "Salute smartly" and don't give a further thought to what Maj Assclown said.

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I was actually reprimanded by a major the other day during a break in a family welcome program for holding my husbands hand....The major (another officer attending the family welcome with us) seemed to already be in a bad mood from that speaker's jovial teasing and apparently felt the need to take it out on the closest lower ranking officer.

Douchebag shoe clerk. Brabus was spot on - just say "noted" if you don't know for sure whether they're right, and move on. If you're feeling particularly brave...

Oh...and if there ARE rules and regs about this stuff, could anybody let me know WHERE? While I may disagree and there may even be extreme instances where I choose to ignore something, I would like to KNOW that I am ignoring it, or on the other hand know that the person confronting me is out of regs in their reprimand as opposed to this gray area.

Excellent point. Another manner of dealing with this would be to respond to the major's "mentoring" with a question in the form of what you just posed. Don't be rude, don't be confrontational, be genuinely inquisitive. A true shoe clerk will be able to bust out with the reg, page and paragraph (in which case you are unfortunately in the wrong). But if this person is just being an ass, you'd get a bunch of stammering and something to the effect of, "Well I know it's written somewhere."

To which your response should be, "Well, this is my number and this is my email. I'd appreciate it if you could let me know what the reg is - I don't want to be knowingly going against an AF regulation."

I bet you never hear from them again, and I bet they never pull that crap on anybody else.

  • Upvote 1

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Thread Revival... in case people were still wondering. AFI 36-2903, 18 July 2011:

"2.13.6. When in uniform or civilian clothes (in an official capacity), Airmen must not engage in public displays of affection including, but not limited to, holding hands (except when holding a young child‘s hand), walking arm-in-arm, embracing, caressing, and kissing. Public displays of affection are inappropriate as they violate a long-standing custom of theservice and may be service discrediting since indiscriminate displays of affection detract from the professional image the Air Force intends to project to the public.

2.13.6.1. Brief displays of affection, such as a modest kiss or embrace, may be permitted in situations where physical contact is commonly accepted etiquette such as weddings, graduation, promotion, or retirement ceremonies; and upon departure for or return from deployments."

That said, my wife was wondering about this too... are we still going to greet each other with a short kiss? Yes.

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Thread Revival... in case people were still wondering. AFI 36-2903, 18 July 2011:

"2.13.6. When in uniform or civilian clothes (in an official capacity), Airmen must not engage in public displays of affection including, but not limited to, holding hands (except when holding a young child‘s hand), walking arm-in-arm, embracing, caressing, and kissing. Public displays of affection are inappropriate as they violate a long-standing custom of theservice and may be service discrediting since indiscriminate displays of affection detract from the professional image the Air Force intends to project to the public.

2.13.6.1. Brief displays of affection, such as a modest kiss or embrace, may be permitted in situations where physical contact is commonly accepted etiquette such as weddings, graduation, promotion, or retirement ceremonies; and upon departure for or return from deployments."

That said, my wife was wondering about this too... are we still going to greet each other with a short kiss? Yes.

How bout eat a dick for quoting regs, I WILL hold my wife's hand in public. Sue me.

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How bout eat a dick for quoting regs, I WILL hold my wife's hand in public. Sue me.

:thumbsup: You can also just say "FUBIJAR" or "You see that in the Guard" and press.

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