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I've read some interesting advice on here and will provide the following.  

1. Realize the need to always be reasonable, but do not be a doormat to her demands.  Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint, and you should never give away something without gaining something in return.  

2. Always ask for what is reasonable in court.  The party who is unreasonable will not get everything they want. 

3. Your ex sounds like an alcoholic and someone who would rather be out with her boyfriend than taking care of the children. Have your lawyer use this to your advantage.

4. Manage your lawyer, they work for you.  Not the other way around.  

5. Set precedent, if able, to only receive communications via email or a service like myfamilywizard.  BTW, MFW is free for Vets and Active duty, but costs the non-Veteran. 

6. VA Compensation is not divisable in divorce. It is not an asset or considered income in child support or alimony calculations. 

7. Finally, for now, remember that everything you agree to in the beginning, can/will likely be permanent in the future.  Do not budge on custody if you want 50/50.  

Best of luck. 

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16 hours ago, 17D_guy said:

Church

Plenty of skallywags there trying to feel better about themselves, but it's a better place than most. 

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I am hearing that VA compensation in Florida is used as income in the calculations.


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On 4/29/2019 at 6:04 PM, Duck said:

I am hearing that VA compensation in Florida is used as income in the calculations.


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Look up Greg Parsons on facebook.  He has an affidavit template that you can pay for and it is excellent.  

Also, check out this link.  Great book that can be bought on kindle or viewed for free online.  Great resource on divorce.  

http://www.realworlddivorce.com/

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The service organizations are quite experienced at filing VA claims. Reach out to the DAV, PVA, or AmVets. The PVA usually does spinal cord injured vets but I know people who they have represented who weren't paralyzed. Their service officers are usually excellent.

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Heading to mediation soon. The story got crazier and crazier after my original post. One day soon when the dust settles I will entertain you all with the story.


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On 8/1/2019 at 7:25 PM, Duck said:

Heading to mediation soon. The story got crazier and crazier after my original post. One day soon when the dust settles I will entertain you all with the story.


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How’s it?

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Damn dude, I'm just catching up on a lot of BO threads.  I have zero to offer other than moral support.  Hang in there, hope it's getting better.  

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Getting finalized in around 7 days. Once I have paper in hand, pop some popcorn, this story is going to be entertaining.


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I’ve never been so happy, and she’s never been so miserable...


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3 hours ago, Duck said:

I’ve never been so happy, and she’s never been so miserable...


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👍

I'm glad for you. Hated seeing the bad stuff you went through. Good luck with the rest of the process.

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On 9/27/2019 at 11:08 PM, Duck said:

Getting finalized in around 7 days. Once I have paper in hand, pop some popcorn, this story is going to be entertaining.


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249875B2-2086-4EE3-BFD4-DACBFC98AC0D.jpeg

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So am I. I ended up having to kinda be a jerk to my lawyer. I was supposed to have a Final Judgement on the 25th, he screwed up the paperwork and forgot to put in there that my ex could change her name and then I think he just put it on the back burner since he already had my money. I called him up and told him I had retained a new lawyer and he all of a sudden started working again. Told me it should be done this week, even if he has to hand deliver paperwork to the judge.


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Just because they have the J.D., doesn’t necessarily mean they have a better crosscheck or eye for detail.  

For anyone approaching the point of departure: I did a lot of writing during my divorce.  A LOT.  Like, more than I had in college, more than PDE/IDE.  And I fucking HATE to write.  I learned to do legal research and included citations.

About 40% of what I wrote ended up on the floor after editing, but quite a bit ended up directly cut and pasted into my motions, with the legal mechanics built around the story.  And with my good lawyers ($$$) it saved me some coin.  But more importantly, there was no way that my attorneys could have had the in-depth detail awareness, or made all of the logical connections toward a meaningful conclusion, if I were just feeding them cocktail napkin notes the whole time.

...fwiw.

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Just because they have the J.D., doesn’t necessarily mean they have a better crosscheck or eye for detail.  

For anyone approaching the point of departure: I did a lot of writing during my divorce.  A LOT.  Like, more than I had in college, more than PDE/IDE.  And I ing HATE to write.  I learned to do legal research and included citations.

About 40% of what I wrote ended up on the floor after editing, but quite a bit ended up directly cut and pasted into my motions, with the legal mechanics built around the story.  And with my good lawyers ($$$) it saved me some coin.  But more importantly, there was no way that my attorneys could have had the in-depth detail awareness, or made all of the logical connections toward a meaningful conclusion, if I were just feeding them cocktail napkin notes the whole time.

...fwiw.

Very true. I have dealt with quite a few lawyers who were as dumb as a box of rocks. Just because they know how to read a lot and pass a bar doesn't mean they are smart. I have discovered that there isn't much the average person can't get accomplished in the legal system with time and research, but most people don't realize that and feed the legal machine with money. It is a business. There is lots of money to be made from failed marriages .

 

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With respect to lawyers, my wife and I are enrolled agents.  She frequently works with lawyers on tax issues related to tax, including many divorce cases.

She often finds lawyers who are pretty disorganized, and often are not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.

To be fair they tell us that there is little or no training in law school on the practical issues faced by working attorneys, so there is a lot of OJT.

My suggestion is look for an ugly lawyer with gray hair and wrinkles.

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