Dukeorions Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Anyone seen the infamous autobiography floating around? Edited January 12, 2012 by Dukeorions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGuardGuy Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 You mean this one.......(Copy/Pasted from original memorandum format): *Name changed to protect the idiot _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 10 November 2011 MEMORANDUM FOR 47 OSS/OSTA FROM: 2d Lt Noggona Grad SUBJECT: Autobiography 1. I’m 'a failure', from a western suburb of Always Sunny Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 2. Attended USAFA, class of 2011. No prior service but am an eagle scout which may as well have been a preparation program for the Academy. In life, I’m a doer. I make things happen. In my spare time I run my 4 mile loop each day on base, mountain bike, ride my motorcycle, and really enjoy learning about physics and the tech of tomorrow. I’m definitely not the type to sit still. I like to absorb the world around me. I'd rather walk than drive. I’m always giving off a positive air to those around me 3. I am single. 4. For my AF career plans I envision flying as long as I can and hopefully one day working my way to the level of squadron commander and beyond. I enjoy talking with people, so the higher up the position, the more at home I’ll be with the job. I know enough about the civilian world to know that the caliber of people we work with in the Air Force is way beyond that of the standard burger flipping pothead my age in the civilian world. I like the responsibility, the travel (eventually), and the hard working people. I will do everything in my power to get a fighter. I’d like a Raptor. Why am I so set on a fighter? Simple. I was born for it. I’ve had the dream of flying a fighter since I was six and my daddy took me up in a Cessna 150 and we were in the pattern with two guard F-16s. They did some missed approaches directly over us as we were on our landing rollout. On the spot I said to myself, “That is for me.” My mindset since I was a toddler has been a fast paced, decisive, jump-right-in way of thinking. I have always had a knack for doing many things at once, and doing them well. I don’t dread going to the gym, in fact I love to work out, and each time I do I ponder how those same reps could help me stay conscious for that 9g dogfight I may be in with an Iranian/whoever MiG someday. Driving my car down the road I make it a point to drive not at 31 mph, I peg the speedometer on 30 mph because my ability to be precise and still look out the window and enjoy the day gives me a sense of accomplishment. I’m a calculated, precise, and confident dude. That’s my mindset, and that’s why I believe I shall fly a fighter. It’s me. Now just let me prove it to you. Thanks for your time. Rookie Biotch, 2LT, USAF 47 FTW Student Pilot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitteEinBit Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 A solid 30mph...impressive. He does not have the need...the need for speed! And he's obviously talking about Del Rio except they don't go 30 in that town...it is a sold 25mph I see this thread going places.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest one Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) Is this real? Does everyone have to write a memorandum like this as a student? Edited January 12, 2012 by one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaver Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Ballsy. I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PolyestherDuck Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Clearly one of his "buddies" from the Zoo is screwing with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ram02 Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Yep, also saw the e-mail at work today. Reminds me of our famous "Fort Collins brewery tour" lieutenant from a while ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Breckey Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Or the CSAF email from the USAFA smack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest one Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I just want to say thank you to everyone. I am a younger Airman and haven't read these yet. I just got done reading the email to General Jumper from the USAFA cadet...Unbelievable. I am still looking for the "Fort Collins brewery tour" and I am hoping to be just as entertained from it. You guys have to share these things so young guys like me don't make the same mistakes....Unless you want us to make these mistakes for the laughs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsplayr Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) This letter, plus a pic, have made it out to our deployed location; now posted on the whiteboard. Not sure if it's legit but it's funny as hell either way. Edited January 12, 2012 by nsplayr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brabus Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Been at the pisser for about a week...this can't be real, but I'm with Nsplayr, funny as hell either way. I'm sure he'll get a fighter, I mean if you can "peg" 30 mph, then clearly you have the ability to fly a fighter, it's science. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pawnman Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 A solid 30mph...impressive. He does not have the need...the need for speed! And he's obviously talking about Del Rio except they don't go 30 in that town...it is a sold 25mph I see this thread going places.... Maybe instead of the Raptor he should be looking for an A-10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 All mach and no vector is not a bad thing if the guy is coachable. Definitely better than the opposite. This represents the attitude expected from the standard LPA dumbass in a fighter squadron. No way it is real. He's getting owned by someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prozac Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Can we get a copy of the pic so we can identify this kid when he comes through the Tanker FTU? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClearedHot Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Can we get a copy of the pic so we can identify this kid when he comes through the Tanker FTU? Don't you mean Nav school... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AOF_ATC Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I recieved this forward as well. Looks real to me. There is also a picture attached which actually goes perfectly with the bio. You look at the picture and automatically think "what a tool", but I'll hold off from posting it here. Almost feel bad for the kid, seems like his toolishness got the best of him and now he is the laughstock of the AF. Good luck to any unit that gets him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocjxx Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) The funny thing now is that his dream will probably come true. Some Wing commander will pass him along just to avoid discrimination charges. Edited January 12, 2012 by murdocjxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcbush Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 I think the jury's still out on whether it's a gag or for real. A buddy of mine who's currently stationed at the same UPT base as Lt. Raptor says that "he really is like the bio..." I'll refrain from posting additional pics for the moment since I try not to be that much of a dick to former classmates. Besides, as we all know, the only pictures that get posted on this forum are ones with less dumbass and more tetons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 Got to be a joke. An excellent joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murdocjxx Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 (edited) but I'll hold off from posting it here. I'll refrain from posting additional pics . I'll bite: Edited January 13, 2012 by gearpig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papajuice77 Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 This is one of those times that you couldn't make it up... this is what the dude's bio actually said. I know, because I saw it about 2 months ago when this guy first hit the T-6 flightline. Whether or not he was joking, I couldn't tell you... wasn't my flight he went to. But I can tell you that he DID submit this as his official autobio in his first week of UPT at DLF! You'd be surprised at the stupid things people say in these little blurbs, especially considering they are included in CR packages if a dude washes out. Most of the time it gets chalked up to naivete. But every once in a while, there's a real winner who IDENTs early. Definitely one of those dudes... I'm surprised it took this long to be leaked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tac airlifter Posted January 12, 2012 Share Posted January 12, 2012 This is one of those times that you couldn't make it up... this is what the dude's bio actually said.. This just got a lot funnier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prefontaine Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 This is one of those times that you couldn't make it up... this is what the dude's bio actually said. I know, because I saw it about 2 months ago when this guy first hit the T-6 flightline. Whether or not he was joking, I couldn't tell you... wasn't my flight he went to. But I can tell you that he DID submit this as his official autobio in his first week of UPT at DLF! You'd be surprised at the stupid things people say in these little blurbs, especially considering they are included in CR packages if a dude washes out. Most of the time it gets chalked up to naivete. But every once in a while, there's a real winner who IDENTs early. Definitely one of those dudes... I'm surprised it took this long to be leaked. Long time reader, infrequent poster. But I'm not sure you have the right guy because he hasn't hit the flightline yet. He starts T-6s next week and is actually coming into my flight as we leave to start Phase III. I'm pretty pumped to hear how it all goes down once he starts since his bio has been spreading like wildfire. I still think it's a joke...but I really, really hope it's real. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beaver Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 Posting the guy's picture is crossing the line. Regardless of what you think of him he is one of us. What he lacks in delivery he just may make up for in focus and determination. It reminds me of the Tebow hate; sometimes people are intimidated by that kind of drive. They want the dude to fail to make their own failures more acceptable. That being said, it's on this guy to get the last laugh. I hope he earns what he wants. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BitteEinBit Posted January 13, 2012 Share Posted January 13, 2012 We fixed the Tebow hate thread by turning it into a boobfest....perhaps a nice set of boobs will make up for this one?? The dude had to be just joking around...no one would write a serious bio like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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