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Classic Thread - Security Forces (SFS) Tales


Ferg

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I just got a speeding ticket on base - not paying attention and doing 32 in a 25 zone.

I told my flight commander yesterday and he didn't seem too pissed, but is this something that could affect my flight commander ranking when it comes time for assignments?

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Originally posted by Ferg:

is this something that could affect my flight commander ranking when it comes time for assignments?

It shouldn't. Especially, as noted, because it was 32 in a 25. YGBFSM. Hopefully your Flt/Sq CC told the SFS/CC to pound sand.

Originally posted by Toro:

We had a topic speeding tickets on base on the Strike Eagle Forum in which we had some people share their thoughts (STS) on this

Man, I just can't seem to get off the discussion of cops today. Just as I was about to calm down from that post, this comes up. Here's a cut and paste of my opinon on SFS cops -

I personally am of the opinion that all security forces cops are pr!cks and really don't have anything better to do than hound people and write tickets. In my experience with them, they blindly follow (sometimes stupid) orders and are never able to impart any sort of personal judgment or common sense. Here's why -

<<snip>>

Example #2 - I'm leaving my squadron after a night sortie a while back and as I turn onto the main road I notice flashing lights in my rear view. So I pull over knowing I wasn't speeding and knowing that since it's one in the morning this guy obviously has nothing better to do. It's some one-striper who seems very intimidated having just pulled over an officer.

COP: Sir, I need your license and proof of registration

I dig through my glove container looking for my registration - it's in there, but I'm so pissed at having been pulled over that I overlook it

TORO: Here's my license, I can't find my registration

He walks away from my car. Now I'm more pissed because (1) he hasn't told me why he pulled me over and (2) he hasn't even asked me for my military ID. Unbeknownst to me, he wasn't sure what to do, so he was asking a more experienced Staff Sgt in the car for advice. A couple minutes later he walks back.

COP: Sir, I need your registration

TORO: Did you hear what I just said to you? I don't have it, I don't know where it is.

COP: Well sir, you need to have a registration to drive a vehicle on a military base.

Now I'm starting to spin through the roof. To get your personal vehicle on base you have to present a proof of registration and insurance at the front gate which will get you a DoD sticker for the windshield. I point to the sticker

TORO: Hey...see that sticker? That means my car is registered. Why don't you write the number down and call the dispatch desk - they'll verify that the car is registered.

He just seems to get flustered - oh, by the way, he still hasn't told me why I've been pulled over

TORO: Why did you pull me over?

COP: Sir, you were speeding

TORO: No I wasn't, I was doing exactly 30 mph

COP: Uh, actually sir, you were speeding in the parking lot.

TORO: (Inner monologue) Are you f*cking kidding me? Speeding in the parking lot? What kind of worthless pathetic job do you have that you have to ticket me in the parking lot? It's one o'clock in the godd@mn morning, I'm f*cking tired, I've been at work for 13 f*cking hours and you're going to give me a f*cking ticket for speeding in the f*cking parking lot?

TORO: (Actual voice) Are you f*cking kidding me?

COP: Sir, you were doing 21.

TORO: What's the speed limit?

COP: 15

TORO: (Much more inner monologue with much more profanity) Uh - well, I didn't realize the parking limit had a speed limit. Seriously - you're going to give me a ticket for going a little too fast through the parking lot at one in the morning?

He gets a bit flustered again and leaves. He talks with his more experienced SSgt, who gets out of the car and comes up to me. OBTW, I'm never asked for my military ID...retards. This guys is a bit more experienced, but he is still a SFS Cop and therefore still retarded.

NEW COP: Sir, my partner was actually incorrect - the speed limit in the parking lot is 5 mph, not 15.

TORO (Inner monologue is going berserk now, but voice says:) 5 mph? I can walk that fast!

COP: I realize that sir, but that's the speed limit

I'm not one to try to talk my way out of a ticket - besides I don't think it's going to happen because I've already been a pretty big pr!ck to these guys.

TORO: Fine, am I getting a ticket?

COP: Yes sir. Now fortunately since this is a base ticket it won't go on your driving record.

TORO: I don't give two $hits about my driving record! I care that this ticket is going to get forwarded to my commander and I'm gonna get in trouble because I was going too fast in the parking lot!

COP: (Handing me ticket) Well sir if you could just...(my inner monologue starts to drown him out)

TORO: (While the cop is still talking) Are you done with me?

COP: Uh, well, you have your ticket and you'll need to

I drive off while he's mid-sentence.

Here's the capper to the whole event. It turns out that the reason I got pulled over was because somebody complained about people driving too fast through the parking lot - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. Not only did the cops pull me over, but five minutes later they pulled over a student leaving the building. Where they were sitting, the only people they were going to catch were aircrew leaving the squadron. I told my commander the next day and he just rolled his eyes. When he signed the ticket to send it back to the cops, he wrote "One in the morning...copy...get a grip." It just so happened that the vice wing commander was standing next to him when he heard about the second guy that had gotten pulled over. The vice wing commander rolled his eyes and said, "I'll go have a talk with the Security Forces Commander."

Ugh. Sorry to vent, but DAMM!T I HATE SFS COPS!

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The thing that aggrevates me the most about the cops is their policy at the gates. We only live 3 hours or so from our family and friends so we get visitors quite often. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason as to who they let on base and what the requirements are. This all came to a new height last week when we had visitors come to visit after the birth of our latest child. It's especially irritating because officer housing at Sheppard is not located on the main base.....all it is is housing.

Wednesday: My parents come to visit, I call the gate guard, and they are told they have to go to the visitor center and get a vehicle pass and a visitor pass before they are allowed on. I take them to do this at 2330.

Thursday: A call to the gate guard, and a friend (who doesnt have the same last name as me like my parents do!) is allowed on base. No pass, and I don't have to pick them up.

Thursday later in same day: My brother and his wife show up, and after a call to the gate guard I am informed that I have to come and escort them on base.

All 3 policies in less than 24 hours. A few weeks prior, my friend was allowed on base without a pass, without a phone call, and without myself or anyone else as an escort. She just drove up, told them who she was here to see, and she was let on!

I don't wonder why the shoe-clerks hate pilots, but I sure as hell don't wonder why we don't like them either.

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Reminds me of when I was a SrA and TDY in Sicily.

I had a rental Alfa Romeo (Thanks Uncle Sam) that I drove to work from our lodging off base. Like the rest of the Italians, I normally sped....seems like the limits were more of a suggestion there. I wasn't driving recklessly, either.

Well, one day, some B1tch Navy cop was going slow and I passed her on the way to base. I get to the gate only to hear: "can you please pull over to the side...yada yada........" they had me wait for that b1tch to get on base.

She gave me a ticket ON base for speeding OFF BASE. Besides that....I asked how she knew how fast I was going since she was in her POV. She had paced me.......paced me....in her POV! I'm not even sure that would hold any ground with civilian cops while they're in their squad cars.

Needless to say, when I took the ticket to my 1st shirt he just laughed his ass off that a MP would write a ticket having paced me in her POV while off base. Just shows you that the buffoonery transverses at least two of the services...........

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Originally posted by ENJJPT IP:

The thing that aggrevates me the most about the cops is their policy at the gates.

ENJJPT IP...just when I started to calm down you reminded me of another reason SFS cops suck.

After some aircrew buffoonery on a weekend TDY followed by an enlisted OG troop getting a DUI, the OG/CC hit the roof and we recalled for an OG commanders call on a Sunday. So I get my $hit together as quickly as possible and forget to grab my wallet with my military ID. I do, however, have my flight line badge since it's tucked in my flight suit. When I get to the gate (this is Lakenheath) I show the gate guard my line badge.

COP: Sir, I can't let you on base with that

TORO: YGBSM - do you know what this is?

COP: Yes sir, you need a military ID to get on base.

TORO: Look, I just got recalled and I forgot my wallet. This should be as good, if not better, than my ID.

COP: Sorry sir, I can't let you on with that

TORO: Are you serious? Do you know who issued me this line badge? (He looks like me somewhat puzzled, like he's not sure if he's supposed to answer, so I answer for him). The cops -- you -- issued me this line badge. Do you know how I got this line badge? (Once again I get the confused puppy look) I had to show you my paperwork and my military ID to get this line badge - this line badge gets me access to many more restricted places than my ID.

COP: Uh...sir, I understand that, but I can't allow you on base without your military ID.

Inner voice starts swearing again - I take a gander at his rank and name

TORO: Okay A1C Slapnutz (name changed to protect the retarded), I'm gonna go back home and tell the OG/CC that I didn't make it to the recall because you felt a line badge was insufficient identification to get me onto base.

COP: (Both neurons in his pea-brain firing wildly as he contemplates using common sense) Okay sir, I'll let you on this time, but don't let it happen again.

Cops. If we didn't have 'em....we wouldn't need 'em.

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Oh, don't get me started...

I won't mention that half the cops on Lackland are rent-a-cop security types...most are OK, but some of the younger ones are doing the job because they are too stupid to work at McDonald's. Secondly, I won't mention that they let basically anyone on this base, with Wilford Hall and BMTS I don't know why we bother to have a fence out there (actually it used to be an open base a long time ago), but when someone who has a legitimate, official reason to come on base, they act like you are UBL himself.

Lastly, I won't mention being pulled over on Randolph AFB for driving too slow on evening while showing my new wife around. We were in a rental convertible, and it was really late, but ****ing hell, TOO SLOW?!?!?

The kicker...when I was enlisted, I was a Security Police augmentee. Yep, I used to guard the flightline carrying a M-16, 120 rounds of ammo, and a Motorola brick radio. You'd think that would make me more sympathetic to their plight, but it doesn't. I just know how little brains it takes to do that job.

Cheers! M2

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Originally posted by Toro:

(Both neurons in his pea-brain firing wildly as he contemplates using common sense)

Now THAT is f-ing funny. FC. Can't see it on any kind of t-shirt, but that is GD great command of the language.
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My personal favorite:

Did you ever notice that the SPS never gets any DUIs?

How is that? The are the second largest enlisted career field and most of the "I got a 17 on my ASVAB" guys get put into the SPS.

When I was at Vance I was following a car on the road leading into base. I happened to notice that the guy driving was visibly DUI. He had been weaving on the road, stopped at a stop sign at 20 or 30 feet to early, and crept towards the main gate at no more than a blazing 2 mph.

So anyway, as the gate beeotch comes out, I figure I'm seeing another student ending his flying career early. I finally get a good look and see that the driver is an SP. The reason I recognize him? He's a freaking gate guard too! They bullshit for a minute and then he slobbishly drives off to his dorm. And of course the guard on duty had no problem getting in my face to smell my breath.

Buttholes.

And that does bring up one more point:

Are gate guards F*&$ING BLIND? Why do they always insist on bullshiting with their friends in the car in front of you.

And the damn rent-a-cops? Don't get me started. There's on here who is obsessed with checking everyone's inspection sticker. Get a life douche and just wave me through.

I long for the old days when your base sticker actually got you though the damn gate. As Toro said, you need a military ID to get a sticker.

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Back in May I was out at Laughlin for my boyfriend's drop night. We had been partying the night away at the little outdoor picnic area until and it was at least 1 or 2 in the morning when SFS came to the picnic area and told us for the third time that we were being too loud and that the party was over. So everyone was getting ready to transition to one of the guy's houses on base. I was riding in the middle seat of a truck, my boyfriend in the passenger seat and his best friend (one of the only sober ones at the time) was driving. Of course, there is no one on the road on base at 1 or 2 in the morning except this one SFS cop. She sees us pulling out of the picnic area and proceeds to follow us indirectly (going through the parking lot at the BX and Laughlin Manor). After going completely stopping and then turning from one of the many stop signs in the area, she pulls us over. When she comes up to the window she tells my buddy who is driving that he failed to use his turn signal at the stop sign. There was NO ONE else around to see the fact that he didn't use the blinker except her- and she saw it from the BX parking lot. I think all those cops had it out for us after the long night of partying they had to keep coming out to, but seriously, WTF. No ticket was given, but the guy who was driving at the time made sure to put on his blinker for every little thing you could possibly imagine after that just for sh!ts and giggles.

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Originally posted by HerkDriver24:

They are the second largest enlisted career field and most of the "I got a 17 on my ASVAB" guys get put into the SPS.

"I'm not gonna lie, we're the bottom of the barrel ASVAB-wise" - quote by an ex-SFS MSgt. now Lt.

That's genius - take the dumbest people in the Air Force and give them the perception of power and an M-16.

Did you ever notice that the SPS never gets any DUIs?
They may not get DUIs, but go read the base blotter and you'll see they get busted for plenty of other stuff. In the three years I was at Lakenheath there was a pretty big drug problem, and do you know who were the largest majority of guys getting busted? That's right - cops.

I have a vast supply of SFS stories and I just got ANOTHER one this week, so here goes:

One of my students had his parents in town last week and on Monday he took them to the flight line to see the jets and take pictures. Everything was approved and his parents had a flight line photography approval slip. That day went without problem and Tuesday they decided to go to the arming area and take pictures of him as he was taking off (this is fairly standard). As they're snapping their pictures, a couple cops approach them and give them the standard interrogation. When asked if they have permission to take pictures, they show the slip from the day prior and explain that their son is in one of the jets that's about to take off. The cops confiscate the film and tell them - I $hit you not - they cannot verify whether they were taking pictures of something classified on the film -- pictures of FTU jets getting ready to takeoff?!?!

Do they try to call somebody to verify these people's relation to the pilot? No. Do they try to call OPS or MX to verify that there is absolutely no way classified information could be attained by taking pictures of FTU jets taking off on a training mission? No. Do they care that if these people had simply changed the date on their photo slip it (magically) would make everything alright? No. Do they care that there are personal photos on this film? No. The film is taken to the cop shack and put in the evidence locker because it 'might have classified info on it.'

So the student explains to me what happened and I call the cops. After a bit of a run-around (talking to 3-4 different airmen who have no idea is going on) I finally talk to a TSgt who says the whereabouts of the film are unknown - it isn't in the evidence locker and we can just plan on not getting it back. After a couple minutes I get the impression that this dude just doesn't care, so I go get the SQ/CC involved.

Fast forward to yesterday - the cops have had a week to try to locate this film - and my SQ/CC is at the SFS dispatch desk talking to a supervisor.

BOSS: Hey, I'm LTC Pilot and I'm trying to get back some film that was confiscated from the parents of one of our students.

COP: Yes sir, we have been unable to locate that film. I'm afraid they're not going to get it back.

BOSS: Really? Say, can you tell me why you confiscated the film in the first place?

COP: Yes sir, we were unable to determine whether the film contained classified material.

BOSS: And where's that film now?

COP: As I said sir, the film is lost.

BOSS: So you're telling me that you've lost potentially classified material?

COP: (the hamster in his brain wheel trips over itself and the cop's IQ halves by dropping 6-9 points...warnings are going off in the cop's cranium "Does not compute...does not compute") Uh...uh...well, we don't know for sure that there was classified on the film.

BOSS: And how were you going to verify that?

COP: Uh sir, we were going to have MOC view the film

BOSS: And when were you going to that?

COP: Uh....just as soon as we found the film

BOSS: And where is the film?

COP: Sir, it's lost.

BOSS: Copy, the classified film you lost. You're doing a great job Sgt, glad to see that Seymour Johnson is in your capable hands.

If the interest in this thread continues, I'll type up another 'Why SFS Suck' story later today or tomorrow.

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I thought I had some funny stories about encounters with cops (college and podunkville deputies), but mine don't hold a candle to Toro's. More, more!

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I used to be in SF when I was enlisted, and the stories thus far are what I had to endure "from the inside" everyday, and what ultimately led to me pursuing a commission. I actually asked for a SF slot and now know why my recruiter thought I was crazy. (I thought I'd be jumping out of airplanes and blowing stuff up, instead I stood at a gate for 12 hours a day. Not quite what I had in mind!)

I must admit, I made some good friends, and there are "some" good dudes out there, just not many. Case in point, when I was learning the ropes for patrolman, I had to ride along with more experienced guys for a while. Well I was with this Navy dude (this took place at Offutt AFB) and we had to do a selective in base housing and watch for the typical speeders and stop sign runners. Well I hated doing this stuff, because I'm guilty of doing both and I have hard time pulling someone over for it. Well this Navy prick (I didn't like him to begin with) would pull over every person who did not come to a "complete" stop. I mean if you still had a 1/2 MPH of momentum going, he was on you like white on rice. And guess who had to go up to the these people and feel like a complete ass for pulling them over..ding..ding..ding...you guessed right, me! Oh, and did I mention that this was at 7:00 in the morning, when everybody is trying to get to work. This was also the guy who would pull you over for doing 1-2 and I repeat 1-2 MPH over the speed limit! I straight up refused to go up and talk to someone after he pulled them over for that. I let him make an ass of himself on those. Needless to say, I didn’t get a lot of patrols, but I was the cool cop when I did.

Once I got out on my own, you had to be making a sonic boom before I would even look your way. My only pet peeve was school zones. Some people do drive like complete retards and deserve a ticket from time to time. I was running radar in a school zone (15 MPH) and clocked an asshole doing 45, with kids crossing the street. And this happened more times than not. I’d also get the go-home-itis crowd blazing for the gate at mach 2. The speed limit was 25 coming out of the Flag/Kenny gate at Offutt (for those of you who have been there) and I would be bored so I’d chill at the gate facing the traffic coming out and I would get people doing upwards of 45-50 MPH some times. Did I stop them, no, but my point is, some people do deserve a ticket here and there.

Like I said, the job sucks, most SF guys and gals are power hungry with low IQ’s (and guns with lots of ammo!), which is why I am now a pilot! I just laugh when I see cops doing stupid shit nowadays. And I give them shit when they try to give me shit. I don’t miss that job AT ALL!

MK

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ENJJPT IP, Thanks.

It was the majority that drove me mad and that was why I had to get out of that career field. It's a dead-end, go no-where type career field. There are a lot of bitter people in SF.

When I applied for my ROTC package, my very own supervisor (who happened to be one of those 18 year SSgt's) told me he wanted nothing to do with it and that I could basically go watch paint dry. I said F-You and did it all on my own. That was another reason why I hated that career field. Nobody wants to see you succeed. It's a bad place to be, which is why you hear about all of these shitty cop stories. Lots of A-Holes to go around, with a few cool dudes here and there.

MK

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Sad, but entertaining, stories gents!

I have another I will throw in the mix...

So there I was...the SRO for my UPT class at XL. Lounging at my base house around 1700 hours on a Saturday, I get a call from one of the 2Lts in my class.

LT: "This is Matt"

ME: "Hey dude..what's going on?"

LT: "Ummm...I'm kind of having a problem"

ME: "Ooooo...kay...???? [WTF?!]"

LT: "Jerome and I are...kinda...in...jail"

ME: "WTF!?!!!"

It turns out, after much discussion, that they were "detained" by the wonderful XL SF robots while riding their motorcycles back from the RC airplane area (on the NE side of the runway, near where parasailing is done). The gate was open, folks were flying airplanes, and it's broad daylight on a Saturday. Apparently, the SF clowns saw them coming out the gate that was posted with a sign "No entrance", and pulled them over.

The two LTs explained to the SrA that they were coming back from the RC airplane area, but the guy said, "You were exiting a restricted area!" They pointed out that there were 5-8 other vehicles in the area, and the cop's tune quickly turned to, "I saw you DRAG RACING across the flight line...at speeds in excess of 100 MPH. THAT is why I stopped you." No radar. No other evidence.

So he hauls them in to the SF shack and puts them in separate rooms where they are grilled by some NCO for 4 hours before they are allowed to call someone (ME). The SF guys wouldn't release them to me for custody, despite my valiant attempts, so the day ended with me contacting the 84 FTS/DO around 6pm on his cell phone. He is 100 miles away in his deer hunting stand! He gets down, rides his 4 wheeler back to his truck, and drives in...still in camouflage, to get these guys released. WTF!

The SQ/CC ended up confronting the SF/CC about the incident and nothing ever happened (remember the part of no proof?) Our Sq/CC did have a little fun with the 2Lts..had them come in wearing service dress, report in, and all that. They were scared shitless. He just laughed and told them "Don't worry about it". All of this was pre-solo in tweets, so they were off to a good start!

Just remember...you can't spell STUPID without S.P.

[ 17. September 2005, 12:08: Message edited by: Bergman ]

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Guest waxgoblin

haha.. funny stories.

The most annoying guy in my school last year just enlisted in security. At our multi-cultural festival a couple years ago, he went in front of the whole school to introduce the club he was in, the Pacific Islander club. The guy is white. 5 foot 7, 130 lb, shaved head, glasses, attending a 80% white highschool. To the ~1500 students in the gym, he goes "When I first came to [insert my school's name], I didn't feel like I fit in. but then I found the pacific islander club, and I really felt like I fit in with my own people."

uncontrollable laughter and disbelief ensue

and out came the pacific islander club, about 20 250lb tongans doing a soweet tribal dance. ah, poor guy.

ok well theres my security story, maybe ill have a new one in like 5 years.

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awesome stories..i thought it was bad on the Navy side of the house but nothing compared to whats been posted here.

Going through the gate at a Naval Air Station DOD cop says that i need to get my windshield replaced. I ask why and he tells me that a crack in my windshield is impeding my vision and thats illegal. I ask how so and he says that if a crack goes into the windshield wiper arc then its impeding my vision. the huge ungodly crack was about half an inch into the arc. The damn rearview mirror impedes more of my forward view! I told him when the Navy gives me money to fix it i will..then drove off.

Again driving through the gate the guard says i need a front license plate since my car is registered in Texas. I tell him that we are in Florida and its legal to have one plate. he says its illegal in Texas...so i replied "When you get a Texas State Trooper to come all the way over here to give me a ticket then i'll change it." and i drove off once more.

the majority of my experiences with the Naval Police have been good..seems like its a pretty good crop of people for the most part.

[ 17. September 2005, 16:55: Message edited by: rare21 ]

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Why SFS Cops can lick the sweat off my nutsack

Chapter 4: Ode to the flightline cops

Back at the Heath it was fairly standard for people to take their parents out to the flightline to see the jets. Most people would do it in uniform. Well, one guy takes leave when his parents come out to visit and decides he's not going to put on his flight suit to take them out to the flight line (bad decision #1). Now, you don't need a uniform - though it helps - but you DO need a flight line badge. His flight line badge was in his uniform. Just so happens that the cops drive by these four people walking around the planes in civvies and come up to ask them what's going on. He says he's aircrew and - while he can provide a military ID, he can't provide a flightline badge. So this harmless tour ends up with - NSTFS - all four of them (him, his wife, and two parents) face down on the concrete with a cop standing over them with an M-16.

Oh...but it gets better...

So I happened to be driving out to the flightline and saw this. I drive up to them and say I can vouch for the guy - I have my flightline badge, I'm in uniform, and I know for sure that he's one of us. The cops say no - it's already broken protocol. The next thing I know, all four of them are being carted of to JAIL!!!!!

They got inprocessed to the Lakenheath detention center until our commander could get them. We all laughed about it…but it only continues to prove my point.

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Since I never drive over the speed limit, or certainly anywhere near 21 in a parking lot, and make sure that my tires some to a COMPLETE stop at every stop sign in the world and intentionally have no cracks in my windshield, I never catch any hell from the pi... er SF dudes. We shouldn't call them SF dudes by the way - makes them sound cool. However, during my short time at Navy Corpus, I was summoned NO LESS than 6 times for a piss test. The last three were in my last two weeks there. I thought they were messing with me. Somebody would call me in the morning telling me I was "randomly selected" to go pee for them and to be at the "brig" by 1300. They must have thought I was on crack or something. Or my pee was really tasty to them. Never can tell with the Navy.

I have a question. They always used to tell us at Laughlin to NOT drive home drunk from the O'club. Walk, arrange a ride, whatever. But what if you are drunk, walk home safely, and THEN decide to just go out for a drive? Is that illegal? They never said anything about that.

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One of my very first large drug/wads of cash arrests as a NC State Trooper was.......you guessed it....an SP from.......Seymour Johnson!!!!

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As a prior crewchief on the flightline, the battles with the cops were constant.....Linebadges, ID's, speeding, redline, etc. Not too long before I left to start the AMS & UPT pipeline, the cops were gearing up for an ORE/ORI. They were constantly playing these games with cops playing the role of intruders,hijacking, hostages etc.to test out the cops at 2AM. Real world security was still pretty high, and we tried to get the cops to let us know what/when they were doing these things, so we would know it was an exercise. When you're towing an aircraft or doing an engine run, the last thing you needed was freakin' cops chasing each other around with spotlights,sirens, and bullhorns.

One night, the fuel truck had arrived and we were getting ready to begin refueling, when we see some dude in civilian clothes run from behind an acft parked several rows away with the police car on his trail. Now we knew it was most likely an exercise, but we figured we would play along "real world style". One of the crew chiefs, a big country boy from Alabama about 6' 235, takes off his headset and says "watch this" (and when a redneck says this you know something dumb is unfolding). He catches the "perp" in fullstride with a choke-slam/clothesline, right below the chin......legs keep running torso does not. When the "good guys" show up they are freakin out. We told then that we were trying to help and had no idea if it was real or not. Needless to say, from then on, they made a point to stop by and let us know they would be staging an exercise.

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