Jump to content
Baseops Forums
Guest inmemoryofthose

Join Spouse Info (Married military couples)

Recommended Posts

Point of the thread though: The AF is a family, you should never marry your sister.

Noted. However, that's not helpful. Is there a reg/policy/guideline that two married people can not fly as part of the same squadron?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Noted. However, that's not helpful. Is there a reg/policy/guideline that two married people can not fly as part of the same squadron?

You misread it. Two married people can fly in the same squadron - I have seen it happen with three different married couples.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How'd that work out for those squadrons?

It can be OK, but overall, it (can) put the CC/leadership in a bad spot. If you are in a sq that deploys with any kind of frequency...if you have kids then they can't send you on an opposite schedule, then they are keeping you apart, they can't continually send you at the same time, then they are making it tough for the kids....what ends up happening is that one of you will go, the other will get a job somewhere that will make them less vulnerable to deploy (OSS, etc)...sometimes the job is deserved, and sometimes a better person does not get the job to make things "easier".

I am kinda listing worst case scenario here, sometimes it works, but the couple in question have to realize they lucked out being in the same sq, and not expect any kinda special treatment than any other person. Then again, the same thing goes for any married folks or anyone else without a legit no BS "special need".

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Vettepilot

So while I was in UPT my wife's commander told her that wherever I got sent they could find her a spot there as well. She is a Manpower/Personnel/Services Officer now that they've combined all those and she has been trained in it all so there isnt really any base that doesnt have her job. It's been four months since I graduated and all the while they were telling her that they would have no problem getting her to join me. Now yesterday they tell us that my base is overmanned with her career field but they could send her to a base that is 2 hours away if there is no traffic or keep her in place and look at it again next year.

I dont know much of anything about the Join Spouse program, i've tried to look it up a bit online but a fair amount of the stuff seems more geared toward Enlisted folk. My wife and I have yet to be based together for these first 3 years and we were looking forward to finally settling down and being a family (we also have a 19 month old). Any tips or tricks you have on join spouse would be appreciated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So while I was in UPT my wife's commander told her that wherever I got sent they could find her a spot there as well. She is a Manpower/Personnel/Services Officer now that they've combined all those and she has been trained in it all so there isnt really any base that doesnt have her job. It's been four months since I graduated and all the while they were telling her that they would have no problem getting her to join me. Now yesterday they tell us that my base is overmanned with her career field but they could send her to a base that is 2 hours away if there is no traffic or keep her in place and look at it again next year.

I dont know much of anything about the Join Spouse program, i've tried to look it up a bit online but a fair amount of the stuff seems more geared toward Enlisted folk. My wife and I have yet to be based together for these first 3 years and we were looking forward to finally settling down and being a family (we also have a 19 month old). Any tips or tricks you have on join spouse would be appreciated.

You need to talk to your current commander as well as here. Both will have a hotline to AFPC and the functionals that can get the ground truth. It has been my experience that APFC is more than accommodating, sometime too accommodating in my opinion...to the detriment of the single guys. Regardless, talk to your CC's

Edited by ClearedHot

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ch is correct here. Big Blue coddles the married folk. It's good for the AF (or any organization for that matter) since happy workers are busy workers. Use your chain (your commander) to get to your functional at AFPC. A good CC can solve your problem, although I've seen some people get the shaft--one on this board in particular. Good luck.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Vettepilot

We still havent worked it all out for ourselves, but here is what I learned thus far.

There is a lot of good information in AFI 36-2110 Attachment 8. If you can get a hold of your Functional directly then they can tell you a lot about what they can do or try to do for you, but in some cases like ours, the functional is someone who was previously services and got moved to personnel after the afsc's were merged so they are still trying to learn what they actually can do for you. We've also talked to my wife's commander who knows some of the other commanders at the bases involved and emailed them directly to see if something could be worked out among them.

The more you know before talking to various people will help them to help you and the AFI and AFPC website can educate you on the keypoints pretty quickly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
We still havent worked it all out for ourselves, but here is what I learned thus far.

There is a lot of good information in AFI 36-2110 Attachment 8. If you can get a hold of your Functional directly then they can tell you a lot about what they can do or try to do for you, but in some cases like ours, the functional is someone who was previously services and got moved to personnel after the afsc's were merged so they are still trying to learn what they actually can do for you. We've also talked to my wife's commander who knows some of the other commanders at the bases involved and emailed them directly to see if something could be worked out among them.

The more you know before talking to various people will help them to help you and the AFI and AFPC website can educate you on the keypoints pretty quickly.

Dude, you need to PM me ASAP'ly. The regs are great, but they arent like flying regs - they dont read easy and are full of queep.

Im currently 'enjoying' the first month of a 6 month period of single-man ops as my wife is enroute to Iraq. Oh, did I mention we spent the 3 years prior to this assignment on opposite sides of the US?? And that we are facing another similar situation, only make it opposite sides of the WORLD. Yeah, the USAF doesnt coddle mil-mil married folks dudes. Sometimes it may seem that way, but when youre looking at spending a grand total of 30 months out of 9 years together ACTUALLY TOGETHER, you get a whole new perspective.

Bro, get your commanders talking. Yours AND hers. Then get the functionals to talk. And I mean get the hooks out of their fat-major-asses and walk-the-fnck-down to the other dudes office and talk about YOU and YOUR SPOUSE. No emails. Pick up a phone and talk... thats what your and youre spouses CC's need to make happen. Its amazing when it does happen. Its also the only reason I am stationed with my wife at this time. Your CC's will possibly have to do a deal to make the assignment work, and they will have to go to bat for you. Sometimes it works, sometimes there arent any options... regardless, until the day you PCS, FIGHT. We did and thats how we got together for this assignment.

And if you thought we have odd jobs and thus cant be stationed together, Im a C-17 driver (7 active bases, more TFI opportunities on the way) and she is a nurse (hospitals at 4 C-17 bases, clinics at the rest) and we cant get stationed together. The best we've been offered thus far is Charleston and Pope. Sure thing, that counts, only 300 miles apart...

So youre not alone.

Chuck

Edited by Chuck17

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Grace

My boyfriend and I were both selected for pilot training at our respective ROTC detachments - I'm a May 2010 grad and he'll commission in May 2011. We'll probably be engaged by year's end, which leads me to wonder what the chances are of two pilots being stationed together through join spouse - especially if we don't track select the same. Does anyone have any insight? I'd really like to fly, but I've also got an interest in Intelligence that I might pursue if the chances of two pilots getting assignments together are slim to none...I just need to decide before I commission. Are there opportunities to retrain into different aircraft or for one of us to perform additional duties at a base while only one of us is flying? Thanks so much for any help you can provide - this is really weighing heavily on my mind.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My boyfriend and I were both selected for pilot training at our respective ROTC detachments - I'm a May 2010 grad and he'll commission in May 2011. We'll probably be engaged by year's end, which leads me to wonder what the chances are of two pilots being stationed together through join spouse - especially if we don't track select the same. Does anyone have any insight? I'd really like to fly, but I've also got an interest in Intelligence that I might pursue if the chances of two pilots getting assignments together are slim to none...I just need to decide before I commission. Are there opportunities to retrain into different aircraft or for one of us to perform additional duties at a base while only one of us is flying? Thanks so much for any help you can provide - this is really weighing heavily on my mind.

I can only speak from my experience at UPT, but I saw about 4 or 5 different pilot couples get stationed together. Two couples were FAIP'd, two went to McConnell for -135's, and I believe the fifth ended up at McChord. I will also say I knew one T-38/T-1 couple, and one ended up FAIPing and the other went to Florida for -15's. She is just now catching up with him by going to the -135.

Just my $.02, but I would hang on to the pilot slot. Chances are even if you don't get your first assignment together you would almost certainly end up together later (white jet or staff tour for example.)

From my experience as long as your leadership knows what you want and you work hard during UPT, they will work pretty hard to get you what you want.

~NH

Edited for Grammification errors.

Edited by NHbound

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Keep in mind that if you're both pilots and join-spouse at a mobility base like Charleston or McChord, conflicting schedules may make it just as bad as being apart. I know at least 1 dude and his wife at McChord who have gone 2 months at one point without seeing eachother.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
what the chances are of two pilots being stationed together through join spouse - especially if we don't track select the same.

I've merged your thread to this existing one, so read through some of the previous info. Bottom line, it's possible, but don't expect to be together all the time and expect one or both of you to make some sacrifices. As far as track selecting (dropping?) 'the same', if you're talking about at the same time, you will be out of synch until your assignments (PCS dates) get synched up. I believe you have to be on station 24 months before you are eligible to PCS for Join Spouse, so if you were stationed at the same location, one of you could extend slightly and one request an early PCS to get synched up. If you're talking about dropping to the same aircraft, this will probably be a bigger issue. There are bases with different types of aircraft, but not many. Your better bet is to go to the same aircraft and follow each other around - assuming at least one of you doesn't care what they fly.

Are there opportunities to retrain into different aircraft or for one of us to perform additional duties at a base while only one of us is flying?

No. You don't switch airframes unless you go to a UPT base (or crosstrain, but you won't do that for a Join Spouse PCS). And if you are a pilot, you do not switch jobs to a 'non-flying' job to accommodate a Join Spouse unless Big Blue says so (like a staff job). You mentioned in your other thread that you are considering Intel - if your husband flies fighters (not sure on heavies) and you are an Intel, you would have a chance of being stationed together as well.

I know at least 1 dude and his wife at McChord who have gone 2 months at one point without seeing eachother.

OMFG! Two whole months - how did they do it?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To give a different perspective:

My wife and I are both active duty and stationed together, but it took some work, and we both gave up flying to make it happen.

I commissioned in May 08 and went to Columbus, she commissioned December 09 and was also going to head to Columbus. Our plan all along was to fly, and try for the join-spouse flying assignment. When I got to Columbus I started talking to some of the IPs there about what they had seen in previous units and what our best opportunities would be. The general consensus was that you can definitely "make it work", your quality of life just wasn't necessarily going to be that great. I wanted to be a pilot most of my life, and got my PPL and Instrument when I was 18. I was pretty set on being a military pilot, but I realized that nothing is more important to me than family. My parents were always at every sports game I had, every birthday, and every holiday, and that's exactly what I want for my kids. I also really enjoy coming home every night and seeing my wife.

We probably could have made it work, but it would have meant a lot of time apart, especially since we both wanted heavies. We were apart for two years while dating, and only together about 3 weeks out of the year we were engaged, so I know what it is like to be apart, and it sucks. I also didn't want to be a burden on whatever unit I went to. Trying to get deployments together, and trips at the same time, it's just a pain in the ass and can be unfair to everyone else.

Like others have said, it's much easier to work it out if one of you is a support career field and the other is a pilot. However, my wife has a degree in Aerospace Engineering and there was no way in hell she was going to be a Force Suppression Officer and watch me fly. Similarly, there was no way in hell I was going to do a support job and watch her fly.

So after a lot of soul searching, advice, and counseling from friends and family, I decided to DOR, and she gave up her pilot slot. The Air Force works really hard to work join-spouse assignments, and it's even easier in non-flying jobs. I got a nice space operations job that I really enjoy, and she is doing engineering, which she also loves.

I am completely satisfied with my decision, but that is only because I can sleep at night knowing I wont ever get to fly for the Air Force. For a lot of people, there is nothing more important than flying, and that is perfectly fine, I just have different priorities.

So, bottom line, I am not telling you guys to give up your pilot slots. I am just saying that if your heart is not absolutely set on flying, there are definitely other opportunities out there that are a lot more friendly to join-souse couples.

Good luck!

EDIT: In regards to possibly going Intel (or any other non-flying job), that can be really tricky since you commission first. You will be at your base a good year at least before your husband to be even graduates UPT. Also, and very importantly, being engaged doesn't mean crap to the Air Force. If you want join-spouse you need to be married. Most people just do the courthouse deal, and have a ceremony later.

Edited by Gravedigger

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your mileage will vary for join-spouse (when both are pilots). In my experiences, if both fly the same aircraft, your odds increase drastically. However, even that is no guarantee. In the end, AFPC does not care about you or your spouse and whether or not you are stationed together. If you are fortunate enough to have a commander that goes to bat for you, awesome. So far, I have not seen any join-spouse members get the "hook-up" when it comes to using it to get the awesome assignments. If both are mobility pilots, don't expect to do a join-spouse in any white jets other than at a UPT base (ie; no C-21s for you).

Don't let anyone blow smoke up your a** about how join-spouse is a priority. In the end, it's needs of the Air Force. Sure, you'll get examples about how that one guy knew that one couple that got the sweet gig...well, they probably had a Commander that went to bat. I'd bet AFPC didn't come up with it on their own.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You haven't been in long enough then.

My wife and I were both at Mtn Home, then I got an assignment to Tyndall. We got a by-name hire for her to go to TY as well (at the WEG) and her Mtn Home CC/AFPC would not support it. So, now she's at Pensacola, I'm at Tyndall. There are worse assignments, but there is NO reason she should be at Tydall. Big Blue just doesn't care about families that are both rated.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Big Blue just doesn't care about families that are both rated.

News flash...Big Blue doesn't care about what its members want period.

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Crew Report

My wife and I were both at Mtn Home, then I got an assignment to Tyndall. We got a by-name hire for her to go to TY as well (at the WEG) and her Mtn Home CC/AFPC would not support it. So, now she's at Pensacola, I'm at Tyndall. There are worse assignments, but there is NO reason she should be at Tydall. Big Blue just doesn't care about families that are both rated.

Well you always have the exception to the norm. It sounded like her Sq/CC was more of the problem than the system. I knew a -135 pilot who was married to an Eagle pilot at Kadena and they both PCS'd to Elmendorf where she had to crossflow to C-12's to take the assignment. Even on the Enlisted side I know a prior KC-10 Boom who married a -135 Boom and he ended up crossflowing to the -135 to be stationed with her.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Crew Report,

Going from -135s to C12s is not a cross flow. That is a 'white' jet tour. And I just agree to disagree with as far as couples getting hooked up...and I've been in long enough. Maybe you just have been lucky with right commander.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Rubber_Side_Down

Well you always have the exception to the norm. It sounded like her Sq/CC was more of the problem than the system. I knew a -135 pilot who was married to an Eagle pilot at Kadena and they both PCS'd to Elmendorf where she had to crossflow to C-12's to take the assignment. Even on the Enlisted side I know a prior KC-10 Boom who married a -135 Boom and he ended up crossflowing to the -135 to be stationed with her.

I don't think his situation is the exception, I think it's the norm. A buddy of mine I graduated with (fighter pilot) is married to a heavy pilot. They tried to get a white jet tour together on their second assignment after being apart for 5 years. No dice. The closest AFPC would get them is 2.5 hours apart. To them, that was the same thing as being stationed at the same place. My buddy was happy to see his wife for 2 days out of the week, but it was a sh!t ton of driving. The irony of the story was that he totally could've been stationed at her same base at unit that is detached from the one he is currently assigned. His commander and AFPC kept telling him that no slots were available for the detached unit.

ONE MONTH after he arrived on-station at his base, another married couple with the exact same AFSC mix got that hook up. And that married couple had just spent the last three years together as FAIPs at an AETC base. Nothing about the way AFPC does the assignments is fair.

EDIT: Clarity.

Edited by Rubber_Side_Down

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

wanted to revive this a little and see if there's any pilot/nurse join spouse combos out there... I'm in T-1s right now, leaning towards C-21s or C-17s with Ramstein (Landstuhl for her), Travis, and Elmo as my top choices right now. I'll graduate in May, and she'll commission in May.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest blue52

Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this thread. There is a lot of helpful information!

I have a few questions about the join spouse program with relation to RPA assignments for each person. But first, here's the scoop with my soon to be fiance and I:

We met in AFROTC.

I'm a first year 2d Lt in a non-rated job with a over 300 hours of flight time and my commercial pilots license. I've planned on applying for a rated slot at the next AD boards.

She'll be a junior (AS300) this fall and will be eligible (and wishes) to compete for a rated slot. She's in the top 10% of her class and has a 3.9 GPA, so we're not too worried about her chances, barring anything physically disqualifying.

We've both always wanted to become pilots, however, from reading this thread and others on this site, it seems dang near impossible to have any sort of decent quality of life and be a pilot couple. Taking this into account, we've realized that going into the RPA career field might be a great way to give us a chance to still be involved in the fight while being around aviation, yet holding on to some sort of quality of life by being stationed at the same RPA base and not being deployed/on the road as much as a pilot/nav/abm.

Are these assumptions mostly true? Does anyone have any further insight or advice to give? How many ops tours would we likely get, and what would our chances be of staying together (geographically) long term, possibly even during an entire career? For example, what sort of assignments could we get after our ops tours that would keep us together?

Thanks in advance for any input/advice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

word of advice for anyone else trying to work join spouse- try to get contact info for your functional/assignment officer at AFPC and keep in touch with them directly. We just found out today that the nursing staff decided to change my wife's base options (dropped 4 bases of the original 10 we were told and added 1). The frustrating part is that my commander is already working my assignment based on what we were told last a few months ago. Luckily we e-mailed the AO directly and then she gave us the update...

Edited by USFcrusader09

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyone (pilots) married to a doc? I married my flight doc and we're trying for a joint spouse assignment for her to complete residency while I keep flying. My CC is on board and we've been fortunate to personally meet with my functional. She's been accepted to an AF residency program - but we can't figure out when she has to commit (there's a contract associated with residency that we've been told is different from an ADSC). We're hoping that I'll get an assignment before she has to sign the paperwork because she'll punt on it and punch in 2 years instead of incurring the additional ADSC if we don't get stationed together.

Bottom line: If you thought the Med Group was screwed up last time you showed up for some more Motrin, you haven't seen anything yet! It's the most un-military, military organization I've ever seen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now



×