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MadMac

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About MadMac

  • Birthday 09/20/1963

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  1. Took a bit of panning and patience to find the Special Ks from WAFB. Bleedin’ Govt’ network connection just sucks…
  2. Someones got to have a B-52 story about plastic wrap on the urinal and shorting out the BNS.
  3. I’ve never puked in the Buff except once. The SAC Bomb Comp ’89. This was the first (and I believe only) time they had the Best Gunner in SAC (Maynard H “Snuffy” Smith) trophy at the competition. My crew was selected that year and I was the gunner. I was nervous as hell because it was the first time our crew competed and we were going to have an evaluator gunner on board for our conventional sortie to grade my performance. I decided to not to eat before the flight because I knew the A/C and Co were going get aggressive. Instead, I dragged along a thermos full of coffee…caffeine can be a blessing and a curse. After crawling across half the US to get to the UTTR, I swallow a cup of coffee, get ready for the FIE, and take a look over my shoulder to see if the evaluator is ready. My evaluator is a seasoned gunner who just kind gives me the nod to proceed. I’m thinkin’ it’s just my luck to draw the hard-ass for this flight. Well, there’s nothing I can do about now. So I cinch down my harness, slip the mask into place, and reached over to smack my EW on the helmet. We’re not even into the UTTR when the flying tennis courts start spiking us. The pilot starts making the descent into the area when F-15s call fights on. My EWs jamming trons and dumpin’ chaff like it’s a buy one get 100 free sale. The pilot got the nose down looking for the hard deck while the EW calls maneuvers. We’re fairly nose to nose with the Eagle’s and the pilots not getting as aggressive as I thought he would. Then the F-15s swing aft and we’re nearing bottom. It’s my turn in the barrel…no pun intended. I’ve got one bandit moving off and the other closing. I lock up the one closing and starting calling for breaks followed shortly by bend its. Now the pilot’s throwing the aircraft all over the sky, loading it up then dumping it. My heart pounding and stomach is starting to protest that cup of coffee from earlier. The eagle finally closes to my max range…Fox 4: 1200 yards, Fox 4: 1000 yards, Fox 4: 800 yards…Break Left and Bend It. We go through this about 3 times before the F-15 suddenly calls knock it off on the last engagement. By this point, I’m 6 shades of green and ready to blow. I reach into my pocket and pull out the trusty barf sack envelope. I launched a perfect replica of a cup of coffee with a little foam into the sack. Well there goes the competition; I’m “incapacitated” so I blew my score. So you might be asking what’s so funny about this episode. When I rolled my head around to admit my defeat to the evaluator and what do I see? The evaluator’s got his head in a sack and still heaving with 2 extra sacks tied up next to feet. He’s been puking from our initial descent and hadn’t “evaluated” anything. We got a perfect score. My sack disappeared into my helmet bag…never to be seen again. Props to Billy, Rusty, and Brian – we’re only ones to win the Snuffy.
  4. M2 having a senior moment... Can't access youtube from AF network :(
  5. I was just returning from a dental appointment at Randolph AFB Medical Hobby Shop when the 1st plane hit. I was amazed by the change in reaction of everyone when the 2nd plane hit. We'd gone from "What a horrible accident" to "Holy Sh1T, we're being attacked" in a blink of an eye. As a side note, I'd like to know what happened to anger, the righteous indignation, the ire of the American people. It just seems like they’ve written it off as another minor incident in our history. I’m still pissed and I don’t understand why everyone else in this country isn’t…with the exception of most military folks who seem to really understand.
  6. These are some excellent points for both sides of the issue. Part of me believes there should always be the risk to life and limb in armed conflicts. If we reduce that danger to near zero, I think we’ll quickly desensitize ourselves to the abhorrence of war. And yes, I know our mission is to remove or reduce the enemy’s ability to fight through the attrition of material resources. And yes, we target the enemy’s war fighting capability not the war fighters themselves. But isn’t that also a hold-over from the nation-state conflict of the past. Today’s enemy doesn’t follow those old rules. They don’t mass, they don’t store, and they don’t produce. They’re mobile, agile, and versatile. It’s a little hard to destroy the AK in their hands with a Mk-82 and not kill the war-fighter too. The other part of me also understands that there’s little difference between dropping a half-mile stick of Mk-117 from high altitude and firing a Hellfire missile on UAV from the other side of the planet when the target is a small group on a mountain top. The UAV will probably be more effective both in cost and damage. Anyway, do you think at some point in the near future we’ll see an F-22 with a pair of fast-burning UAVs for wingmen?
  7. Personally, I think it's wrong to remove the human-equation from the threat environment. I still believe in the nobility of the pilot who goes into harm's way. If we're not willing to risk our lives for the cause then how can that cause be just? Without the risk, it becomes a business instead of an endeavor. Heck, why not just nuke them in that case.
  8. According to this article from CNN, Secretary of Defense Robert Gates says the F-35 will be the last manned fighter aircraft in the US inventory. http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/americas/07/23/wus.warfare.remote.uav/index.html
  9. At least now I know why Space Command switched over to flight suits. TIB took all the gay blue jumpsuits they used to wear.
  10. Why is it that the only people who think TIB is great are the people in (or used to be in) TIB?
  11. Anyone remember the year Lackland painted the grass green for an upcoming inspection. They used green paint not that green fertilizer stuff. Took almost a year for the grass to recover.
  12. Pick shorts but no reflexive belt...back to the bunker with you young man.
  13. What happens to a Viper when it has a complete computer system failure in-flgiht?
  14. I learned to hate hippies while standing the line at Vandenberg AFB in '83 for the Peacekeeper protests. These nasty F***s have no concept of personal hygiene.
  15. Straight from the Air Force Portal..."CMSAF Perspective - We Care about You!"
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