Was your husband in Blues?
Reason why I ask is this:
You said that while you were stationed at the UPT base, everyone was cool. Chances are that most of the time you are hanging out with these people, they were in Flight suites. While there are rules and regs about PDA in flight suites, when you are a flight suite, it's pretty lax. Plus, chances are you might have been at the club or squadron bar or something along those lines where it wasn't "formal-ish"
Now, if he was in blues, chances are he was in a more "formal-ish" setting, and that's why you get "yelled" at. I don't think the major had any right to yell at YOU, he/she should have taken your husband aside and said something, IMO.
My husband has been in for 11yrs, he has "different" personallities in each uniform. If he's in blues, he's very rigid, by the book, and no touching at all. If he's in his BDU's, he's the same, only he'll give me a hug if we are parting ways or something, but he will not hold my hand or anything. Now, if he is in his Flight suite... He'll put his arm around me or hold my hand.
I hope that answers some of your questions.
Keep in mind, some people are more lax on issues then others.