[LocoF16]

One of the best radio calls you can make at Sheppard:

FWC: "Banger 1, following BEAVR you are cleared direct to Vera, cleared to fly Vera."

Banger 1: "Banger 1 cleared to Vera through BEAVR."

Not the most precise reply, but opportunity is like gold...

[Flare]

I don't think this has ever been posted on here before.

There's 32 pages of posts, so it might be alot to tackle in one reading. Some are pretty stupid, and repeats, but some were hilarious. If anyone wants to, feel free to add more to the baseops webpage.

http://www.airlinepi...read.php?t=2263

[Toasty]

Does this grate on anyone else's nerves?

"I was flying from Tulsa to Dallas, when I heard a Bonanza check in on Fort Worth Center: Fort Worth Center Bonanza 1234 WITH YOU (hate that) at 7,500 bla bla bla. Center comes on and says squawk 0123. After a while the center asks the Bonanza to squawk altitude.
The next transmission I hear is the craziest thing:
Bonanza 1234 confirm squawk please, he replies yes squawking 7500. Center comes on screaming (with bells going off in the background);
Sir, 7500 is the Hijack code, you need to be squawking the code I gave you. You have the whole nation alarmed."



So, you're telling me that if I'm discretely squawking 7500, Center's gonna come over the mic and say "HEY, ARE YOU BEING HIJACKED?"

FAN-tastic.

[Port Dog]

Over UNICOM:
"If you taxi with yo' flaps down, put yo' hand down."

[LockheedFix]

Heard on ATIS in the background during a pause between the altimeter setting and NOTAMs: "I'm getting drunk tonight!" When I called ground, the chick that cleared us to start engines was definitely the same voice that announced her intentions for that evening on the tape loop every thirty seconds for the next hour.

[FourFans130]

LockheedFix, on Apr 10 2007, 10:05 AM, said:

Heard on ATIS in the background during a pause between the altimeter setting and NOTAMs: "I'm getting drunk tonight!" When I called ground, the chick that cleared us to start engines was definitely the same voice that announced her intentions for that evening on the tape loop every thirty seconds for the next hour.

It would be even funnier if you hear that in the desert.

I've always been a fan of Ali Center complimented by Eagle Ops.

Cheers,
FourFans

[HerkDerka]

During an AEF swapout with the new controllers in the tower for the first time:

"Al Udeid ATIS information charlie, uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh."

Three sweeps and the ATIS when off the air for a few seconds.

"Al Udeid ATIS information charlie, 0458Z, winds 170/10, sky cond......uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh......fuck."

Five full sweeps of it until they realized their mistake.

HD

[Viperfixr]

This takes place during a nightime flight into Green Bay with my girlfriends little brother (16 yr old). Its his first time flying in a small plane so he's talking ALOT "look at that, look at that." He loves picking out the Walmarts because of the bubbles on the roof. I told him when we get into GB airspace to be quiet so I can talk to the GB controller. I was in the downwind and I see a landing light on long final. Little bro is glued to the window over the city. About a second later the controller requests I perform a short approach to land in front of the jet, or extend downwind and come in number 2. I initiated the turn, keyed the mic and sure enough out it comes "HEY THERES A WALMART DOWN THERE." I looked at him with a "what did we talk about earlier" tone. He asks me if they heard that. I nodded yes and told him to be quiet so I could confirm our turn. He turned very red and did not say another word there or back. Good story for the family during holiday dinners, he still turns VERY red. Controller took it in stride.

[Chuck17]

The funniest thing had to be the 'fuck' over the radio at the Deid a couple summers ago, followed by the ground controller asking 'Who said fuck on the radio?'

Second funiest would have to be flying into Frankfurt... Its 2am, we are returning from Balad empty and there is another C17 just a few miles behind us. Goes like this:

Us: "Director, Reach 6969 request high speed arrival."
Director: "Reach 6969 Approved high speed runway 25L."
Other 17: "Yeah Director Reach 1878, we request high speed arrival too."
Director: "No Reach 1878, somebody has to lose."

Chuck

[ClearedHot]

Trying to launch out of a forward location on an E-CAS Mission. The ground controller treis to tell me to hold position so he can recover and park a C-17 on a 20 mile final. I respond "Negative, we are on a real world mission", the C-17 never even lets the controller respond when they answer, "We are real world too"....YGBFSM!

This post has been edited by ClearedHot: 10 April 2007 - 08:46 PM

[DC]

Not the funniest EVER, but it made me laugh. Last T-1s coming home for the day, we were coming back from a singleton mission fam O&B. I had a great flight w/ the only problem being a tendency to mix up my radios. While descending into Vance my instructor is joking w/ me the whole time looking at the clock about overflying. I'm doing my best to stay as high as I can to keep TAS up on the descent and then plumet in at the end, which backfires into them giving us retarded vectors. We're the only aircraft on Approach North's frequency. Right after getting vectors he keys up the mic:

My IP: "Hey Tora 2, I can't believe these fukers are going to overfly me on a Friday." (he was referring to me and the other student)
ATC: "Tora 71, Approach. Its Thursday, sir."
My IP (w/o missing a beat on now on correct freq.): "Hey Tora 2, I can't believe I just said that to ATC."
A couple minutes later ATC: "Tora 71 flight, contact tower channel 5, and we did the best we could for you, sir. I don't see why you had to be so rude to us."

All was well when I pointed out we didn't have to take ALL five minutes of taxi time. He didn't have to fill out overfly paperwork and I didn't buy any downgrades for comms.

This post has been edited by DC: 10 April 2007 - 11:53 PM

[Techsan]

I have heard several airline passenger briefings over guard, and once over center freq....and they never seem to get old. Especially after their wafer listening to everyone step on each other so they could make fun of the dude.

I'm wondering if its an initiation that airline guys have. I know that just about every time I key the mic I take a glance at what radio I'm transmitting on...however I still end up with occasional radio buffonery.

[JP84U2]

Cam's story reminded me of something that happened 20 years ago at RAF Bentwaters: We were sitting in the specialist truck covering launches, I was but a lowely wing nut, half asleep on the bench in the back. The guy driving the truck was talking about banging a one legged girl and then started in on a rather lengthy and graphic description of oral sex on a chick and how close to the turd chute your tougne was..... his description was so vivid that one of the guys was about to about that time the ProSuper truck comes flying up at the speed of heat, the ProSuper screaming "Your mic is stuck, your mic is stuck!"


The boom formerly known as Humps.

[capt4fans]

OIF flying out of a base in the Med........16 pulls off the tanker, and checks the code words for the day.


Female 16 driver, "Viper 56 is CAMEL TOE"!!!!

I thought I was gonna shit myself.

[C17Driver]

Sitting on the ground at Pope during a JFEX at halftime (middle of the night). A maintainer (female) working on a -130 across the ramp with a stuck mic on the ground freq. She apparently had quite the night of getting drunk, eating pizza...and "messing" around with her roommate...